Changeling
by Undercover
Summary: After Logan leaves Rogue, A terrible happening changes her life and those around. When he returns a few years later than expected, she is not quite the same girl he left. A new cajun *cough* Stranger helps her overcome her fears and embrace her new life.
1. Nightmares

**DISCLAIMER: No money or even amusement was made in the making of this fic.**

**Note: I have seen the first Xmen movie, parts of the second and parts of the third. I have read some of the comics, and seen parts of the newest cartoon. I did however watch MUCH of the old cartoon when I was younger. However, saying that, this is not canon at all, I mean, isn't that pretty much the point of fan fiction? Fun? So, the accents are hard to do, so mostly, I'll leave it up to your imagination. I've really only cut off some g's like in thinkin', or doin', goin', stuff like that. other colloquial language is used, but it is fairly universal for everyone. K?**

_She was crying._

'_No! NO!' Rogue screamed, despite the force that pressed her on._

Rogue sat up in a quick start, the cool sweat on her body sickening. Her layered clothes just absorbed her fear and it still clung to her. Getting out of her bed she quietly rummaged through the drawers next to her, looking for new clothes. Grabbing some and quietly heading out the door, she cast an eye over the room, making sure her roommates were still asleep.

When she reached the bathroom, she quickly changed. She was up, and felt that changing clothes was something to keep her busy. She wasn't really all that sweaty from her horrid nightmare, but she couldn't go back to sleep. Instead, she found herself in day clothes. It was early, but it didn't matter. Anything was better than her alternative. That dream haunted her at least thrice weekly.

She didn't want to leave the privacy of the quiet bathroom, ironically, as she knew it would be teeming with others soon. But part of her wanted to be with others, so she wouldn't think what she was trying to desperately to avoid thinking. The confusion was nothing new to her.

"Damn." She cursed herself.

"Rogue!" a voice called out for her later that day as she walked outside.

Turning around, Rogue saw Kitty running to catch up to her. She came up, short of breath, "hey."

"Hey shug," Rogue smiled despite her lack of warmth that she felt. Nothing against Kitty, but usually following the episodic nights, she was distant.

"It happened again, eh?" Kitty knew that something was wrong when she awoke in the morning to find a missing Rogue. Moreover, it happened frequently and her friend chose not to say anything.

"Don't call me Rogue for nothin'" Rogue teased her, trying to play it off.

"Right," Kitty let it go as well, laughing it off.

Instead the two walked to the courtyard where the younger kids played around. Rogue had her lunch, offering Kitty the pickle from the sandwich the cooks had made. Kitty in turn gave Rogue the banana from her lunch.

"They never make 'em the right way." Rogue laughed.

Kitty snickered as well, usually Rogue and Kitty, as well as some of the others, always switched lunch accessories around because the sides never matched the main meal that was made. No one was ever happy. Though Kitty laughed, she was worried for her friend. Things hadn't been working out for Rogue, Kitty knew that. She was about to broach the subject when more people came up to sit with them.

Jubilee came up to the two and sat on the ground looking over to see what they had to eat. She made a face and turned back to her own food. Bobby also came up with a straggler friend or two, giving a small smile to Rogue, sat and ate, joining all the discussions as well.

As people continued to gather around Rogue felt smothered. She never liked to make a big deal out of it, but felt she couldn't possibly last another minute. Not wanting it to be obvious, she 'accidentally' let her sandwich slip from her lap to the ground.

"Oh," she made a concerned noise.

"Here you can have some of mine," Bobby offered her half his sandwich.

"And you can have your pickle back," Kitty teased.

Rogue laughed, standing up. "I'll just go get somethin'. Be right back."

As Rogue walked away, she could hear the laughter continuing on and she knew she'd be safe. They would notice she was gone, but forget or think nothing of it. It wasn't a big deal. Rogue walked back inside, but avoided the kitchens and wandered the empty halls. Everyone was out to lunch and it left her to think more.

She hated thinking about it. But couldn't help it. How could she? She'd lost one of her closest friends. The others felt the same grief she did, to an extent, but tried to play it down for her sake. But no matter what was said, or wasn't, it still hurt. It had been near a year, but she still wore the black around her heart. Despite the new students that came to replace the missing, Rogue still couldn't help but feel the pain. Not only her own, but everyone else's as well.

She found herself in front of her bedroom door. But she couldn't bear to go in. Not without someone else. Instead she walked along again until she found herself string at the memorial wall. She never came this way; less someone suspect what was truly going on with her. But she had a hard time fighting it sometimes. She usually came at night, when she couldn't sleep, and no one was about.

Her hand reach up to touch the plaque below the picture. She hesitated a moment, looking at her gloved hand. Looking into the eyes of the picture before her, she smiled, and her heart cried on. She traced the engraved name with her fingers, barely feeling the ridges due to the material between her and the inscription. _Carol Danvers_.

She brought her hands back tucking them tightly to her, and breathing into her clasped hands. Carol had been something special, a bright student, popular, beautiful beyond belief. Rogue's growing headache forced her to turn away, and return to class. The rest would expect her there.

Xavier knew when Logan was coming back, despite the block Logan had in his brain to being read. Tension rode in the air unknowingly. It seemed only appropriate for the drama that was consuming the mansion. Jean and Scott remained irritable for a week after their last mission. Storm snapped at her students, and other minor irritants occurred. Even the students were catching on to the infectious air, as couples broke up and had various ridiculous spats. Not that Charles kept up with every happening in the love lives of his students, but some he kept close eyes on.

It would only be natural that the gruff Canadian would be arriving home, more to stir the pot and set everyone's disorder. Xavier just wished that it would become home for Logan. He sought a center, Charles knew. In Cerebro, Xavier was not caught off guard when he felt the familiar presence of Logan, or Wolverine, driving in. Still miles off, it wouldn't be long until he was home. Carefully setting down the headpiece, Charles decided that he might as well speak with Jean. Things had certainly changed in the years that Logan had been gone. So much that, Charles was _almost_ stunned that he really was coming back.

Logan was never one for entrances, overrated that, but he drove into the garage, and found a class in session. Cyclops glare softened when it left Wolverine and landed to his dearly departed bike. Turning back to the students, he let them go on with their piecing together machinery. The advanced class would soon be ready for flight lessons. Their ability to rebuild their own engines was the marker. The younger classes still got a chuckle from the simulations.

"One-Eye," Logan smirked as he left the garage classroom.

Scott let it roll off him as the kids laughed. He mimicked ha-has before turning them back to their work. Though he smiled to himself, knowing what his one-time teammate was walking into. He didn't hate the man, but got a kick knowing the hothead had what was coming. Let him see how he handled that one…

Logan stopped by the Professor's office first, thinking it only decent, as the old man owned the place. Well, that, and he wasn't entirely what he seemed, Logan knew that. He kind of liked him but wouldn't really admit it. Just as he never admitted anything to anyone.

"Wheels?" he knocked on the door and stuck his head in the door.

"Wolverine." He was greeted calmly as if expected.

Of course, Logan thought. Chuck would be aware of his presence kilometers away. Noticing the class he interrupted he was about to step out, but they were dismissed. He let them pass and sat down to see what Xavier would have to say, nothing new he was sure. If the world had been in danger, he would've known.

"Logan," Charles nodded once the last student had left.

"Yeah, still answering to that," Wolverine said in the brusque manner of his.

"Of course." Xavier was not put off by any mannerism of anyone he'd ever met.

"Been some time, heh?" Logan let himself grin. He did feel a certain draw to the atmosphere here.

"Yes, let me fill you in on the past few years."

Rogue had seen Logan come in, but had said nothing. He was the one who left, she had decided long ago. He could be the one to approach her. If he even cared. She'd worn his dog tags every day. Everyday until…well, she didn't want to think about it just then. Surely Prof X would fill him in, she thought bitterly.

Rogue opted to skip dinner. She was sure that most probably thought she as just anorexic, but the smarter ones were only steps behind her. She really needed to figure her shit out, she sighed. Instead, she tossed her gloves over to shelf and began her workout. The bag had it coming tonight.

Letting out the frustration from not sleeping, from Logan's return, from everything she laid into the mutant-capable bag. She left the softer one alone, choosing to use the reinforced xtra-super-duper-some-odd-crap-whatever bag. It had some goofy ass name that she could careless about, as long as it could take the brunt.

She gave a little laugh at the irony that she didn't have to use gloves here of all places. Where most would need the padding, she was free to feel the shock of the bag on her knuckles. Hey, it was a feeling she seethed.

"Hey Kid," the gruff voice interrupted her.

"Wolverine," She acknowledged him without turning around.

"Marie?" Logan tried again, losing the usual bite to his tone.

"Wolverine?" she played his concerned tone back on him, picking her rhythmic boxing back up.

"It's Logan, ya know."

No response. Logan recognized the formal tone. Heaving a mental sigh for staying away so long. He looked over the girl he promised to protect, but did little to fulfill that promise. She was fit, he could tell from her torturing the exercise equipment, and he noticed more about her than he'd remembered.

Since she was alone in the fitness hall, she was decked out in tight fitting workout clothes. Logan didn't see a problem with that until he noticed her skin, not glowing but wet and shimmering from the sweat she racked up. He couldn't let it go after what Chuck had told him. Rogue certainly was different. Logan would have liked to think that she was in layer-less clothes because she working out and needed that freedom, or that because she was alone. But he noticed she was not wearing his tags. He had seen her put them on when he left. The Rogue he left never would have taken them off. The Rogue he left, Marie, would never have greeted him so, so short and jaded.

"Hear it's been a blast here," he more mumbled to himself, thinking she was done talking to him. He walked about the room, trying to talk with her, but more to himself.

"And a half," Rogue grunted as she kicked the victim bag.

Logan was slightly surprised that she responded, but it was what he was hoping for.

"Never a dull moment, I'm sure." He gave a light punch to the ordinary bag, the one meant for the normal strength mutants, knocking it off the hinges.

Rogue stopped pummeling on the bigger bag with a huff of air, taking a breather. "What do you want, _Logan?_"

Logan heard the direct malice in her voice, but wasn't going to let the kid get hers. "How about some Lo mein and moo goo gai pan?"

Rogue didn't even bother to roll her eyes and walked to her effects, downing the water.

"Don't date older men." He said rather than asked. Logan wouldn't let up. He knew she was going for the badass act in front of him, but he was going to counter with a joker routine. "Probably smart."

"Wolverine." Rogue turned to him, knowing that Logan didn't believe in the new her. She could play it off for her friends and act like nothing was wrong, but Logan didn't fall into that realm anymore. "_Logan_. What's there to talk 'bout?"

"Just thought there might be, kid."

"Sorry, no."

"Don't apologize for what you really mean, kid." He said gruffly, not liking the oversweetness she was now giving him.

"Don't give advice, _man_."

"Be careful who you piss off, _little girl_." He now egged her on, knowing what would come.

"Whom," she laughed at him, seeing what he was trying.

"C'mon, just do it." he pushed more.

He saw the flicker in her eyes, knowing that there was something more to what was going on, but the Rogue he knew and the Rogue before him were fighting. It wasn't going to be as simple as them fighting it out, in words or in fists. When he saw her walk away, he knew that Xavier was right on the one account at least. She would not use her new powers.

Rogue was furious when she left the equipment room, yanking on her gloves. She'd worked out and that was good for her rage then. But Logan, _Wolverine_, had charged her further. She had wanted to duke it out with him, but she wouldn't. She couldn't. It wasn't that easy. She wasn't going to use—

"Marie," Logan came up behind her, obviously decided not to let it go so easily. She should have known better.

"It's Rogue." She turned around to face him. Now that she had a certain piece of her under control, she could speak to him more readily.

"Rogue, then," Logan exaggerated it for her. "Ya gonna fill me in then?"

Rogue didn't answer for quite some time, trying to decide best how to say what she wanted. Finally she dropped the attitude and let it out. "Logan."

"Yes there's been some shit happen. And it's hard. But yah don' get to help me. I was on my own before I met you, and after. It's been like three years."

"Okay, so maybe you're stronger now, but you're weaker just the same." He told her, giving away that he knew what had happened last year.

"That's not it. My problem with you is that you left me."

"I said I'd come back."

"Protection my ass, Logan." She gestured with a gloved hand. "I don't need yah."

"Fine, then, I didn't come back for you, is that what you wanted to hear?" he asked after her as she walked along, heading to the residential wing.

"I know you didn' come back because of me." She said simply over her shoulder.

"Twenty and you know it all." He followed on after her, knowing she was aching for a fight. He wanted this over with, he did honestly care about her and wanted to help her through this web she'd gotten into.

"You learn," She played his game stopping at her door, extremely grateful that Kitty and Jubes were not in the room, or anyone in the wing to hear this fight.

"So, you want to live on your own in the real world? Let's go, this isn't it." he called her out. "X's is great, but you want live on yer own in the dirty world, let me show you were to start."

"Right, you know everythang," she let herself get mad this time.

"I know that this high school shit isn't it. We'll go dump you in where you belong and see you 'be on yah own' then." He mimicked her. "And since I'm here, where's my property?"

Rogue, fuming, ripped open the door, bending the hinges unintentionally and unaware, she stormed over to her small collection of personal items and grabbed his tags from the bottom of the assortment. She flew back to him, enraged, and slammed them down in to his hand, which dropped down because of the force.

Logan pulled them from his hand and put them around his own neck, a red mark on his hand from the tags being forced into his possession. "Let's go then." He kept up the act of dumping her on the real world.

"Go on your own."

"I want to be here," he told her softening some.

"So do I, I'm stayin' here." She told him with force.

"Good," he smiled at her.

She slit her eyes, half glaring at him and he could see her trying to work out what had just happened. He had gotten her to stay, Xavier had been worried about her leaving, and Logan had just proved that she really didn't want to leave. She might not be in college like other girls her age, or doing a lot of things like most people her age, but she wanted to stay and learn.

"You did that on purpose," she poked a finger out at him.

"Marie," he ignored her accusation, "whenever you're ready to talk…" he left it at that. She could come find him. He ducked out of his tags, and hung them on her finger, still pointing at him.

Wolverine stunned Rogue. He had played her right around. The ice about her melted a little concerning Logan. She looked down at his dog tags and wrapped her fingers around. She was foolish to think of just herself and his promise to her. Maybe. He had his own life to decipher. Maybe she had been harsh. It wasn't that easy, she knew. But at least he was trying. At least he seemed to care.

She looked over to a mirror on Kitty's desk, and saw her face. It was strange. Her hair was cut short, the white streak still as prominent as ever. Ignoring the fly aways she had from her exercise, she managed to look exactly the same and completely different. She could see why Logan might be thrown off, and yet not. She was a mess. She was two people in one. She was torn and she was untouchable.

Maybe she would take Logan up on his offer.

When she couldn't sleep that night, Rogue actually considered seeking Logan out, but after her last run in with him and his claws, she knew better. Instead, she thought of Bobby.

He'd come to see her after dinner, knowing Logan was back and that she most likely didn't want to see him. Rogue didn't tell him that she already had. She just didn't want to talk about it. They talked about school instead. Rogue found herself thinking of what Logan said, how she was at this school, despite her age.

"Bobby," she asked him, "Do you ever want to do somethin' else?"

"What do you mean, Rogue?" He knew she preferred that name now.

"Like, college, or somethin' not here, or are the X-men it?"

"I dunno." He thought for a bit. "I consider myself lucky, with my gift. I like it here." He knew what she meant, most people their age we away from home at school, getting drunk, married, whatever. And they had stayed here for the past few years to tone their powers.

"I wish I did." Rogue mumbled to herself, back alone in her room and out of her memory. She wished she considered her mutation a gift, but it was a curse.

She got up and walked out into the hall, bumping into someone, and nearly choking on her heart in her throat.

"Yah scared me, Drake!" she laughed seeing it was Bobby.

"Sorry Rogue." He laughed too. "Couldn't sleep. Lucky you skipped supper, it was horrible."

"Yeh," she managed a little laughter, hoping he wouldn't ask her why she was up. But he did.

"I, uh," she stumbled, "I was hungry. Thinkin' of goin' to get somethin' to eat."

"Sure," he invited himself along.

Feeling obligated, she went ahead and went into the kitchen. But it proved fun. She and Bobby pigged out on junk food for once, forgoing the usual proper diet. Then wandering around the mansion at night, it was good to have a companion for once. Rogue knew which areas to avoid, the quarters reserved for the real x-men, and the alarmed areas, as well as whoever was one watch. Rogue figured the Professor really knew that she lurked about at night, unable to sleep, but he let it go. As long as the mischief was inside the mansion and not out, he seemed to be ok.

They ended up on the roof. Storm must've been in a good mood, for the night was clear and the starts sparkled. Rogue felt slightly uncomfortable with being there, considering the past, but the beers she'd stolen from Logan's new stash eased the pain a bit. Bobby was slightly different in thought.

"Rogue," He wanted to call her Marie, but he didn't want to scare her off. Though he felt he was surely about to. "I don't mean to be a jerk, but,"

"But what, Iceman?" Rogue looked over at him, her arms wrapped about her. "Drake?"

"Bobby." He told her.

"Bobby."

"I don't mean to be an ass, but you're different, you've changed." He watched her flinch uncomfortably. "I mean within reason."

"But?" she looked on at him, trying not to get mad.

"I just, I want to help."

"You can't, Bobby." She told him sadly, almost wishing he could.

"I know. I just wish I could."

"I mean," he tried again, trying to get her to talk. "I could try."

He leaned towards her slowly and she pulled away. "Bobby, no."

He looked into her eyes and could see that he was speaking to his old Rogue, Marie, mostly, but the new one was still there.

"Goodnight, Iceman." Rogue left him on the roof.

In her bed, she relived the night on the roof that Bobby, she was sure, was trying to recreate.

She had been a year at the institute, getting to know everyone and having a good time. Logan had already left, but she had his tags, and was confident he would back any time now. It was summer and the classes were put on break for a few weeks before summer training. All of the older kids had decided to take their college years at Xavier's in hopes to becoming a team someday. Things were going well. Bobby and she had grown close and sat up on the roof all alone.

"_They are so bright, shug," Rogue said looking up at the starts._

"_Yeh, pretty huh?" Bobby smiled not looking up._

"_Yeh," she nodded looking over at him._

_He watched her, smiling and it made her feel good. He had the look of a visitor to an art show, admiring the work. She smiled shyly back, but looked back up to the stars again. _

"_Marie," he liked saying her name._

"_Bobby," she laughed a bit._

"_I have an idea, if you're interested." He told her about his thought that he could hold a frost to his skin and be able to touch her._

_She carefully agreed, and let him touch her arm. He'd warned her that it would be very cold, but she was shocked that she could still feel him. She had been excited at first, and could ignore the coldness._

_Bobby carefully took her hand removing the thin glove, and kissed her hand, his lips very cold. Rogue was enjoying the experience but still shocked, stunned, and excited. Nervous as well._

_Bobby took his time, not rushing her at all, and finally sat right next to her. He reached over and kissed on the cheek. Rogue, however, was the one to turn her face in excitement and kissed his lips. It was sweet, cold, and wonderful for a moment. Until both lost control. Rogue continued to kiss him, eager for the chance, and Bobby, happy to touch her, let his power slip. The heat between them also melted the thin ice between heir lips. _

_Rogue could feel her power react, and reaching for him, she yanked back, scared, but it was too late. She had grabbed a piece of him. He was fine afterwards, slightly dizzy from her minor absorption. But she had part of him with her, and not in the romantic sense._

Rogue could still feel that part of Bobby. It wasn't so bad, because she knew he cared for her. But she felt that she stole it. She always felt like a thief. Especially now. With that and everything else, it was no wonder she was distant. It was crazy, she thought. She didn't know what to do. Rogue had grown strong in recent years though, losing her innocence, she found a new strength. One that would have her figure out her own life, no one else could really help with that.

**So I'm working on it. More soon. Hope ya like.**


	2. Nightmares Revisted

Logan left Rogue standing at her door with a look of confusion on her face. However, he knew it wasn't long before she figured it out. In a small sense. In the grander scheme of things, he knew she had a lot to figure out. Hell, they all did. Life was never easy—on anyone. But he would be there for her when she wanted him. He would try to be there when she needed him. It was hard to tell though.

He hadn't wanted to crowd her, so he spent the rest of the day and a few more doing his own thing. He never really saw himself as an 'X-man', but he sort of missed the groove. Although he hadn't done it long, he'd come back. For more than one reason. But now, the idea of being an educator? An instructor? No. But the idea of coach…trainer? Yeah, he could handle that for some time. Who doesn't need to know how to defend themselves? A fool.

When he finally came across Jean, she was alone. She helped with the school occasionally, but seemed more involved on the X-men front. While he didn't need a check physical or otherwise, Chuck still sent him to see her. If anything, Jean would be able to inform him on other events Charles couldn't. To no surprise, he found Scott in Jean's work rooms.

"Wolverine," he nodded to him smugly.

"Scooter." Logan shot back, walking up to Jean.

"Back so soon?" Jean asked, having been informed of his arrival by Scott the previous night.

"Couldn't wait for all the fun." He grinned.

"I'm sure you know how much we missed you, so we won't waste breath." Cyclops grinned right back.

Storm came in at the same time, carrying hard copy files. She looked over to see Wolverine. "Hullo Logan."

"Storm," he gave her a nod.

"Scott, here are the papers you requested, I think it should suffice." She handed him her files, placing a disk on top, one that surely held all the same data for the computer.

"We'll all meet tonight, and situate our issues." Scott said as he got up heading out the door with Ororo's offering.

Storm stayed some minutes to discuss with Jean something Logan had no idea over, he stepped to the side and waited. After awhile the woman left.

"Like the cut," Logan called after her, the mohawk was a change since the last time he had seen her.

"Now, what may I do for you, Wolverine?" Jean turned her attention to Logan.

He suppressed the laughter and the foul answer he had for her, grunting something about Xavier. Jean already knew why he was there, but wanted him to make an effort if he was going to join up.

"Well, let's see what we can do then, eh?" she pointed him to the examination table.

When he left, Logan felt violated. Not physically, but mentally. He had not wanted her inside his head, but knew she needed to check it was him and not some impersonator, like Mystique. She had stayed true to her word and only searched what she knew was allowed. He did let her see a glimpse of herself in his brain though, and she blushed. Like he knew she would.

Jean Grey would never admit her attraction to Logan, Scott held her heart. He always had. Ever since they were young. But she liked the cocky, arrogant, self-assured, jackass Canadian. He was something that she had not had much experience with, an opposite of herself. Her psychological interests drew her to him.

Wolverine went to the action wing, as it was called, were one would find the danger room and the fitness equipment. He reattached the bag he broke the previous night and looked through his new arena. His classroom. He shuddered to think of himself that way, but it would do for now. He knew these kids needed hand-to-hand training. The War Room was left for the more advanced students, the pre-Xers. Logan had refused to punch buttons, and left the Danger room training to someone else. He wanted hands on action.

Looking around, he could tell that the kids had been doing well, the machines and weights were well used, but Logan could tell he need personal preference equipment, his classes wouldn't start until the summer, so he had some time.

Rogue didn't seek Logan out for sometime. She didn't want to. She couldn't. Instead she made note of his schedule and ran through the equipment when he wasn't there. She knew, however, that it was just a matter of time before he cornered her. It came when she was confidently beating up the smaller bag with quicker punches. It loudly covered everything as she rapidly pummeled it.

She felt that if she worked out she was getting out her aggressions, and more deserving of her new strength. Most of the time she didn't quite believe that. She slowed down giving it one last deck before turning around, right into Logan.

"Hey Kid."

"Logan." She still wasn't sure how to deal with him. Maybe they were still friends, well they were. No maybe. But she wasn't ready to forgive him. They both knew it.

"Ah, still with the dramatics," he took her place to quickly hit on the small handbag. He surprised himself sometimes with how honest he was with this girl.

"It's a gift."

In that, he knew she was still standoffish. The new stronger/weaker Rogue was difficult. She'd long discarded her layered clothes for revealing attire that let her skin breathe. But he knew it was due to her new daring personality. She didn't care. She was a walking contradictory confusion lately. Everyone knew it.

Logan thought of asking her friends what had been happening with her, but had gone about it carefully. Kitty had not wanted to talk about it with him, saying it wasn't hers to discuss. Jubilee had told her what she knew which wasn't much. Bobby was, in a word, icy. The boy was just as protective over Rogue as Logan.

So time continued on, and Wolverine accepted his X-men duties. The occasional missions were entertaining, as he found the mansion dulled him. But the kids were entertaining. The ones that learned to fly and that excelled in the Danger room were up for membership in the club, as Logan put it. All that needed to be discussed at the meeting of the X-men with the professor in following months.

Charles had much to discuss with his X-men, several things had come into light in recent months that needed attention. First on course new X-men. The rest were only aware of the brilliant young adults that had emerged in the school, but there were more mutants that Charles was interested in recruiting.

"I know we are to discuss the up and coming talents," Xavier started the discussion, "But others call my attention first."

He passed out a few pages. "These mutants particularly caught my eye, and I feel that we could use them. Look them over.

"Now, as for the former students we have here. Who do we feel is ready?"

"Iceman is certainly ready, we can all agree?" Scott looked around. "He has excelled on flight, combat, academic standards."

No one could argue with that, despite a derogatory 'frosty' remark by Logan. Besides, they knew he wanted it, which gave him drive.

"I think Kitty Pryde could use another year," Storm spoke up. "She is doing rather well, but is a younger member than the rest and it would only be to her advantage to wait."

"Jubilee," Jean spoke up, "as well. She, as the youngest, is still not as disciplined. But has the talent and the future."

"The kids have spunk though," Logan defended them. "They'll get there."

They talked about others, Peter, John, etc. Most of them were very close, but another six months or a year and they would be ready. It was not set that they would decide every year who made it and didn't, and not every one did make it, or wanted to. Some of the kids who were advanced went back to normal lives, or even joined other teams, some not even in the states. But some looked to stay.

Everyone remained quite because one thing was left undone, or untouched as it were. Rogue.

"Rogue." Someone finally said.

No one spoke at first. Technically she was ready. She had proved herself academically, physically, and more. The only thing holding her back was her.

"Perhaps we should give her a chance." Storm started of the discussion carefully.

"Perhaps not." Scott said in a regretful, not malicious, tone. "She could be a threat if she cannot maintain composure."

"She could be a threat on her own." Logan growled.

Xavier listen as his colleagues went back and forth, no one on either side, but just as confused as the poor girl they discussed. Finally he cleared his throat, knowing what it would come to.

"If it were not for her accident, the incident, would we feel her capable with just her lack of touch?"

Mumblings of confirmation came through as it was decided her ice queen standoffish behavior was a direct result the previous year's harm. Finding this to be the case, Charles then confirmed his initial thought.

"I will see her in my office, and continue the discarded sessions. We will find it all out. She is not telling everything."

"It is time." Cyclops and Storm both nodded.

Wolverine and Jean looked to each other, not seeing each other for a change, and nodded as well. Rogue would be examined.

Rogue's therapy did not begin right away. But, other changes occurred around the manor as well. A big blue bloke showed up, Dr. Henry McCoy, AKA Beast. The x-lings were fascinated by the new X-man and his science classes.

"A new player," John whispered to Bobby in class one day.

"Looks that way. Wouldn't want to be on the wrong end of that." Bobby elbowed Rogue and Kitty on either side of him.

"Wouldn't want to be on the wrong end of any of them." Kitty smiled.

At lunch, the discussion hadn't yet died.

"He's very smart," Jubilee said, as she had taken a class with him. "Jean, who was watching his first class that day, had to stop him and get him to speak in lay terms! Then she had to translate that!"

"Did he say what his abilities are?" asked Kitty.

"He's smart?" John laughed.

"I think your bein' smart, Pyro." Rogue teased him with a smile.

John shrugged sheepishly, flirting back. He knew Bobby hated it when she flirted, and it was rare, but John wasn't going to let her good humor slip away today.

"Apparently," Kitty leaned over in Gossip mode, "he's not the only change around here."

"Oh?" Jubes asked with a mouthful of sandwich.

"I think we have a growth spurt on our hands, x-men-wise." Kitty shot a look at Bobby.

"Yeh, your a shoe in, shug." Rogue turned her smile to Bobby, who also took advantage of her good mood.

The smile dropped from her face when she heard the Professor call her inside her head, requesting her to his office. She bit her lip and told her friends, getting up and slowly leaving. They gave her good-natured teasing about being in trouble as she left.

Despite the warm weather, Rogue felt cold in her tank top, she wrapped her short-gloved hands around her arms. Slowly she made her way to X's door, knowing hesitantly. The door opened for her revealing the Professor and a few X-men, Wolverine among them. Deep inside her she knew what this was about, and her stomach churned.

"H-hello," She tried to smile, her accent coming out full force due to her nervousness.

"Sit Rogue, relax." Professor Xavier gestured to an empty seat.

Feeling pressured she sat quickly down with her arms still hugging her body. She did not feel relaxed. She chewed on her lip and shot an eye to Logan, who gave the smallest nod and blink, just so she'd notice.

"You know what this is about?" Xavier asked her.

"Yes."

He looked for her to explain.

"Carol."

He let her go on.

"And Sinister."

While he didn't say anything, she refused to go on. The deeper rougher stubborn part of her emerging and refusing to be forced around.

"Rogue, I'm going to be honest with you." Xavier looked on if this was okay with her, she nodded. "We have been looking into new X-men, and we feel you are a strong candidate." He could feel her shock and her mind reel.

"However, we cannot continue," he sighed at a loss for words, "on this path."

"We need to sort out last winter."

She nodded, tears coming down her face, in spite of her glare.

"Are you in agreement with this."

She nodded, still angry and hurt, but part of her aching yes.

"Logan is here, do you feel safe?"

She nodded again, with a look to her friend, a look that said she forgave him, and he looked painfully on.

"I'd like to enter into your subconscious and pull forward your repressed memories of that time. I'd like to put you to sleep. I know you're having ill time sleeping. So we will dig in. Is this acceptable?"

With a nod, Rogue took a big sigh and looked around to see whom she was exposing herself to. Logan. Storm. Jean. The New Dr. McCoy. At least everyone wasn't there she told herself. She couldn't face an entire humiliation.

Xavier gestured to the couch and let her take her time. She was nervous but he wasn't going to force her. With Jean's help, he put her to sleep and the two sorted through the darkness.

Xavier went back to until he found a missing piece in her memory. He then focused in on that misty part. Like an overgrown forest, he had to find his way into the web and not destroy anything. Carefully peeling back piece after piece so the center could be revealed and before the rest would make sense.

_It was snowing out._ The X-men had just been relieved of duty, back from a previous mission, and all was quiet and well. Jean and Scott had taken private time, Logan was still away, Storm happy with the weather, and others went about their various business. Charles had taken time away from the school and was not in reach. It should have been an indicator to them. It was the perfect time.

The kids were scattered about the school, the ones not on holiday visiting home. Xavier took this time to delve into Rogue's psyche more. Bobby was home and had taken John, Kitty and Jubilee had gone to the city to shop and Rogue was with Carol, Betsy and the others. In Rogue's mind, Xavier could tell that Rogue was taken with Carol. She was the most popular and brilliant, most beautiful girl Rogue had ever met. Rogue adored the older girl. Carol was kind to her, once Bobby had broken the ground between Rogue and the rest of the school after that first mishap of her arrival.

Carol and Rogue sat outside while the others went inside and watched some of the younger kids. They ran about flexing their powers. Xavier could see how it was an absolute magnet to Sinister. Literally out of the blue, from the clouds descended a stealth ship that rivaled the Blackbird and broke through the school's gates. The kids were all shocked, but before anything could happen, they were gone. The alarm sounded, but all the outsiders had been scooped up and placed on board. Men in dark clothes ran back to the ship seeing the stirring X-men coming in force. The plane was gone before anyone even got outside.

Xavier knew at this point, Cyclops had taken charge and had a team to go after. He left the older kids in charge, the ones that were soon to be team members. Cyclops had been clear in what had happened on his end. Awoke by the alarm, he sprinted to the source to find the departing plane, screaming kids, and missing mutants. He gathered his team and set out after, keeping Jean on Cerebro and in touch.

But Rogue's memories had more to them. Xavier tried to piece what he knew with what he as now seeing. Carol and Rogue were just as scared as anyone on that plane, but tried to keep the younger kids calm. Rogue, layered completely, hugged on one who needed it. They were in the dark and time made no sense. The plane rumbled them about and she lost consciousness with the rest.

When she awoke, Rogue found herself stripped of her gloves, sleeves, and boots and chained to a machine. Having flashbacks to Magneto she fought hard to free herself. She couldn't. Finally looking around she could see the others chained as well. Carol was drugged she could tell, and the closest to her. The beautiful girl was strong beyond belief, Rogue knew, so her keeping her drugged kept her from her power source, unable to wield it. If they could control Marvel, Rogue knew things weren't good.

A man came up to her and Rogue couldn't see his face. She could hear the whimpering and cries of the other children. It was then that she realized that she was centered in the middle of them. The man laughed and only laughed harder as she struggled to get away. He mumbled something about helping her out and flipped a switch that started a generator. It rumbled to life and Rogue, not wanting to be scared stiff again, fought even harder, cutting herself on the bars that held her. She bruised and bled as she squirmed, though it did no good.

Finally, the machine was reaching its charge as Rogue's shackled wall was moved to the closest one. Seeing it was Carol, she called after her, seeing if she were okay. The girl was slowly coming to. But her powers were still beyond her reach. She was still young and not quite mature enough to control them so quickly after unconsciousness. The horrible cackling man yanked Rogue off her pedestal and forced her bare hand to Carol.

'No! No!' Rogue begged, seeing what he wanted. He wanted Rogue to touch her friend, to absorb her powers, and surely to absorb them all. The machine was to take them all from her and give them to the awful villain.

Carol looked up to see Rogue being forced at her, she cried as well, not able to do anything. Her strength, something she had always depended on could not save her. Her flight ability was not responding and left her grounded. She cried, begging it to stop.

To Rogue it looked like Carol begging her not to, but looking back on it a year later, she knew Carol was begging Sinister to stop. Carol broke down and hung from her chains, crying at her inability to stop the inevitable.

"No! NO!" Rogue screamed to stop the driving force. She couldn't.

She was forced to touch her friend, absorbing it all. Rogue felt the sickening touch and cried out as she felt she felt the energy transfer. From her powers, to her memories, to her life force. Rogue had taken it all. The man would have kept her hand in place if the sound of the X-men breaking in hadn't interrupted. Rogue fell in her chains when he left her, and so overwhelmed, she didn't know what had happened until she had awoke in the hospital wing back at the mansion. Next to the body of Carol.

Xavier knew that Cyclops had been able to track the weak trace Jean had been able to give him. Cerebro knew Rogue, and recognized her power spike. While they hadn't been in time to save Carol, the rest were spared from being absorbed and lost. Xavier, looking back later, was able to discern that Sinister had meant to collect the various mutant powers and transfer he powers to himself. Rogue would take them, and he would take them from her, the machine would see to that he had thought.

Xavier let go of his hold on Rogue, letting the girl continue to sleep, fearing she hadn't done so in quite some time. Sleep soundly anyway. He looked at Jean, who had witnessed it all as well. It was no wonder the girl was having problems. Not only had this happened to her before, but this time she had been forced to kill a friend. A friend whose personality she now wore.

"It's more than I thought," Xavier told them.

Storm and Logan leaned closer.

"She has Marvel's abilities, but refuses to use them." Xavier said. He had seen this as he had been unraveling the knots. "She feels responsible for Carol's death.

"In fact, she thinks her mutation is a curse, and feels nothing but a thief. Not wanting to get close to anyone else, she is afraid she will hurt everyone."

"So she is fighting with the multiple personalities in her head?" Storm asked.

"Indeed. The changes we've seen in her are partly due to the Carol in her. She is more sociable, or at least not completely willing to leave because Carol was drawn to people and vice-verse.

"But she is also bitter over it all. She keeps her friends, but at a distant. She is punishing herself in ways as well.

"And punishing those around her." Logan added, not needing telepathy to know that.

"Part of her wants to make others hurt, as she has so often been hurt. She shows her skin now, knowing that no one can touch it, or will touch it. But she stays by herself when she can because she is ashamed of herself, what she did—was forced to do, and what she can do.

"Rogue can't quite understand why she hasn't been ostracized either, so she has taken it upon herself. She separates herself from others so they don't have to go through the pain themselves. Or at least that is how she views it.

"So this is deeper that we suspected," Henry spoke up.

"Yes, but I think we have made a step in the right direction. Determining the problem is the first step."

"Or problems?" Logan asked directly, not wanting to play any of it down. He knew Rogue needed help, ignoring any of it would not help her.

"Yes. There are many."

"What do we do?" Jean asked.

"We continue on." Charles turned toward her. "She is not ready for full membership, but we can begin to help her. I think more sessions will have to be the start. Repressing her trauma is not the solution. I am sad that I let it get to this point. I had no idea."

Jean lowered her eyes as well. When Scott found the children, most were fine, if not traumatized, except for the two older girls. He carefully grabbed the two and brought them back. They were placed in critical care, and the others checked out. Jean then determined that Carol was alive in body only, and just barely. It was pieced together what possibly happened, that Rogue had absorbed Carol, and they knew she had received her powers and memories. They hadn't considered her personality traits until months later, when Rogue changes became more abrupt. When it was obvious Carol would never recover, Jean was forced to do what she did not want. Rogue covered her problems and hid them, making them believe that less was wrong. Carol had been a little star of an actress in her single digit years, before her powers, none of them knew. Rogue had down played the trauma. Now it was surfacing.

Logan had no idea the severe disturbance on Rogue, despite Xavier's explanations to him on his first night home. Charles had warned him what had happened. Rogue was going through changes and had new powers that she chose not to use. But none had realized the brutal truth of it all.

Rogue stayed in bed the next day, the Professor's control over her lasting through the night. She was grateful that he had let her sleep, but had had to relive what had happened, witness it all over. The morning came and her roommates got up like usual and went about their routines. They must've been warned, for none disturbed her. She couldn't bear to get up and out after watching Carol die all over again. Once the other girls left, she let herself cry, have a nice good long cry. She didn't do it that often, but it was due.

She considered that she might have been wallowing in self-pity all this time, but discarded the notion when her moodiness kicked in. She was complex yes, fine, she accepted it. But that moodiness yanked her up out of bed and on with life. It convinced her that it was not self-pity since she was still able to get up and about and on with her life. She wasn't going to let it affect her. It wasn't worth it. She was strong now, maybe physically, but this was making her grow emotionally too she knew. If she was ever going to be an X-men, or anything for that matter, productive, she needed to live. Not wallow.

The sessions with the Professor proved helpful at first, but the wall that was created did not yield after some time. The first few breakthroughs were wonderful, but it did not last, as Rogue's stubborn ill will found a way around it. It wasn't that she didn't want to be cured, it's just that it wasn't not so easy as laying back on a couch and divulging secrets to the Professor. He knew that too, and took time and care with her. Finally telling her they would take a break for a while, and pick the therapy back up in a few weeks.

Logan, however, worked with her on a physical therapy. Getting out every anger she felt, and trying to get her to wield her other powers. She couldn't, wouldn't though, never giving a reason, and Logan never pushed.

After one strenuous workout, she walked through the halls, thinking of going to the movie that night with Kitty. She kept asking her and Rogue actually felt like going out for a change. She nearly ran into Betsy coming out of her room as the girl made her way for the stairs.

"Hun, where's the fire?" Rogue laughed at Betsy stopping to primp one more time in the mirror.

"The fire's down in the foyer, luv" Betsy told her. "New meat is scrumptious."

"Be right down," Rogue called after her.

After showering and dressing, Rogue met the rest down at the steps to see about going out on the town and saw the man Betsy was on about. He had just entered into the Professor's office, his white wings trailing behind him.

"That him?" she asked Betsy, smiling, knowing the girl would go on about him.

"Oh, you didn't see the front!" she grinned wickedly. "Dahlings, I don't think I'll be going with you tonight."

"Fine, pant over the new recruit." Jubilee stuck her tongue out at the other girl.

"I will," Betsy sauntered to the rec room.

"Another new one, eh?" Rogue asked.

"Yeh, they are coming every so often it seems. Something big might be going down soon." Bobby came up behind the girls. "According to Kitty."

"Kitty also says," Kitty spoke in third person, "That there is more she thinks."

"More X-men?"

"More than what we know," Jubilee pointed out.

Jubiliee was right of course. More was going on than anyone knew. New mutants were coming to the mansion not just to join up, but for school as well. After a number of new students came in and the odd new team member or so, Xavier felt the need to make introductions. Rather than hold some traditional school assembly, he took the older kids out and had them meet their new mentors. Then they would be able to tell the rest. The new students were taken in warmly enough, but the new X-men required more.

"Okay, I know that all of you have been curious as to the latest going ons," Xavier smiled to the young adults before him in the receiving room. They had been asked in only to find everyone casually sitting about, less off-putting that way. "So, we'll make this easy."

"Most of you are familiar with Dr. McCoy, Beast," He nodded to his colleague. "He will continue on in the science department, but much like Jean Grey, will work mostly in the X-men laboratory.

"Mr. Worthington some of you may recognize, Archangel," he gestured to the winged man.

He pointed out a few others, not really naming there true purpose at the Mansion, or even mentioning them really living there. Just explaining that their appearance would not be unusual. Not every X-man lived at the Mansion or taught a class.

"Gambit," he gestured to the back wall next to Storm, "will be testing our securities, so please do not be alarmed by any sneaking about, he will steal up on you."

The man in the back, in his long trench coat and sunglass, grinned, but continued flipping cards around his fingers. No one had really noticed him sitting there, and Rogue fidgeted in her seat. Prof X was right when he said that one was a creeper. Kitty eyed her as well, they had both walked in and said hi to Ms. Munroe and were not even aware of the man that now stood beside her. It hadn't been hard to miss the giant white wings in the room, but apparently they had overlooked an entire man.

"One final thing," Charles looked to Cyclops. Scott stood up, taking cue from his mentor.

"We have discussed it immensely and feel you," he addressed the group, "are ready to enter the X-men, if you wish, for pre-training. This is different from what we have covered thus far, it requires commitment and dedication. Please think this through before."

A small buzz broke out, and Xavier cleared his throat. Jean continued for them. "We will have another meeting at the end of the week."

Jean and the others did not want to directly affect the decision of the pre-X-men, so quickly left the room. They were open to questions later on in the week, but wanted each post-student to figure things out for themselves. No one should join just because of their friend. All were being admitted, if they wished, on a trial-like basis, or on probation. They needed to grow and learn before truly being full-fledged members on their own. Most needed more experience, and hone their skills some. Rogue was still one to be watched, but she was too good to be let go as well. She deserved a chance as much as anyone else, despite the circumstance.

"Wow." Jubilee said for them all when just the few remained behind.

Peter nodded his agreement, looking on to Kitty, who for once didn't blush and fidget under his gaze. She grinned to the rest. John played with some fire as Bobby deflected it, although in a distracted way. Bobby looked to Rogue with a smile, and the girl weakly mirrored it. She was worried.

"Wow." She repeated in a more sedate tone. The excitement was strong, but the seriousness was not lost on them.

Jubilee cracked her knuckles, sending out mini fireworks. The others let out various displays of their powers as well, playing with the idea of X-manhood. Talking excitedly, they let their imaginations play.

"…Flying the blackbird," Bobby grinned to Rogue, knowing how much she liked it.

"Tight leather suits," Betsy laughed.

"I'm sure it's not all fun and games." Rogue hated to damper them, but she had been involved in a mission before, when they saved her.

"Fun and Games? No," John grinned, "But excitement? Yes."

"He's right, it's not necessarily that it's easy, but certainly something to be involved in." Kitty added.

"A good cause," Rogue nodded.

"You're one for Causes, Shugah," Jubilee mocked her southernness. 'The Cause' being the Confederates in the Civil War.

"And you are a cocky one, Miss," Rogue rose to her challenge.

"Someone has to be," Jubes grinned, leaning back in her seat.

"Yeh?" Rogue reached over and pushed her chair back ever so much that Jubes had to fight to balance, before falling backwards.

Rogue jumped up out of her seat and ran out of the room, knowing she was acting a child, but also knowing Jubilee would be right behind for the chase. Everyone felt good as they goofed off for the night and laughed. When Jubilee caught up with Rogue, who was nonchalantly chatting with a younger student and eyeing her friend, Jubes paced back and for before her attack, waiting. Rogue ran outside and jumped in the pool, with her clothes on, followed by her friends.

"You are full of it!" Kitty laughed, shocked at Rogue's spunk.

"Just piss and vinegar!" Rogue laughed as she kicked back and forth.

Bobby knelt down and let his power chill the pool, forcing Rogue out. When she got out, she made sure to shake her hair at him, soaking him just a bit. He thanked her sardonically.

"Sure thing," she grinned at him, truly feeling happy for the first time in a long time.

**See? Rogue is adjusting…slowly. Enter Remy. Sluuurp!**


	3. Beautiful Distractions

Kitty was reading over her journal when she should've been reading the diagnostic of the plane, but still thinking of Peter instead. She wrote the day's events, still trying to analyze what Peter had said and what he meant. She was sure there were discrepancies. Was he implying something? Or was his not implying something saying something else? She worried over it all as a girl would do. She didn't even hear the noise at the small balcony, though small, she was oblivious to the eyes that watched her.

"Gambit t'ink de place need betta' alarms."

The voice scared Kitty as she jumped in the air, her phasing enacting as she stood in the middle of her bed, her legs down through the mattress. She looked over to see one of the new X-men from a few days ago at her window. It was the seemingly quiet one none had seen on entering the room. He crouched back on his heels, his knees sticking out as he perched in place. He still had his trench coat, but the ripped jeans and band shirt had been replaced with fighting uniform, topped off with fighter boots.

Gambit, Kitty figured he was called as she remembered Cyclops's weak introduction and the man's reference to himself in the third person, stepped inside her room. As he walked through he eyed the girls' room, but stopped to speak to Kitty.

"Remy's sorry he scared y', chere" He sketched a bow to her. "Jus' check'n de systems. Dey be 'n desp'rate need o' work."

"Kitty," she offered her name stepping forward, phasing out of the bed. She reached and shook his hand.

"au revoir, kit" he nodded and left her room.

Gambit he looked over his shoulder to grin at the younger girl when he opened the door, unaware that the handle had turned before he touched it as well. In walked Rogue and straight into him, both knocked over.

"Ah," Rogue grunted, hitting her head against the man's headgear and falling on her ass. Gambit, more agile, maintained his balance and looked down at the girl, offering a hand to help her up.

Rogue looked up to see who she'd run into and only saw the unusual eyes that peered down at her. Struck, she just looked not thinking anything of getting up, just shocked by what she saw, not that she could read anything in the black-red eyes.

"Ah-I'm sorry," she stumbled getting to her feet, not ignoring his hand, but not aware of it.

" es nothin'" the man told her. "Gambit was 'n y' room."

"Why _were _you in there?" she asked him after a second, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Secur'ty?" he asked if it were a plausible excuse, teasing her because it was the truth.

"Sure," she replied skeptically, stepping past him to get into talk to Kitty, she was more concerned with what had just happened downstairs than strange men in her room with Kitty.

She walked in shutting the door behind her, unaware if the curious looking man still stood there, though he had read her brush off as she stepped inside and continued on his scan of the systems. Kitty was sitting on her bed, stunned, and her mouth hanging slightly open.

"Did you see those eyes?" Kitty asked Rogue seeing her enter, and having witnessed the run-in.

"Yeh, But—" Rogue tried to tell her but Kitty grinned at her.

"Guess what happened? Peter…"And Kitty launched into her latest story about her own run-in with a hottie, telling Rogue of what Peter said and wondering what she thought.

"But, shug," Rogue cut it, "listen. I over heard some talkin'," Rogue accent strong as she tried to talk over Kitty, "we need to be on form tomorrah."

Rogue had been beating the shit out of the punching bag when Logan had warned her to lighten up, that they were being watched. Training as junior members was going to be hard, and there was no room for major faults, like attitude. In addition, certain things had to be met, like piloting and navigating, hand-to-hand, analytical solving, etc. Training was going to step up tomorrow for those that had stayed.

"It's time to get serious." Rogue told her.

"Right." Kitty set aside her journal. "No more Peter-stalking?"

Rogue laughed. "Only on downtime."

"Can you go close that window, please?" Kitty eyed Gambit's entrance; with the openness she felt a draft. Turning back to her piloting book, she focused her attention.

"What was with our visitor?" Rogue laughed as she shut the window. The man had been unexpected and so had Kitty's story. Both laughed and couldn't wait to tell it over to Jubilee later.

The training did intensify in the following week and Rogue felt inadequate. She could do everything that was asked of her, but something was still holding her back. The Professor's therapy did little to help her, though she played along. She was back in her old s_leepless _rut. After her latest session, she tried her hardest to maintain her cover, quickly heading to the Gym to work out her frustrations.

Her head down she mumbled to herself, complaining and fighting with herself. Once again, she ran head long into trouble as she opened the door. Pushing the door open, she caught something in her peripheral vision and yanked her head up, remembering her last run-in when she was distracted. The man, the same man, jumped back, this time prepared as well.

"Gambit meets de _fille_ ag'in, non?" he laughed seeing her, a crooked grin playing at his smug face.

"Sure, right, whateva," She brushed passed him. Not feeling like talking to anyone.

Not even waiting to see if he left, she yanked off her gloves and tossed them to their usual waiting place. She stretched out her arms and legs, running her hands down her bare arms, smiling bitterly at the thought.

Gambit watched the girl, the young woman in her own world as she warmed up her muscles for a work out. While his was over, he stayed to watch her for a moment. He hadn't seen anyone so displaced in the mansion, so angry. Especially since the one other time he'd seen this girl she was distracted, yes, but not livid as she was now. He saw her muscles hard under her razorback top, allowing her shoulder blades freedom, and the way her defined abs topped the leggings she had on. She knew her body, how to work off, and she showed it off.

"No name, chere?" He stopped in front of her as she was straightening the superior boxing bag.

"It's Rogue," She shot him a negligent gaze before decking the bag, more than hinting she was going on with her routine.

"Codename?" he guessed.

"It's all just Rogue." She tried to ignore him, but he seemed amused at her irritation.

"Gambit jus' Gambit den," he grinned, implying he wouldn't tell her his real name either.

"Fine," she danced to the side so she could continue and ignore him, but he caught the bag.

"Why's de Rogue bleed'n," he reached for her shoulder, and she yanked it out of his reach.

"Look Cajun," she snarled at him, also giving away that she knew he was as southern as she was, "you can't go touchin' whom ever you feel like 'round here."

"Touchin' off limits?" he grinned. "Gambit t'ink y' like t' give off de signals."

"I can show, you can't touch." She smiled sickeningly sweet at him. " 'less you like comas?"

"Gambit likes de challenge."

"Well, you've been warned." She pummeled the bag, tying to focus on that rather than the man messing with her.

"Y' hold'n back, chere." He told her rather than asked, but left it at that and walked out.

Gambit knew that she was holding back from what he saw, but also from what he had heard and read about this girl. He, like the rest of the newer acquisitions to the X-team, had been given the rundown on the former students. This one, Rogue, as she insisted on being called, he knew had the ability to absorb through touch. But he also knew that she had more powers. The dossier hadn't really been clear about the hows and whys, but Gambit had thought there was more to her. When he saw her coming in at the end of his work out, it had seemed like a beautiful distraction. But she lacked the control over her powers—any of them. Gambit now knew there was more.

He shrugged, he had nothing better to do in the mean time.

Rogue couldn't believe the nerve of the new member, Gambit. She scoffed at the name, the arrogance of it, but let it drop as soon as she realized the closeness to her own name. Then she began to wonder what his real name was.

She shook her head, whatever it was, he had no right to touch her. If he had touched her skin, or her blood? Good lord she didn't know what would have happened. She didn't even know what his mutation was, who knows what would have happened.

_Who cares that he has hypnotic charm? _She mumbled to herself in her head. _Or the most interesting eyes I've ever seen._

She gave up on the punching bag and went to the treadmill, thinking a run would help forget what happened. It wasn't Gambit she was trying to forget, which proved difficult, but the anger she felt from her problems with her X-men training. She wasn't using her full ability she knew it, in power-sense, or mental ability. She was getting nervous as the senior members like Scott and Storm began to ride her more and expect more. She felt like she was falling short. And falling to her old back up, she came to beat herself up and exorcise her frustrations.

Bobby was doing great and she knew she shouldn't compare her own progress with his, but it was difficult. The worst part was that he was horribly nice about it all, wanting to help her and she kept pushing him away. Kitty and Jubes were doing well, but neither had the same pressure that she had from Logan. John and Peter fluctuated in how they did, but that was to be expected. Betsy was good under pressure and only needed the motivation…of a certain winged man. But Rogue was holding Rogue back. _Dammit_, she thought to herself. Maybe she was being stupid.

No, she was stupid she decided.

Finding the Treadmill falling short of her expectations, she decided for a run outside, far, far away. She knew she should let someone know she was going out, but wasn't in the mood for neither company nor conversations. She wiped her shoulder with a towel, padding the bloody scrape from her own nails digging into her due to her frustrations. She left the room.

"Good Psy," Cyclops told Betsy over the microphone. He pointed out Kitty to Jean from the control room where all the X-men watched the Junior members work as a team together.

"Easy Jubilee, The room isn't that big," Scott warned the younger girl from to big of actions.

"Gentle on the civilians, Pyro," Storm warned John to not attack the simulation crowd or to force them on to safety too strongly. "Be forceful, not frightening."

Storm and Cyclops made the general comments, not too many, but enough for the players to improve their game some for the test. The rest of the X-men watched, perhaps making a comment of two to Scott or Storm for improvement. Warren kept an eye on Besty, but said very little, as the girl was aware of his presence. Beast watched with more of an analytical eye, and for his own purposes, he was amused. Logan grunted when he saw one make a combat error that they should have known better, but he didn't say anything. Gambit watched but was less interested. It was like watching a movie and he would have preferred to be in on the action himself. Jean stood behind Scott with her hand on his shoulder, smirking every time Logan huffed, and pointing out the progress and telling him to give more encouragement.

"Stronger Iceman."

"Rogue!" Cyclops bellowed, not for the first time, nor the last he feared. "Pay attention!"

"Break!" he called wearily. He tried to keep his frustrations in tact, but was growing irritated and developing a headache. "Up here."

Everyone piled into the room, panting or stretching, Peter dropping his metal armor. Bobby felt plenty cool, and sprayed find mist over at Kitty, who shrieked. Rogue straightened her gloves, knowing what was coming and tried to stay in line. Jubilee reached over and rubbed on her shoulder, the spandex-like material making a funny noise.

"Okay," Scott started off, "Some things are better. Some. Are. Not."

"We are only being constructive," Storm reminded them, but moreover, Scott.

"Right," he continued. "So, take what we say, and use it.

"Iceman, very good, keep it up." Many rolled their eyes at the pet status Cyclops looked on Bobby.

"Pyro, Tone it down, this isn't a video game where you can blow everything up. I know you have the energy, but calm down."

"Colossus, Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Try to use more brain than brawn, but good on the cool, you're getting better. Maybe you could give John a lesson." He shot a look back to John.

"Rogue." He said with a pause. Obviously fighting with himself on what to say. Deciding not to embarrass her in front of her friends, he moved on.

He continued on with the rest, happy with Kitty today. Reminding Jubilee to use more control, and he let Betsy go with a well done, as she was the last one and he was tired. He dismissed them, holding Rogue back.

Rogue was already red from his lack of tact, saying her name in fury, then ignoring her. Not only had he made a fool of her in front of her friends, but the rest of the X-men as well, more of which to follow. Bobby shot her look and an encouraging smile as he left, and the rest tried not to make eye contact, one or two giving her hand a squeeze as they left. They knew what was in store as much as she did.

The rest of the X-men still stood in their same places, witness to the lashing Rogue was about to receive. Jean looked grave, Storm appeared in disagreement with Cyclops but maintaining neutrality for the sake of the team and leader, and the rest looked in bafflement why they were still there. Rogue shot Logan a look, fighting the desperation she felt, but held a poker face. Logan looked on at Jean and Scott, seeming to be thinking something else. Rogue couldn't really blame him, they hadn't been as close lately, so why should he stand up for her.

"Rogue," Scott tried to say calmly and rationally. "This isn't the first time you've been held back from the group."

She knew he wasn't really asking a question, but his tone suggested it. Something was fighting in her, and she just answered in her head. _Guess not._

"Something just isn't right."

_Ya think?_

"Your progress isn't running as smooth as we'd like."

_As you'd like? What about me?_

"Everyone has ups and downs, but you're too much of a wild card right now."

Logan grunted, holding back laughter. If it were up to Cyclops even more than it already was, he would have no wildness at all in his ranks.

_Riiight. _Rogue resisted pointing out Logan and asking about his validity in the wildcard department.

"What do you think we should do?"

Rogue wasn't sure if he was being rhetorical or not, but she figured he was. She continued fighting what she really wanted to say. _Maybe get off my back. Or criticize someone else for a change._

"We feel," Cyclops gestured to the rest of the X-men.

_Yeah right 'we', You Scott. _

"—That to improve, you must deal with your extra powers. You must stop fighting them and use them. Control them or they will control you."

"We all loved Carol too, but, its time to move on. She would—"

"What!" Rogue let out her inner monologue, furious that Cyclops was going to intrude on her personal pain and suffrage, moreover lecture her on what happened and should happen. "That's so easy to say, isn't it? Maybe if I just had her powers it'd be okay, but I have Carol in my head!"

"Rogue," Scott tried to tone her down with a subduing voice.

"No, don't shush me! I haven't said much these weeks while you rip me apart, now in front of everyone, but you think it's easy? I'm tryin' to be difficult?

"No, you don't right? You don't think. Only about your team. What about the people in your team? Fine, you know what, you saw what happened, or the Professor told you. But didja ask, did you care?"

"Rogue," Jean took a severe tone, "We have always been here. We have always asked after you."

"You've been pushing me away since I got back," Logan took Jean's side.

"Yeh, I wasn't ready. And y'all pushin me isn't helpin! Let's watch you kill your best friend and see how it goes for you!"

Storm said very little, she wanted to help Rogue out, but knew that this needed to come out. Scott had gone about it very poorly, but the sore subject needed to be straightened. She shot her friend Remy a look, knowing that this isn't what he signed up for. She hadn't warned him about stuff like this when she'd recruited him. Gambit just watched, shuffling his cards, blending into the background like usual…when he cared.

"Rogue, we are going to have to suspend your entry until this is resolved—"

"Fine," Rogue didn't even let him finish. She ripped the X patch off her jacket and slammed it down on the table, making the legs creak. She walked out while they were still stunned by her immature display. She knew she was being childish, but it was an intensely sensitive issue that they were manhandling she felt.

She saw some of the others as she was walking quickly through the house, but managed to avoid them. Bobby looked over to see her and then she was gone. Hopping off the couch, he figured she went up to the roof, and followed.

Back in the Conference room. Everyone sat stunned and quiet for a minute. Scott broke it. "That went well."

Gambit looked up from his pastime and looked at the strange man as if he were wearing clown glasses over his goggles. He wasn't sure if Cyclops was being sarcastic, or referred to the rest of the training session. He figured the latter. The man didn't know sarcasm.

Logan grunted a response, which Scott turned to him. "Any better ideas?"

"Hey, just because the kid let loose on you doesn't mean—"

"_The kid_ was out of line—"

"Maybe you can't control everything—"

"I think we've established that 'the kid' is no longer a kid," Beast butted in. "Like any young woman she is just trying to figure out who she is. On top of a grueling schedule."

"You sound like Jean," Warren yawned.

"But the rest of them have the same issues as well." Scott pointed out. "Youth, training, X-men, etc. and they all have their own trauma."

"That's a laugh." Logan snarled. "So are we gonna separate everyone into categories now?"

"I'm just saying that they all needed to be treated the same." Scott tried to ignore Logan.

"But they can't," Storm spoke up. "I believe Logan is saying that everyone is in fact different."

"They are not the same…" Jean spoke more to herself, as if trailing an idea.

"Everyone else is managing," Cyclops continued, "just fine."

"It don' seem t' Gambit' dat y' treat dem all de same, _mon ami_" Gambit threw in there. He really liked to be the Devil's advocate, but saw it that way just the same.

"Excuse me?" Cyclops turned to the cocky man in the back.

Gambit shrugged.

"Iceman?" Logan suggested Cyclops pet.

"What about him?"

"It appears that you favor him," Warren now find the argument interesting.

"And it appears you favor Psylocke." Gambit said carefully, avoiding his accent, just trying to stir the pot of trouble more. He was bored.

Strong voices broke out in argument, not yelling but arguing still. Cyclops, trying to maintain leadership finally, raised his voice. "Enough!"

"As we are all on edge, and not getting anywhere, we will reconvene in the morning. Tempers better be siphoned by then. Dismissed."

He raised an eyebrow when they all just sat there staring at him. He turned to Jean after a minute as the walked on out. He heaved a weighty sigh.

On the roof, Rogue watched the sun set, ignoring the sun blinding her. She knew it would have no effect. The invulnerability she had taken/received from Carol made her immune. But it did create a blackness in her vision and she welcomed it for a bit. She knew Cyclops was right, that she needed to use her other powers to advance, but….but….she didn't know.

As it was, she avoided anything to do with them in front of other people. Or at least she tried. She stared at the sun right now, using the invulnerability, but she wouldn't use it other times. Her excessive strength came out when she was mad, but the rest of the time she kept it back. Scott had yelled at her for nearly getting a teammate killed in simulation because she could have done more, stopped the would-be killer by simply using that extra power she had. Scott had stopped Iceman from getting 'killed' and the physical pain he would have felt from getting blasted.

"Hey," she heard a voice behind her.

"I don't want company, Drake." She told him flat-out.

"When you're ready then." He simply told her before leaving.

When she heard the door shut, she kicked at the rocks and pebbles on the floor of the roof. 'When she was ready'. That's what everyone wanted. Push push push. They all claimed to wait, but everyone wanted her fixed right now. It was obvious. If they were really willing to wait, it would never be an issue. She wouldn't have people asking her every other day for confidence. Or lectures, via Scott.

"No, _thank you._" She hissed forcefully when she heard the door opening again, the sky long dark now, figuring Bobby worked up the nerve to brave her, or someone else, Jubes, Kitty, whoever wanted to see if she was all right.

"_Pardon,_ _petit_, din' know de roof was taken."

"It is." She said with out turning around.

"Oh? De Rogue own de roof, eh?"

"It's Rogue, not _the _Rogue." She huffed at him.

"_Je sais, _Gambit t'inks it funny. Roguey don'?"

_Whatever._ Rogue decided to just ignore him. She wasn't going to leave just he came up. He could blend into the background when she was getting her ass chewed, so he could now too. She liked the peace that the location brought, above everything and far away from everyone else. But she couldn't just let her mind wander, nor could she think with that distractive noise…

"Could you stop?" Rogue looked over at the Cajun shuffling his cards around.

"Moi?" he looked over at her from across the roof.

She just glared at him as he flicked the cards off the roof. She walked over to see the mess he was making below, but found no cards. "What's your power?"

He demonstrated that he filled the card with just a trace of energy as it glowed crimson, he flicked it from him and it smoked and ash dropped from its place in air. He chose another card, filled it with more energy and flipped it far away and it blew up with a louder bang and display.

"Fill dem wit' kinetic energy," he told her offhand, as if it were nothing. "Gambit also posses de empathy and know how y' feel."

He laughed at her when she rolled her eyes and stomped away from him. But followed after, finding her temper entertaining. "Y' don' act like an X-men, why should dey treat y' like one?"

Rogue whipped around to see him standing right behind her, in front of her. He had a crooked grin tugging at his lips, and she couldn't tell if he was serious or not. Her green eyes set on his red and black eyes. She looked away, dropping her glare. Maybe he had a point, she considered, but she was still wounded over what had happened.

"What would you know about it?" she mumbled gloomily and turned back around, leaning over the rafter.

"Don' seem like a good way t' 'member y' friend," His tone was informal in his eternal laidback way, "dyin' in vain an' all dat."

Rogue stopped from her sulking and heard him but was caught in new thoughts and feelings. Was she really letting Carol die all over again by not using her powers. Was it a gift, the rest of Carol that she and everyone else had left? Instead of being ashamed, maybe Rogue could honor her memory by using her powers. She could see the girl in herself, her chopped off hair and Carol's bold personality, but she could fulfill the girl's dream of being an X-man. It is what Rogue wanted too, but she had been avoiding the pain and suffering that her power brought about. Maybe now she should use the rest. Like everyone was trying to push her to do.

She looked over at Gambit, not really seeing him, but appreciating what he said. She knew that someone had said something to her, and she thanked him before initiating her powers, and taking her first departure into flight. Biting her lip at the nervousness she felt, hovering, but grabbing the reins and taking control, she flew off wildly.

Gambit watched her timidly begin and then accelerated as she learned quickly how to control her 'new' power. He was impressed that she had taken what he said constructively but was slightly puzzled. Hadn't anyone said as much before? Probably not he figured. They seemed like the beating around the bush type to him. Maybe the girl needed directness. He smiled to himself as he left the roof. _Chere has de most beautiful smile when she lets go._

Elsewhere, Cyclops was going over the schedule with some of the recruits when they heard the screaming and carrying on, opening the patio door in the rec room and onto the porch, all were shocked to see Rogue using her powers, flying by them. Smug Scott continued on as he told Iceman to form a team for a mystery faux-mission.

Bobby nodded, tossing a look to his superior, but grinning as he turned back to watch Rogue. Much like everyone else, and he suspected Cyclops, who walked away, he was proud of Rogue that she had taken what was said and was able to apply it.

When Rogue landed back on the roof, her hair was a mess and wind blown. But she felt great. It felt good to use something she had been holding back. To remember Carol without crying or beating something up. To develop the new Rogue she'd become.

Everyone bust through the door after a few peaceful seconds. Rogue was overwhelmed but smiled. Kitty ran up to hug her, carefully throwing her arms around the girls waist and avoiding her bare upper arms. Rogue set her gloved hands on the girl and gently pushed her off after her congratulations.

"Thanks," she tried to push everyone back to the house, not liking them up on her roof, her private place. "I'll tell you later, after dinner I'm starvin'!"

"Glad you could listen to Scott," Bobby told her as they ran down the steps.

Rogue stopped. "It wasn't Cyclops." She grimaced.

"What?" Bobby asked stopping himself, watching Rogue trail after John and Jubilee.

Bobby followed after his friends, trying to brush off what she'd said. But he wondered what had changed her mind, or affected her if it was not Cyclops. Putting it out of his mind, he hoped things would now get better for her. Not just for Rogue, but between them as well. Maybe it was the first step in getting her other power under control. Touch.

At supper, Rogue glossed over the details, just telling her friends that she wasn't going to let it hold her back anymore, and she'd keep Carol alive in this way. They seemed happy enough with her answer, because she looked happy enough as well. Peter joked that now he had competition in the strength department, and John said he'd take bets on an arm wrestling contest. It felt good to Rogue to laugh again, feeling free for once. But she also knew it would be short lived. Her other power still lurked underneath.

The next day, stretched out on the lawn, Rogue pulled a thread away from her cut off shorts, she fell back on to her blanket and smiled at the sun. Cyclops had given the team a few hours off while he, Jean, Storm and some others went after a new student. The kid was able transform into liquid, but still young. So Xavier had sent some X-men to recruit the child for the school, introduce him or her to a new world. Storm had hinted at bringing one of the new members, such as Kitty or John, but Scott had refused.

But Rogue was glad to have the precious little time off. Later would be another matter, so she took the time were she could. Humming to herself, wishing Jubilee hadn't broken the last walkmen, cd player, and ipod in the house. She barely noticed that her sun had been blocked out, but sat up in a start seeing someone above her.

"Hey," she smiled sheepishly, knowing she had been singing to herself. She tried to blow it off. "Um, thanks for the other night."

"It was nothin', chere," Gambit grinned at her, and she figured he was eyeing her behind those dark sunglasses. "Gambit jus' wanted t' know who was rockin' out in de courtyard."

He laughed when she turned red. "De _belle fille_'s shy? De Rogue? Non."

"Well, I am an immature fool, remember?" she remembered what a brat she'd been.

He reached over to pull the grass from her hair, and she paused a moment as he came closer. She gazed into the dark glasses, trying to see his eyes, thinking she did, but pulled back when she heard a noise behind her. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Bobby and John walking up. She quickly moved to the side, away from her fellow X-man.

"Hey Rogue," John called laughing. "Want to grab a burger?"

Rogue smiled, but shot a look to Bobby, who looked funny for a split second, but it was gone in a flash. He smiled warmly at her. "Jake's?"

Despite them taunting her with greasy food she declined. John had turned to ask the Cajun something but found him not there. Bobby looked behind him as well. "That guy…"

"What?" Rogue asked, unsure of her friend's tone.

"I don't trust him."

"Neither does Cyclops, that's why you don't," John laughed at Bobby, calling him Teacher's pet.

"Well, Scott's a good leader, I trust him—"

"Ooo, Scott?" Rogue joined John in teasing.

"Ah, Jean might get jealous."

"Yeh, shut up." Bobby didn't take them too seriously and headed out, going for food like he planned.

John gave Rogue a look over. "Nice shorts," he told her giving her a fake leer and a suggestive gesture before he turned and ran to catch up to his other friend. Rogue gave him a slight push with her sandaled foot, sending him faster than he wanted.

At the burger joint, Bobby brought up the newer X-men casually. "Worthington's a riot. Chasing after Betsy all subtle-like."

"Yeh, he's not bad when she's not around either. Not that much older than us." John agreed.

"Neither is Gambit." Bobby mentioned.

"But I guess Scott and Jean aren't really all that old either." John kept up on that line, missing the transition. "Sure act like it though. Logan's older I bet. Never guess about him. Or Beast."

"Or Storm."

"Yeh, she's beautiful though." John grinned a silly grin.

"She was turned into a kid once." Bobby told him as he bit into his burger. "Ever hear 'bout that?"

"Oh yeah," John grabbed some fries. "That's how that Cajun came around, heh, 'Gumbo' Wolverine calls him."

"What?" Bobby asked.

"Gumbo? Like the food?" John laughed.

"No, I mean how Storm met him?"

"Oh yeah," John talked with his mouth full. "He met her at that time, when the Shadowking changed her. She recommended that Cyclops recruit him, gave him all sorts of reasons."

"How do you know all this?" Bobby looked at him skeptically.

"I'm nosy?" John slit his eyes, shooting for a mischievous and sly look.

"Iiii," John's voice played as he took his burger and handled it under the table, burning it to extra-well-done, "was in Cyclops office for a conference a few weeks or months ago, and saw the papers when he left to take care of something."

"All his history?" Bobby asked carefully.

"Nah," John continued eating, "Just 'the good parts' if ya know what I mean. I mean the guy obviously has a history, but I don't think Storm wanted to let all the dirty details out. But apparently, like Storm, he's a master thief."

"Hence the security checks." Bobby nodded.

"Yeh," John stopped eating. "But why do you care?"

"Uh," Bobby tried to shrug it off. "No reason. Just curious I guess."

"Riight." John rolled his eyes. "So what's with this fake mission Cyke has going on?"

Bobby grinned. "You'll just have to see."

The mission Cyclops had recruited Iceman to team was more involved than Bobby first thought. Taking it entirely seriously, he wanted to have the best and most useful members onboard. However, sometimes those two qualities didn't mesh. In all truth, he didn't want Pyro on board, even though he was his best friend, because he was hotheaded. He didn't want Betsy because she was flaky, but her progress was phenomenal. Kitty had been doing well, but had come to a roadblock, one she didn't phase through so easily. He laughed when he came up with that joke. But he figured the mission might be the thing to get her going again. Peter was doing well too, but with Peter's strength, that canceled out Rogue's. So he'd have to choose between them. Rogue had other usefulness as well, but she could be wild as well. Some days they weren't sure which Rogue they were going to get still, even though with her development back on track, she was doing just as well as anyone else. He considered the rest, but found other problems, like Jubilee's youth interfering.

The actual mission he had no real idea about. He was given a brief hint that it would involve a new location, something they were probably not used to. In the end he chose three people to accompany him. He picked Psylocke for her abilities beyond her mutant talents, Rogue for her flight and strength, and Pyro for his offense power. John's flames also made a nice balance to Bobby's own ice. He wasn't thrilled with his choices, but he tried to think it out. He would have preferred to take everyone, for the vast power selection, but knew he couldn't. He let everyone know before their next danger room session, warning that changes could come.

"Good Pyro," Cyclops called from the control room. This time he was alone in watching them. Storm would be dropping by, but also had a class to teach.

Scott was pleased to see John controlling his powers more. The chance at a mission had really sharpened him up. He hoped it would do the same with the rest. Jubilee also seemed to be dropping her childishness when in x-man mode, which pleased Scott. He knew they were all great members, just young. It was good to see all the work paying off. He just wanted them to be the best they could. He was only hard on them because he knew what was out there. Why should he be easy on them when no one else would? Would Magneto?

"Move on, Kitty," He warned the girl not to spend so much time on one foe.

"Rogue, don't forget about your other powers." He told the girl in frustration. She was using her strength and flight too much, and not using her touch ability at all.

"Iceman, try something else," Cyclops recommended a new approach if the first wasn't working.

After awhile, he looked over at the clock and knew Storm wasn't coming. The time she had between classes was already over and she was into second period by now. As Scott turned back around, he heard the door opened and grinned, thinking it was Jean.

"Almost done, Babe."

"Right, Honeycakes," A gruff voice responded.

"Wolverine." Cyclops greeted the man without even turning around, his sarcastic tone hiding his slight embarrassment.

"Ororo sent me in her place. Told her I couldn't but she turned her eyes white…can't argue with that."

"We're about done. Another ten minutes or so."

"Piotr is being too soft now," Logan looked over Scott's shoulder, being deliberately rude.

"And he'll be too hard after I tell him that. He's working on it. Balance."

Logan made various grunts and smirks during the rest of the time, pointing a couple things out to Scott. Maybe mentioning their progress in hand-to-hand. He was being fairly constructive, despite irritating Cyclops at the same time. When Cyclops called them out of the session and up to the booth, Logan hung back in the corner, waiting to see how the leader would stick his foot in his mouth this time.

"Okay," Cyclops started, "everyone is doing well, but we need to fine tune. There is a precise balance that we are always striving for. You must use you powers with an equal amount of logic and skill as well.

"It is not just about strength," he shot a distinct look at Rogue.

"Or power," he turned to Bobby.

"Sometimes we must use what we know too. If you're having a problem, try switching with someone." He looked over to Colossus and Kitty.

"It isn't just about defeating with your power and abilities, but teamwork as well. Now that we are getting you guys toned, you must be able to come together."

He harped on for a bit more, but Logan smugly laughed to himself to see that everyone had lost interest. They were real X-men after all. One-eye bored them too. Logan cleared his throat loudly, alerting everyone he was there as well as moving Cyclops on. He finally finished up and left them to their own discussion. Logan lounged in his chair, not rushing to get up.

"Cyclops is right, ya know," Bobby spoke up. "We have to prove we can mesh."

"Well, we do," Kitty pointed out. "We all hang out and stuff."

"In combat." Bobby added.

"We're getting there," John shrugged.

"Well, I've rethought the mission." Iceman took Cyclops commanding tone. It got everyone's attention.

Logan's ears perked up at that as well, but gave no sign. He thought Bobby was a little too hot to be the next Cyclops. On occasion. Most of the time he was okay.

"Psy, Peter, Kit."

"What?" John and Rogue both stood up at the same time.

"Look, its just best for the team." He held his hands up. "Dismissed."

"_OK_—" Everyone started talking at once. "First off—" "Excuse me?" "What!"

"I think they're sayin' yer not in charge kid." Logan spoke up.

"Okay," Bobby stumbled, trying to rein them in again. "The only reason I'm acting as head is because Scott, Cyclops, asked me to gather a team for a mission."

"You acting as head and all big and important stops us becoming a team." Jubilee told him flat out.

"It's only—"

"Why are we off?" John and Rogue exchanged looks, settling a glare on their friend.

"Well, John, you need some finesse."

"Finesse?" John was irritated, but knew flying off the handle would only prove Bobby's point. So he held his anger in tact. "Right. Fine."

Bobby looked uncertain at his friend, but turned to his other. He stuttered a bit before selecting not to say anything. Rogue looked wide-eyed, waiting for an answer. "Well?"

"Scott's right, you need to control all your powers, not the ones you feel like dealing with."

Everyone got quiet. Bobby had spoken the truth but lacked the tact that Cyclops had. Rogue was just as furious as John, but didn't want to prove Iceman right by flying off the handle like expected.

"Okay." She said sweetly, forcing a smile at him. "I'll let you plan your mission, then." She stood up and walked carefully out.

After another minute or so, the rest not involved in said-mission also decided to leave, without waiting for another 'dismissal' or even saying anything. Logan took his opportunity as soon as Bobby cleared his throat and went on with whatever he had to say. Logan knew what the mission was, but knew Bobby couldn't prepare them without knowing what was involved. So, avoiding the inspirational speech, Logan left.

He caught the trail end of the conversations of those leaving but ignored the idle gossip. Like he cared what John had said and what he had meant the other night at the club. If he were Scott he might care if Kitty and Piotr were actually a couple or not yet, but as just another member, he had minor, very minor, interest in love lives. Most especially if and where Warren and Betsy were concerned. He was going to head out for the night, beginning a good night of drinking early, but felt the need to stop by his 'office' and straighten some things out.

He was thinking about the waitress at the bar while he was walking over. He also knew it would piss off Cyclops to know he was leaving early and for the night. The prick would have some sort of spiel about the team and the everything coming up, and training just as hard as usual, blah effin' blah. So, Logan was going to double check that all his junk was straight for the night and ready for an early start tomorrow.

As he walked up he heard the all too familiar noise of someone beating the shit out of the equipment. He hoped for one of the younger kids, keen on practice, but by the grunts and the force behind it, he knew who it was, and what she was doing. Couldn't really blame her after all that.

"Rogue." He said as he walked in, seeing her at her favorite place, the punching bag. "You should really try some cross training."

"Oh, I have." Rogue gestured, craning her neck at the broken treadmill. "The real thing's better anyways."

"Dammit." He grunted himself to see that she had broken the treadmill. Well, maybe not her, someone had. He would worry about it later.

"Eh," Logan waved his hand at it, walking over to her, "Don't let mini-Cyke drag you down."

She hit the bag harder at that, the chains groaning. "Guess he's right."

"Come off it," Logan tapped at the other bag, for lightweights, nearby. "He's just trying to secure his place on the team. It's not about you."

"I'd believe you if he weren't always followin' me around with big sad puppy dog eyes."

"So you think he's doin' it to get back at you?" Wolverine asked her skeptically.

"No." she continued beating the bloody hell out of the bag, tossing in a flying kick. "I think that I'm broken and will never be on the team."

She stopped and looked right at him, daring him to fight with her. He shrugged, and she picked her routine back up. "What do you want me to say?"

"Maybe if you think I'm wrong or right." She huffed. "Give a shit, ya know?"

"Last time I did that I nearly got my head handed to me."

"Yeh?" she tossed a cynical look his way. "Maybe you deserved it."

"Like now?"

"What?"

"C'mon," he taunted her, catching the swinging bag and making her stop. "You've wanted to beat the shit outta me since I got back. Let's go."

He stepped back and over to some space and mats, gesturing her towards him, showing he was ready. She stood with her hands on her hips, eyeing him suspiciously. He stood up from his slight crouch. "You mean to tell me you haven't want to come at me with all your force?"

"Didn't say that, did I?" she was getting cocky and he knew he had her.

She had been holding back on the very first day he had been back because she hadn't wanted to use her other powers. She was afraid of them. Now that it wasn't the case, she really could come show him how she felt. And be able to give him a decent fight for a change. Even in her practices lately she held back, saving the good stuff for the simulations and danger room. It was also why Cyclops was mad at her. That she was now using her strength and flight more than her touch. He didn't know that she was switching between the two, always having something to fear.

"So?" Wolverine waited for her, not at all in fighting stance, but tapping his foot impatiently.

"Why should I when you're the one achin' for a fight?"

"Ah, fine if yer gonna deny it some more and play the martyr…" he grabbed his jacket from the side. "I've got better things to do."

He was walking out the door, not knowing whether or not she was truly tempted by his partly goading her and partly serious. But when he heard the air shifting, that rustling sound, he knew better. Logan turned around in a spin, crouching down and seeing the woman fly at him, so the sparring began.

Rogue had been pissed off, and he had found the right thing to say. She leapt up, before she was even really aware, and flew straight for him. When he ducked she landed behind him and swung her leg at him. He caught it tossing it back at her. But she used the force and momentum to her advantage and flew up again as he flipped her. When she landed she abandoned the flight tactic and stuck with her force on the ground, dancing a fighter's step.

Logan grinned, he was fighter and loved it. It was a change to have someone really pissed trying to hurt him, even if she really did care for him, and really give him a good fight. He dodged her swings, not shooting back quite yet. He weaved in and out against her, making mental notes as to how she could really improve. But finally got tired of the games.

He let a metal claw out and reached over and cut her uniform, stabbing through the spandex at her the side of her waist. And ripping out so her side was exposed. That pissed her off and he laughed. He did it again with her opposite shoulder.

"Better get you that jacket back," he mocked her more, "or you'll be stripped 'fore too long."

She growled at him and brought her position back, taking a few seconds to reevaluate him. She dropped backwards, kicking a leg to the side, surprising him as she took a swing at his knee cap. He rolled to the side with the force and leapt up on top of her.

"Heh," he snarled happily, "Don't take that strength for granted. Gotta use yer wits too."

Rogue chose not to say anything and instead elevated off the ground, taking her Canadian captor with her. She brought her body upright when he jumped off her, calling her a cheat. So, she came back down, trying to think harder, not work harder. The good thing was, she had the strength just in case.

They circled each other slowly, grinning like fools for their own reasons. Rogue panting hard, and Logan enjoying a different workout for once, but hardly warm. Rogue decided that she could use her touch to win, that would be less strength, but she also didn't really want to touch and absorb him. She could however mess up that 'do of his.

"Wolvie," she laughed for the first time, Logan glaring at and yet grinning with her.

She knew he would be able to dodge whatever she did, so she kept up the act until she had him maneuvered against the wall. She knew that he was a leftie, and most often, though not guaranteed, would jump that way. With the wall to his left, she shot forward; not anticipating he would jump straight up and on to her back as she flew forward and then passed him. Taking the opportunity, he cut her other shoulder out of her uniform, both now exposed.

"You let too much loose, you won't be playin' anymore, shug," she warned him as she flew up to flip him off.

He hung onto her, as he knew she was strong enough to take it, and she laughed and kept it up, flying him out of the room and down the hall, not holding back. He wanted a ride, she would give him one.

The other students made noises of surprise, but neither paid attention. Rogue was still thinking of how to get him, and Logan was trying to anticipate her next move, and the one after. She finally spun as she flew and shook him off, Logan also choosing to jump off at that point, and landed on the stairs. Rogue landed at the bottom looking up.

"I am not charging up those steps to you." She told him cocking a hip.

"Ms. Flight-'n-Spite can't handle the uphill offensive?" he tsked.

"You," she grinned maliciously at him. She took a second to try to access the Logan part of her brain.

Doing her best, she flew up the steps carefully, but not slowly. When he jumped she was focused enough to follow. She grabbed for him and caught his hand in her gloved one, but his claws shot out, scratching more than just her clothes. When she dropped him they descended the steps slowly, eyes glued to each other. Fist to fist they let it out, coming to a draw quickly as Logan slipped his first and third claws around her neck gently pressing the middle one to her neck, Rogue had her hand positioned near his ear, a fist full of hair, and her wrist, open from his cut, millimeters from his skin.

"Draw?" They both asked, Logan beginning to pant a bit.

"I'll let you take it." Rogue said as she let go of him. They both knew she was having a hard time keeping up with him.

Logan brought his claws back in and gave her a mimic uppercut, popping her jaw shut. She bit at him in a fake manner for it. Then working her jaw again. She wiped her face and hands and took a look at the damage.

"Yeh, guess I win." He told her in all his arrogance.

"But you haven't had to work that hard since you've been back, slacker." She called him on his lazy form since Cyclops stepped them up.

"Maybe that you've seen." He brushed her off as they walked back to get their stuff from the workout room.

"Ah, you go get that hooker then." Rogue laughed as she left.

"She's a cocktail waitress!" he called after her jokingly.

Giving up on the bar for the night, Logan was stretched out his muscles. She had given him a good run through, one he hadn't had in a while, she was right. That waitress didn't matter anyway, he had been in jest when he said it just now. She wasn't redheaded. She wasn't even smart. She was just there. And it wasn't good enough right now.

Rogue walked along, trying to smooth her hair back into the ponytail it had fallen out of. She felt good from that, getting her frustrations out. Logan was right, she had wanted to do that for a_ long_ time. Maybe she could talk him into doing it again. There was something about sparing with him that was fun. There was nothing predictable.

"Hey," A voice called her. She knew who it was so kept walking.

"You look like a skunk with your hair pulled back." Bobby jogged and caught up to her. He referred to her white striped bangs pulled back with the rest of her hair.

"You are an ass when you're leader," she smiled just as sweetly at him.

"Right," He knew she was kidding. But was surprised to see that she had let it go already.

She turned and grinned at him, punching her friend lightly in the arm. She then hooked a finger through her hair, pulling her white locks out of the rest of her hair, the framed her face, falling down. "Better?"

"Sure," he shook his head at her, laughing that she had listened to him.

"We're, uh," Bobby spoke again, "leaving at dawn tomorrow, so, eh, I just wanted to tell you."

"Ok."

"You guys will probably have the day easy then."

"Just 'cause y'all are off playin'?" she asked him doubtfully. "I think we'll manage. There'll be something for the rest of us heathens to do."

She started to walk off and he apologized. She turned. "Don't worry 'bout it, hun."

**The accents, I know. But hey, it is difficult. So deal, eh? There is a lot I could say about this chapter. But I won't heh. I am shocked, simply shocked by how fast Gambit got thru to R on the roftop. But that is how it goes. Didn't need to dwell, we all get it, yadda yadda yah. o, btw, sorry this is long, but it didn't seem the right spot to cut out in certain places. **


	4. Missions and Madness

Everyone else had to get up before the crack of dawn as well. Cyclops had thought that maybe the mission should come randomly, like a real one would, but decided to take it slightly easy on them at Jean's suggestion. But, the rest of the teams had to be there at departure too. They had a full day as well. Cyclops loaded the blackbird with the crew and a few X-Men, taking Jean, for analyzing them and reading them, and he also took Angel for another pair of eyes. He wanted to take Storm as 2IC, but knew that someone disciplined needed to stay behind. She had to make sure the rest did what they were supposed to.

Beast was allowed to continue his research, also on call for the younger children of the School, as was Storm. But Storm took the remaining X-men, new and old, and put them to work. She put Wolverine in the Danger room, Gambit at the controls. Jubilee and Rogue she stuck in the conference room with logistical problems, forcing them to think. John she put in with the Professor for a one-on-one session, though brief, high impact. She found other useful things, ones she was sure Scott had never considered, figuring it would be nice to change it up some. After sometime, she figured she would switch it around, John on the mind exercises, Jubilee in mini-session, Rogue on controls, and herself in the room. She created plenty of cross training that could be mixed around for everyone.

"Gambit," she walked into the Control room, "I would like you to work the simulation, and then to check Scott's maintenance class. He will not have time to check their work when he returns."

"Sho' Stormy," he high-tailed it out before she could yell at him for his endearment.

Rogue came in the control room though looking over her shoulder. She kept her thoughts to herself as she asked Storm her questions about the controls. She had never used it on her own, only under supervision.

"If anything wrong were to occur, one would hit this button." Storm pointed to a blue button rimmed in white all the way to the right. "But Logan has agreed to check on you. I have set it up, just maintain what I have done."

"Right." Rogue nodded.

Rogue was very excited to watch the woman's session, and was happy to be given the chance in the control room on her own. Everything went smoothly…until Logan did not show up. If it had just been that, it would have been okay.

"_Chere_ watchin' ova 'Ro?" Gambit's voice cut into Rogue reverie and idol worship watching the goddess in action.

"Uh," she looked around, surprised to see him, she hadn't heard him. "yeh."

"How 'bout some_…_play?" He grinned at her, taking a step forward.

He ignored her nervousness and stepped up to the control panel, flicking switches and turning knobs, in effect ruining Storm's session. Her 'hey!' didn't stop him until he dabbled a bit more, then sat back to watch.

"What did you do?" she asked him nervously, scanning the screen to see Storm. She looked out the window as well.

"Jus' some fun, no harm."

"Right." Rogue didn't sound so sure. "She's gonna kill me."

"Non, dis t'ief be messin' dat up fo' 'Ro." He grinned at her.

"Won't she be mad?" Rogue asked hesitantly, fearing Storm more than the red-eyed rogue making her nervous.

"_Oui_." He laughed. "She needs steppin' up." He snickered.

It didn't take long until the session stopped. Storm went through the routine and came on up. The door thundering open.

"Rogue!"

"Gambit!" she hissed when she saw him, seeing that the thief had messed her session up, not Rogue.

"_Oui_ _Chere_?" he asked innocently.

She shook her head at him. "You finished early and told Logan you'd do his job," she nodded along with him. she set her hands on her hips. "I suppose I should thank you for giving me the easiest session ever."

Rogue looked stunned. Here she was worried that Storm was facing too much, and the bastard had made it easier. She kept quiet, trying to not be in the way, absorb everything and not be mad.

Storm told Rogue to wait there while she found a new person for Rogue to monitor.

"Why did you do that?" Rogue finally asked the thief that lounged, also waiting for their leader to come back.

"Eh?"

"You worried me to death, I thought she was gonna…lightening bolt me to death." Rogue gestured as she spoke exaggeratedly.

"Stormy works too hard." He shrugged.

"Oh." Rogue stopped herself mid-rant that she had working up. She had been prepared to tell him off and what she thought and all that, and found that he wasn't just pulling a prank, but actually being nice. If possible.

"She pushes herself?" Rogue asked to no one really.

"Extremely." He answered her.

"Sorry," she looked down at her feet sheepishly.

"Heh," he laughed. "Fo' what?"

"I thought…" Rogue trailed off. "Just…Never mind."

"Ah, de Rogue is warmin' up t' Remy." He eyed her carefully, though sitting back burning his cards up slowly.

"Remy, eh?" she grinned, knowing he hadn't wanted to give her his name till he was ready.

He made no expression or acknowledgment at that. So she found something else to say. "Bet you go through alotta those cards, wastin' them like that."

"Remy t'inks _chere _much mo' fun when she's mad," He grinned sitting up, setting a card down in front of her.

She looked at it, seeing it was red and leaned back, just as it exploded. It still made her jump. "Fine, that was rude, Swamp Rat."

He snickered at her.

"You just like making trouble, Remy." She stated a fact.

"Lebeau."

She cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Remy Lebeau."

"Alright, You _are_ trouble Remy Lebeau."

Storm returned at that point to see her friend laughing, and Rogue with her hands on her hips. She sent Gambit on to another duty, finding that keeping him busy was hard. She had ushered Jubilee into the danger room, once again, seeing if Rogue knew the controls. Gambit actually messing with them had helped her out and she remembered what they did. Storm said she would return in a few minutes, after finding Logan, and then the two younger women would switch roles.

She wasn't really that mad at Logan, but wished he'd have done what he said. Instead, Gambit had given him the time off while he went and manipulated her round. It was just like Gambit to make trouble, which wasn't really upsetting Storm either, she knew he was like that. But, none the less with all the little annoyances adding up, she wondered how the 'fake' mission was going.

The 'fake' mission turned out to be very real. Warned of a loose mutant, Bobby's team was to find him and recruit him in the mountains where he was taking solace. Given only that, they were dumped into the snow as the blackbird found a different berth. Bobby had had some time to discuss with the rest of his team and they had decided on a course of action. Trying to ignore the wind and snow, he petulantly thought of Pyro and his warm fires for a fleeting second. Psylocke was to search the area with her telepathy. Shadowcat and Colossus waited with Iceman for a moment.

"I'm not getting anything," Psylocke called to them.

"Nothing?" Iceman asked.

"Nothing."

_Shit._

Back at the mansion….

The day had been tiring, as Storm had kept them busy. After several workouts of various forms, Storm turned them on to making lesson plans. Soon they would have to take up occasional teaching positions when the need called for it. Whether they liked it or not, the younger kids looked up to them. As X-men, they would have to be mentors and ideal models. Rogue had a hard time believing that all X-men filled up this position, Logan was for the advanced at least. And some never came near the classrooms.

Jubilee and Rogue sat on a couch flipping through magazines and TV, not really doing anything but relaxing from their day. They laughed at John when he came out geared up to go out. A leather jacket and slacking jeans, he looked like another X-men rebel.

"I'm sure that works for Wolverine, but.." Jubilee teased him.

"No, he's just playing Wolvie to Bobby's Cyke." Rogue told her, trying to hold in her laughter. Logan and Scott were opposite sides of the spectrum most of the time, and Bobby had been acting like their leader, so John had taken up the rebellious role.

He grinned good-naturedly at them, not taking them too seriously. "You coming?"

The two girls looked at each other, then hopped up and ran off to their room to get changed. John sat down flipping through the magazine and the channels, knowing he was in for a wait. But it would be worth it.

Iceman and the team were in for a less pleasant of a time, however. The fugitive mutant was untraceable. Every time they thought they had a catch, he was gone. Iceman hadn't wanted to separate the team, but found it might have to be. He sent Kitty to the East, through the tightly packed trees, shrubs, branches, thorns, and all the shit he knew she could phase through. Peter he sent to the West, into the mountains. Psylocke he sent south, and he took North. He had a psychic network set up, so if needed, one could call to another. His plan was shot to shit, and this was the best he could come up with on the spur.

Kitty phased through the junk without even thinking twice, hurrying along, freezing her ass off. She didn't even know what she was supposed to do if she found the 'renegade.' _I guess call for help_, she thought. _but then it'll take them an age to get here._

"Damn." She said out loud, stopping in the middle of bramble patch, not even knocking the snow off.

"Damn?" a voice asked her. "Why say this?"

She turned around looking around her but not seeing anything. She walked around, phasing through the gigantic trees without a glance. She shook her head, finally deciding she was imaging it.

"_Liebchen_," the voice came again. "Do you need help?"

She stopped walking and her eyes were huge. Staying stock still she didn't know what to do.

"Up here," the voice told her.

She looked up.

In the tree tops above her sat a blue man.

--

When the Mini X-men returned to the mansion much later that night, with one hued German in tow, all were exhausted from the mission and the explanation. Iceman and the rest walked into the commons to find a couple kids hanging around. Most were already away for the night, but a few of the older students were sitting up watching a late show. The worn-out four walked in and fell into some free chairs. Too tired to do much, but too up to go to sleep. They were too tired to be tired. Yet, they drove the rest out.

Actually falling asleep in the chairs after some time, they weren't even aware of not being in their own beds. It wasn't until Rogue, Jubes and Johnny came falling through, laughing and stirring their beat friends. Seeing them, they just laughed even harder.

"What?" Betsy yawned, looking around and seeing that she wasn't "home" in her own bed.

"Nothing," Jubilee giggled as she walked on to the kitchen to get a snack.

"Where have you guys been?" Kitty asked standing up and stretching, much like her namesake.

"Out after a long day." Rogue informed falling down next to her on the couch, bouncing her friend slightly.

"Not as long as ours, I'll bet." Bobby murmured.

"Says you, mate." John heard him, shooting a glare. He let it go as soon as he felt it, remembering he was supposed to be over "it."

"Heh," John laughed to cover his slip. "We worked our collective and individual asses off today. We need a break. Right?"

"Damn straight!" Jubilee walked back in with her mouth full, grooving along. "We danced our asses off too!"

Rogue and John began laughing with her. Bobby stood up. "Right, well, I'm drained and falling into bed."

Rogue watched her friend leave, as did the other weary team members, and exchanged a glance with John and Jubes. They had made their point. With a sly grin, they got up and headed to bed too. In the morning, no one would take it easy on them for a hard previous day.

-

Kitty had her laugh though in the morning when the rest walked into to see the azure demon-like creature hanging upside down from the rafters with a mug of coffee in his hand. Everyone, X-men and wannabes minus a few necessary exceptions at departed teachers, sat down at the huge table to conference on the mission and the new state of things.

"Once again," Cyclops launched in, not waiting for the last few dragging in, namely Logan and Gambit. "We find an addition to our ever-growing family."

Logan barely concealed his snort of derision at the choice word of "family." Rogue coughed, turning her head to the side and sending a knowing glance at him. Someone sent her a box of Kleenex sliding across the table. Cyclops continued.

"This is Kurt Wagner, or AKA Nightcrawler to each of you. Our simulation mission found our new recruit and convinced him to join our team. Well done." His tone offered no congratulations.

"However," He droned on, "Kurt, Nightcrawler that is, was informed of the plan, and needed no convincing. I feel however that we, that is to say, the rest of you, must attempt further on your diplomacy skills whilst also refining the battle skills we have been striving to teach you."

At that point most everyone had slipped in the nodding coma that showed they were awake, but no one was listening. _Blah blah blah, work harder. Blah blah blah, work smarter. Blah blah blah help each other. Blah blah blah think. _Rogue mimicked Scotts voice as she started to imagine him saying different things as he lips flapped.

"_I'm a big prick."_

"_I wax my chest hair in front of the mirror."_

Betsy smothered laughter off to the side.

"_I choose this color because it brings out the flecks of gold in my eyes."_

"_I choose this material because it brings out the shape of Jean's ass."_

At that last one, Rogue felt the hot glare of Jean's steel eyes on her. Biting her lips she shut off that part of her brain. What was she doing in her brain anyway? Rogue asked her self. Very rude that. She should be allowed to think anything she wanted. Whether it be mocking Scott's moronic leader babble, or puking at Bobby's hero-worship, or wondering at Gambit's spiky hair. Gambit? Shit, where did that come from? How did she, more importantly _why_ did she think about him she chewed.

"So, in conclusion," Cyclops finally got around it wrapping it up, "I feel we have collected brilliant string of talent. Don't let me down folks. We've no time for games."

"Saying that, here is the new itinerary for the coming weeks, should everything run smoothly. Any comments or questions, you know where to reach me. I'll see Angel for a moment please." He looked to the winged man, nodding to the sidebar.

The older X-men skipped out, not even grabbing the "schedule" for it never changed. Work work work. The younger ones picked it up, feeling like a part of the exclusive group for a change. Rogue scanned to see what was up first. Training. Right. No surprise.

"Well, I'm all up for dangerroom session," Bobby offered.

"Of course you are," Betsy rolled her eyes. He shrugged.

"I'm headed for a sweat session myself," John got up and headed to the gym, hoping for a spar with Logan. More of a coaching really.

"I need to load up on protein before I do anything," Kitty shrugged. Eyeing Piotr, he got up and murmured some excuses following her.

Rogue stood up, heading for a swim when Bobby stopped her. Not wanting to get drawn into one of his talks, she made an excuse for later, needing a hardcore cardio that didn't involve the sweaty, stinky, Johnny-Logany-sparring weight room. She saw him talking quietly with Jubilee when she left, but let it fly from her mind. She didn't care.

When she was in her room changing, she laughed as she put on her suit. Once, she might have donned an entire body suit out of fright of touching anyone. Now, she didn't care. In the first place, she justified to herself, everyone knew about her powers now, it was their fault if they slipped too, not just her. In the second place, and final she told herself, it didn't matter. She could go buck naked and why should it matter. No one was going to, could touch her. So it didn't really matter is she showed skin or not. That was their problem if they didn't like it.

"I'm touchable." She told herself in the mirror, a mirthless smile playing on her lips. _But it's dealer takes all on that gamble._ Her smile faded.

She left, a towel wrapped around her. As she passed a corridor that led to the classrooms, she could hear laughter and learning in the distance. It didn't seem like that long ago she was doing that. And other things… she stopped that thinking before it got into trouble. She knew she'd just end up thinking about Carol. And Logan leaving her. And Bobby. And Carol. Carol.

Shaking her head free of the mental debris, she found herself at the edge of the indoor pool. It would have been a huge distraction to the students if she swam outside during their recesses and free periods she knew. So she stuck to the training side of the mansion. Dropping the towel at the edge, she dove straight in.

The pool immediately washed away her concerns and she felt the burn of lactic acid build up course through her as she propelled through the water. She loved the feeling that her muscles were working, sweating, burning. It made her feel alive.

When she was done she lifted up out of the pool flew a few feet up and spun quickly in a twisting fashion, shedding the water, wicking it back to its source. When she landed she wrapped her hair in the towel, careful not to scrub.

"nn trrndrr" a voice cut through the towel to her ears.

"What?" She asked when she jumped back.

Turing around she saw hot red eyes on her. Her own eyes flicked down the motion, his hands shuffling his ubiquitous cards. Gambit grinned. "Remy said 'nice trick dere,' _chere._"

Rogue's mind stumbled, as if it were still out there swimming itself. She shook her head, realizing he meant her drying off. "Ah, we all got our lil talents don' we?"

He snickered and she wasn't sure if he was laughing at her or not. When he continued on his way, she fought the urge to turn and watch him to see what he was going to do, why he would be around. But also she wasn't sure if she wanted to giver herself away as wondering. She admitted to herself she was curious in the end, but wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing, so she picked up the towel she dropped and headed back to her room change.

**Kinda short this one. Oh well. That's how it goes. I kinda feel bad about making Bobby and Cyclops pricks. I mean, Iceman/Bobby has always kinda been a trickster in the comics, but the movie bobby I didn't care for. So imagine that one. Cyclops, well hes got a hard job. I'll see what I can do in the future. Sorry for Gambit's accent, its hard y'all know that.**


	5. A Hard Workout and a Good Meal

And so the training went on. One particular day, Scott set everyone to fight each other. Claiming that one never knew when they would need to fight each other, brainwashed or fighting clones, it didn't hurt to cross train against each other. It kept everyone fresh as well.

"It's just a new kick he's on," John was leaning over telling Jubilee and Kitty. "Read it in the new _Heroes Monthly_."

"Oh," Kitty played along, "Is it here already?"

"Nah," Jubilee jumped in, "Totally last month column, 'Fighting on both sides: Keep your enemies closer, and your teammates closer.'"

"Written by Dick Biged, the Smiter." John finished for them as they all snickered.

Bobby walked by, giving them a nudge to keep the hilarities down. John stood up following him. The two would give it a go. But before they could start, Storm walked up.

"John, Bobby, let's not start with you two together. Such blatantly antithetical powers would be excessively draining and unnecessary at this point. We'll begin with John with Kitty, And Bobby with Rogue.

"Peter, you and Jubilee…" She walked off directing others, settling Betsy with Gambit, herself with Logan, and left Scott to keep an eye on them. After some time they would switch again. Jean and Beast would be back from the lab at that point.

Cyclops watched everyone begin at their own pace, some, like John, launching right in, others, like Peter, taking a less aggressive approach. He nodded to Warren, who launched into flight to throw a couple random moves into everyone, causing the occasional third party interruption, or ganging up on someone. Scott added some here or there as well.

"C'mon, Iceman, Let's go already," Rogue taunted Bobby as she hopped into the air, just barely hovering off the ground.

"Let's do it then," He grinned. Throwing ice at her, "Get down here and we will."

He tossed his ice around her, not aiming for her, but to box her in and block an escape. She came back down, landing hard and crouching, then launching forward at him. Before she could pounced on him, Archangel swept down ramming her from the side and rolling her over and far away. Before she could even curse the birdman, Bobby threw her an icy shower. She quickly rolled away.

"Aw, you had help."

"I don't need it."

"You do!" she laughed as she ripped off her gloves, stowing them in her belt, determined to use all her abilities.

"What are you waiting for, sweetie?" He goaded her.

Bobby threw up a wall of ice several inches thick. Rogue doubled back and knocked a fist straight through. She could feel Bobby ice her hand over as it froze in place and to the wall, trapping her briefly. She knocked her hand to her side of the wall, breaking the ice from another point; it shattered around her and to the ground.

John was similarly throwing fireballs at Kitty, but her phasing let them pass through her.

"That is uncomfortable, you know." She informed him as she danced to avoid them still.

"Oh, is it?" he laughed.

Archangel came up from behind and shoved Pyro forward onto Shadowcat. Since she saw it coming, she phased back to solid stature and left him fall against her before she gave him a hard kick to his side. When she heard him clicking for fire, the previous light going out, she changed again, just in time as her suit singed.

Jubilee's fireworks sounded about Colossus. Unaffectedly.

"Shit, shit shit." She muttered to herself. The silver mass kept coming forward for her. She threw a blast right at his chest as he reached forward for her. The lighted sparks bounced off, rocketing every which way. The blinding effect was the best Jubes could mange, so she ducked out of Colossus impeding embrace and nailed him with brilliant light as it reflected off him and ricocheted in growing accumulation.

The sparks hit John and his back arched to feel fire on his back that was not his. He didn't feel pain, but surprise as he whipped around to see what had caused it. Kitty took the opportunity to attack his back and sent him sailing across the room with an empowered flying kick to the back.

John cursed as he slid on the floor, flames shooting about as he struggled not to lose the fire. When he hit the wall, he threw fire up to yank himself up by centrifugal force. He looked not to where his flames leapt, but just thought to run back to the fray.

Rogue watched as sparks flew in front of her, John's flames and Jubes' explosions. Bobby's ice melted some before steaming the fire out. "Shitfire!" she grinned.

As John sprinted past her, she stuck out a bare hand to stop him. Running straight into it, he fell on to his back, straight to the ground in a large crash. Rogue grinned down at him and brush the back of her hand along his cheek. "Thanks, shug."

John felt a stir that was as cold as if Bobby had frozen his underwear for thirty days and in the same breath as hot as any of his fires could ever begin to know. The trivial drain left him dizzy still, but he thought only of his duty as he hopped up and continued on fighting.

Rogue grinned as she stepped to Iceman who had not witnessed her thieving, concentrated on missing Jubes' confetti fire, and John's wayward flames. She flew straight for him, burning through the ice he confidently shot her way. His jaw dropped as Rogue hit him full in the chest, her scorching hands brushed his neck on either side. He felt the spinning around him, that he had felt only a few times before, and knew that Rogue had him. The darkness cooled him from the sting of battle as he passed out.

Rogue staggered from her head full of conflicting forces. She fell to the floor like Bobby as she was overwhelmed. She looked around before her tunneling vision could claim her. She shot fire out one hand towards Jubes and Colussus, and the other hand gave ice to Pyro and Kitty.

Jubilee grinned to see the help, the blinding light was too much for Peter as he fell back, covering his eyes. Jubilee ran to him setting a quaking explosion to him armor that shook the boy apart. At that point she was pinched from above and took a tour of the skies as Arhcangel swung her about.

Kitty took advantage of the cold being sent her way as she feinted a shot one way, knowing John would go the other, and straight into Rogue's parting frost blast. Pyro froze still, the shock on his face. But Kitty was soon interrupted with a Jubilee falling onto her from above. The two got up looked around, deciding whether to go after their opponents, or Archangel. Dawning on them that they would work together. At that point Cyclops interrupted.

"Halt!" he called a break.

Panting, everyone stopped and either came up to the control room to chat and talk to their leader, or some had to recover first. Bobby stirred, shaking his head. He grasped his stomach as he headed to talk with the rest. Rogue stood up flicking her hands as if they were wet, trying to get water off. Instead, little bits of ice and flames came flaking out. She laughed. John still standing, frozen to the spot, steamed. Falling to the ground he retched, completely overwhelmed with hotness and coldness fighting in him. Rogue came over, placing her hand on his back and apologizing.

When everyone was gathered. Scott looked smug.

"So?" He simply asked, not going to be the one to have to tell them what they should have learned.

"Wow." Jubilee said for them. "That was fun. Hard. But fun."

"Well, that's _great_ that it was _fun_, but…?"

When no one volunteered he sighed and launched into commander mode. "Generally good work, but you should have figured out sooner that you all should have switched it up. But still, well done Rogue."

Rogue mentally grinned that he was happy she finally did what he wanted. She managed to use each power. But she knew he wouldn't bake her a cake for it, so she let herself have a small grin before letting go and moving on.

"Well, I think we all learned," Warren cut in when Scott was asking what everyone learned individually about the others, "Not to let those girls get teamed up."

Jubilee, Kitty, and Rogue laughed. Betsy mock pouted that she had been left out. "Next time, let the rest of us have some fun too."

"It was all accident," Jubilee admitted. Her bursts on Colossus had started it all.

"Exactly, so I think everyone needs to stretch their powers. Some of you were just being repetitive. While it might hold an attacker off, it won't end the fight. That's what we need next. Fight, move one. And try not to pass out." he flicked his eyes over to Bobby, Rogue, and John.

Rogue felt a flash of anger, then confusion. It was her fault that the other two had passed out, mixing their "antithetical powers" as Storm put it, had been dangerous. Even in herself, all three had not been able to handle the jumble of the fire and ice. But she had stopped her opponent, as well as herself granted, but how did Scott expect her to end a fight without absorbing someone completely, and with using all her different abilities. Get stronger she told herself. Next time, she will have to fight the battle inside herself as well as the one on the outside. She couldn't afford to be weak.

Scott had finished up and paired off groups again. She hadn't heard what he had said about the rest. Rogue had only seen what had gone on in her little corner, and barely seen the ripple affects. How had Storm and Logan done, and Betsy and Gambit?

Beast joined the workout. Eventually Jean as well. But the exercise went on as expected. Each getting in good shots, but taking them as well. The young'uns, as Wolverine would have said, were learning fast.

Bobby walked into the kitchen late that night, his hair sticking in all directions, looking fresh and clean from his shower. He was awake, but completely relaxed as he sauntered in. Stopping abruptly he looked up at the laughter in front of him. Along the bar next to the cookingware, Rogue was grinning at…that…Cajun. Bobby's bones cracked like ice when he adjusted his knuckles and neck, looking like Logan.

"Hey Bobby," Rogue smiled at him, laughing but shooting her eyes back at the smug man next to her.

He nodded at her, but raised an eyebrow.

"Want some gumbo?" She slapped the counter laughing so hard as her head fell forward to the table.

"Uh…" He looked over to Gambit.

"Remy don' t'ink _chere _be all dere."

Rogue lifted her head, subduing her giggles. "Logan had KP make gumbo tonight, after his fight with swamp rat here. Didn' see it myself, but hear it was a riot."

"A riot?" Bobby held his confusion and anger in check.

"Wolvie," Gambit said with a look to Rogue before continued, "is full of humor, as Gambit's sure y' know."

"Yeah, he is a" Bobby indulged them, really not getting their in-joke, "Laugh riot." He gave them a sardonic half smile before turning and smelling the giant mess in the pans before him.

Picking up the spoon, he tipped it to his lips, wincing before he tried the foul-smelling concoction. It burned his lip as he dropped the spoon, looking around the trash can to spit it out. Instead he swallowed it, taking Rogue's glass of water, freezing it in his hand, and taking a gulp.

When the glass was empty, he slammed it down to find the two southerners laughing at him. "Very funny."

"Oh, Drake," Rogue tried through her rolls of laugher. Gambit chuckled as well. "We shoulda warned you. I am so sorry!"

"Dat's a southern taste," Gambit grinned mischievously up at him.

"We Yankees just wouldn't understand." Bobby turned around with another cynical smile, and walked away.

"Maybe he needed clahm chowdah," Rogue burst out laughing at Bobby's Bostonian.

"You guys are mean," Kitty came in from the other way. "You should've warned him."

"Aw," Rogue shook a hand at her, "You just say that cuz you made the same mistake."

"Uh, yeah." Kitty stuck her tongue out at her.

"_Kätzchen_," Rogue grinned at her.

Kitty, hearing that, what Nightcrawler had called her in fight today, turned a delicate shade of red before turning around and quickly leaving.

Rogue winced, almost embarrassed that she had embarrassed her fiend, and looked at her partner in crime. "Your such a bad influence on me. Here I am pickin' on all them." Her accent doubly thick around another Dixie confed.

Gambit just shrugged, as if saying it was her own fault. He stood up and walked over to the food, grabbing a bowl, but mimicking some of the students that had come through. " 'oh, soup!'"

--

Rogue ended up apologizing to Bobby, for knowingly letting him eat the spicy stew. He insisted on a hug, and when she obliged, he frosted her clothes. They crackled as she moved. He laughed, feeling vindicated, so she let him have that one.

Betty and Kitty sat close together on the couch, giggling inanely. Jubilee rolled her eyes and went to find John, who was always up for a good time. Rogue fell down next to her friends, breaking up their gigglefest.

"Oh c'mon," she waved a hand at them, "we all know what y'all are up to and thinking."

"Oh?" Kitty turned towards in mock pretension.

"No," Rogue shook her head. "You aren't getting me involved. I'm going to sit here, on my butt and think about nothing after that training."

"Too easy," Betsy laughed. Rogue glared half-heartedly at her from across the couch.

As they chatted, a "bamf!" broke their attention away and the blue-faced Kurt sat on the couch with them. "Are ve all gossiping? Tell me, vot did I miss?"

Rogue grinned and scooted over, sitting next to him and whispering in his ear, while looking over his shoulder at Kitty. He nodded along making 'oh's and 'ah's. Kitty stood up clearing her throat, Betsy stretched nonchalantly so she could watch NightCrawler's expression.

"I think I am going to go try cooking something. Er, 'Baking' I believe they call it." she looked pointedly at her two-toned haired friend. "Rogue, I need your help."

She walked over to the kitchen, an amused Rogue in tow.

"What was that?" She hissed at her.

"What?" Rogue played dumb.

"Whispering like that, carrying on! Did you tell him what we were saying?" Kitty strung the cloth nervously.

"No, I was just giving you a hard time, hun." Rogue gasped between her laughter. "I didn't even know you had been talking about him. What about Peter?"

"What about him?" Kitty swung the cloth indifferently.

"Aw, do you have a triangle on your hands?" Kitty threw the towel at her roommate. Rogue put her hands up and caught it. "A little competition can be good." She offered.

"We'll see." Kitty sunk over to lean on the counter. She looked sideways at her friend, slyly, "I think you have a triangle of your own."

"What?" Rogue looked genuinely surprised.

Kitty just settled her eyes on Rogue for a silent moment before making a comment about Betsy and Warren to change the subject. Clearly, Rogue wasn't not savvy to Bobby's pissy behavior over the other night.

**I know that I had a close Gambit/Rogue moment without setting it up. Sometimes characters need privacy. They were bonding other their southerness, nothing too hot and heavy, just friendly conversation. Not much missed. Be sure, there will be more. **


	6. Juiced Out

When the next mission came up, everyone went out on some sort of errand or reconnaissance. Rogue went out with Logan on the Recon, Betsy flew the blackbird. Kitty agreed to help Jean, and the others accompanied various X-men.

When Rogue and Wolverine had returned with information for the rest, all met in the briefing room. The table held a simulated three-dimensional map of the land. Logan talked while Rogue just listened. She could barely understand his gruff tones, but knew what he was saying. She could speak Loganese and had been with him to witness the same. The rest listened eagerly.

The smuggling operation had been thoroughly surveyed by Wolverine. Apparently, mutant DNA was being sold on the black market. While it was not the X-men's concern of that, but the means. From where they were getting the juice concerned Xavier. He felt more information was needed. It turned out that some captives were being held by an unknown source. Their powers were being tapped and sold.

"So, we go in then." Cyclops confirmed what they all knew. "Kitty, Kurt, we are going to need you guys to go in first. Storm, Rogue, you'll be above on Eye."

To the rest he gave various positions. The next drop, according to Wolverine, was to occur at 3 o'clock in the morning in a few days. They didn't know when but would be on watch. Therefore, a watch was needed. Then they would mark their target and backtrack until they found the source.

"Wolverine should've tracked them to the den first, then we could just go straight in. instead of all this…foreplay." John huffed at a mediocre dinner with Bobby.

Only one or two of the others were around, the girls eating of to the side at the table instead of the bar. Bobby looked over to his friend with food in his mouth. He swallowed, allowing himself time, before speaking.

"That's the point of Kitty and Nightcrawler. To sneak in. Wolverine is good but not invisible or quick like bamph," he spoke in a low voice, hoping John would follow.

"I suppose. I just wish we could cut right to it." John played with his lighter, resisting the urge to light up.

"Patience, young grasshopper." Jubilee told them as she put her dishes up. "Can't rush it."

"But—" John started before Kitty cut him off, coming from behind. "—but we don't know enough information, so calm down."

"Right." He said in a resigned sigh.

"No," Rogue said as she was walking in to the kitchen, heading to get some of the poor dinner offered.

"_Co faire_?" Asked the dark-and-red-eyed Cajun following in after her. He didn't even bother to toss an eye around the room, no greeting at all as Rogue gave them half smiles before rolling her eyes at the question placed before her.

"'Cos your crazy," she looked back at him, her hands on her hips.

"_Motier foux _mebbe_, _eh?" he laughed at her.

"What is it?" Bobby asked with a derisive look to Gambit.

"He's just bein' a goofy ass." Rogue looked at them. "Thinks this scam is, well, a scam."

"Did you tell Cyclops?" Kitty looked over to the group.

Gambit shrugged.

Rogue spoke again, as if she were his speaker or translator. "He wants someone—" Gambit coughed loudly, "—he wants to either go in undercover, or skip it all together."

"What—Why?" Jubilee asked for all their alarm.

"Don' feel right." Gambit told them from where he leaned on the counter.

"So why did he drop all this on you?" John asked skeptically. "Not Scott?"

"'Cos Wolvie and I saw it up close. I gotta admit, he's gotta point."

"What's that?" Bobby jumped in. "That he knows so much more? What are the rest of us missing that he's on to?"

"Well, I just think with his, er, past," Rogue stumbled over what she wanted to say, "There's probably stuff he might be pickin' up on."

"I guess your right, but we should tell Cyclops." Bobby nodded.

"Let him decide." Jubes nodded. "Now that you mention it, I don't know either. It could very easily be real or fake."

"I think he'd going to want to err on the side of caution, though," Kitty pointed out, "Knowing Cyke."

"I'll go talk to him," Bobby volunteered, striding out of the room.

"I think he's grumpy," Jubilee pointed out.

"Well, I think he thinks Gambit is in on it," Kitty whispered to her friend.

Rogue was sniffing at the food on her plate, while Gambit played a card trick on John, Three-card Mary. Jubilee looked over at Kitty with an eyebrow raised. Kitty simply smiled coyly.

"Think I'll go talk tactics with Nightcrawler," Kitty sashayed.

"Kurt?" Jubilee teased, throwing her voice so Kitty could hear her as she exited.

"You're so mean," Rogue laughed as she sat down next to Jubes.

"Yeh, so?" Jubes laughed. "It does her good to be challenged. And you."

"Me?" Rogue said through a mouth full of food. "What did I do?"

"If you only knew!" Jubes teased her.

"Meeting in, like, 5 minutes," Betsy leaned in the door to tell everyone.

"If I'm late again, Scott will skin me," Rogue stood up, eating quickly.

"Me too," Jubilee hopped up. "Right behind you."

In the Warroom, tired X-ers were scattered about the room. Jean stood alert, Wolverine stalked in, leaning against a wall. Storm sat calmly at the table, but a few seats down from her Kitty fidgeted in her seat. As more gathered, Bobby paced more.

"It has come to attention," Scott started, "That this is possibly a trap. While we always think that about every situation, it is of concern that it might not be a trap."

"If it is valid," Storm translated, "the taken mutants are at risk."

"So what do we do now?" John spoke up before Scott could continue. "Do we go in?"

"I think we must." Cyclops continued. "We cannot afford the risk not to."

"We go in."

Three o'clock came, they thought would come too quickly. But as it turned out, no one slept and it couldn't come quick enough in the end.

Nightcrawler and Kitty crept ahead as Storm and Rogue kept to the skies. Gambit agreed to go in as a buyer, looking for the right purchase. Wolverine snorted in derision at being partnered with him. But then again, as Rogue laughed, his gruff expressions were the same for nearly everyone.

"We can't see or hear anything from up here," Rogue groaned to Storm.

"We've other business," Ororo pointed out.

Down below, the others made the appointment, Gambit and Logan making the deal. Rogue wasn't sure what happened, but when she saw the action break out down below, she and Storm were on top of it. Storm took one side as Rogue took the other, blocking the entrance from reinforcements.

Rogue didn't have time to worry about the rest, having her hands full with five to ten large men. Tossing a few around and or into each other, she turned her attention to the fight behind her. Storm had blocked her way, but was maintaining it as the rest interrogated the men before them.

Kitty had left to walk through the vicinity to see if she could find a sign of caged mutants, and Kurt was gone, presumably with her. Gambit nonchalantly flipped his cards around in a bored manner while Scott and Wolverine made with the small talk. Iceman, Rogue could tell, was doing his best not to pace, intently watching the scraggly dealer instead. The others she knew were around.

"I done told you," the man was rasping at them, rubbing his neck. "There ain't no more. That's it."

"You're telling me there is no more 'juice?'" Cyclops gestured quotations.

Wolverine sniffed him, making it loud and rude. "He's lying."

"Thank you," Cyclops snapped irritably, regaining control of himself a second later. "Now, you will tell me what you know."

"Or he's going to stare into yer brain." Logan laughed. "I'll just cut it out of him." A single blade slide from his knuckles.

Rogue couldn't see the look Cyclops had because of his gear, but she could imagine the gaze he leveled on his teammate. But then he turned towards her.

"Rogue, come here."

Shit. She knew this would lead to know good.

"She will extract the information we need." Cyclops explained.

She came up to the small group and tried not to let her nerves show. Poker face, she told herself, steeling herself stone cold. She stood next to them, unaffected.

"Take off your glove, Rogue."

Slowly she slipped the long sleeve from her arm, quivering and seeing the shaking, but ignoring it. She bit the insides of her cheeks, willing the man to come to his senses, for both their sakes. Even slower, she reached to his forward, trembling slightly but it lessened as she came closer, like his skin was a magnet for hers, all flesh was.

"No, n-no," he stuttered. "Ok-kay, I'll tell you. Don't let her suck out my brain."

But, relieved though she was, she paused her hand, not removing it from his comfort zone. She knew enough about threats by now to play them out. He spilled the truth.

"Th- The mutants was just a scam. We were selling plain plasma." He spoke quickly as if it would change the fact.

"Weren't you afraid they would find out?" Cyclops asked, unconvinced.

"We add something to make it s-seem supernatural."

"What?" The question came out as a dart.

"P-pepper. Cayenne."

Gambit snorted quietly, Rogue took a glance and found the exotic eyes on her. She only knew he was watching her because she looked at him to see his response. Right? Typical, she mused.

The man bumbled on not making much sense, but it didn't matter when Kitty came running out of the side of a wall. "Their there. not close, but there are a few."

"Mutants?" Scott flashed around at her.

He turned back to the man he had in his hands. "Mutants?"

"I, uh, we, uh, Terry was scamming the boss. He wanted to, uh," the man tattled on.

"I couldn't open the crates, I need someone." Kitty told them. "Quickly, there are some more thugs that Kurt's got."

She went back the way she came, knowing someone would follow. Rogue watched Cyclops and Wolverine.

"I'll take him," Wolverine said, grinning wolfishly. He grabbed the man from Cyclops's hand.

"Come, Iceman." The two went in the direction of Kitty.

Rogue grew bored with the man, who Wolverine played with like a cat with a mouse until Storm snapped at him. He grinned wolfishly at her too, and Rogue felt very much out of place. She walked around and tried to remind herself not to chew on her nails. Why hadn't she gone? Why hadn't Scott asked for her help?

Because, Rogue, she told herself, someone needs to stay here.

_Like Logan couldn't handle it?_

'You know he would just let the man get away so he could hunt him down.' She talked with herself.

_He's not being challenged._

'I am not going to respond to that only to say that I'm not going to respond to that.'

Rogue! She reprimanded herself. Pay attention here!

But she didn't have to yell at herself too much, a loud thunderous break alarmed everyone. She looked up and saw the cloud of thick billowing dark clouds rolling overhead. Something had exploded.

Storm was in the air before the Rogue had even looked up. She looked to Logan and he nodded to her to go. He would stay his watch with the coward. The others, Gambit among them were also gone. As she went to air, she saw the quick movements to and from the building. She went down to check on everyone as Storm gathered the rain to ease the fire.

She helped her teammates pulling others along. Kitty held someone by an arm around her. The rest hacked and couched as they came together.

"What happened?" she asked Kitty when she could.

"I don't know. First we were gathering up the baddies, then the mutants, then bam." Kitty gulped for air. "Someone must have tripped something."

"The bad guys are unconscious in the spare run out back, but I don't know who was still in there." Another Xmember told them.

Rogue scanned around and found Scott, going to him for directions. He was talking at various people to hurry up and get the weak and hurt to the blackbird. He looked at Rogue. "Do a head count."

He walked over to another to tell them to have Logan and Ororo join them. Rogue thought through who she had seen. Counting the ones who appeared, she found everyone she thought. She wished John had come on the mission, he would have smothered the flames quickly enough. But Iceman surely had helped Storm, Rogue thought.

"Bobby!"

She hadn't seen Bobby. All the times she took him for granted and she hadn't seen him around with everyone outside of the warehouse. She jumped into the air before she knew it, scanning and scanning again. Surely she had simply missed him. She counted and recounted but didn't see.

Not quite in the sky, she was simply above the others, she looked back at the warehouse. It was still smoking but not at the pace it was. He was inside, she could feel it to her core. He would have stayed inside to make sure everyone got out. She rushed in praying nothing had collapsed.

"Drake!" she called, listening for only a moment before calling again. "Drake!"

"Bobby!"

She didn't hear anything but found a water trail leading to a puddle. His ice would have melted in the fire. She called again, listening quietly for even a twitter. At the sound she ripped the materials away, she found herself thankful for her strength. Throwing steel bars and wood over to empty spots, she called until she heard a response. Digging through the heavy materials, thankful for Carol's strength.

"Drake?" She found him in a cavern of junk, in an ice cave. He was tinged only slightly blue. "Bobby, shug?"

He was conscious enough to respond vaguely, opening his eyes, black and blue as they were. He coughed when he tried to speak.

"Ok, ok. Shh. I'll get you." she murmured as if she were talking to a young kid.

She managed to work more stuff loose, slow progress. But quickly enough Cyclops was at her side.

"I told him not to stay." He disintegrated the trash. "He must've turned back, the fool."

Rogue couldn't spare a pang for Cyclops at the moment, trying to dig her friend out. She knew being a leader was hard, but it didn't matter then. He didn't need to justify himself. When Bobby was free, and hanging loosely from the two, Cyclops scolded him.

"You must listen."

"Scott, I don't think it's the time. He can't even hear you." She could hear Cyclops' own tsk of disapproval over her, but she didn't care. She just wanted to get to the plane.

The rain Storm gathered had turned to a true thunderstorm, one that had been on its way which she had helped. Not one to mess lightly with the weather, she left in place which made loading all the injured to the plane that much more fun in the rain. Once everything and one was loaded she went back to Bobby, where Storm had done what she could of first aid.

"He requires Jean Gray." Storm said. "I believe he has internal injuries."

Rogue turned to leave, upset and unsure what to do, the plane especially full of people, she remained still. Storm quietly told her to watch Bobby as she left to radio ahead to Jean. Rogue sat down. Bobby lay asleep, heavily drugged. Rogue had seen plenty of destruction and death, but it never made it any easier or less painful to take. "Drake."


	7. The Perils of Knicking

When the plane landed, Cyclops worried about the extra mutants, Storm took the team, and Rogue took Bobby to ER. Jean, Storm had told her, wasn't there. She had her own mission which had taken her from the mansion. Beast and Xavier waited for her in the infirmary.

The elevator door opened and the power flickered at the crashing thunder. It blinked out, but quickly snapped on as the generators kicked in.

"Damn," Rogue cursed. What else wanted to go wrong?

She explained what had happened again to the two older men and stepped aside while they examined Bobby, who was heavily sedated. Storm had called ahead for Jean Gray, but instead told the two her evaluation. Everything was prepared.

The power flickered more. Then the lights went out.

"I thought the generator was on?" Rogue said in the dark.

"It should be," Beast sighed.

The lights came back on once more, but only in the room they were in. The professor had his eyes closed. "The Generator has been struck by lightening. I will do what I can."

Rogue volunteered to help Beast but he sent her away, preferring the silence to work on Bobby. With limited energy, he wanted to conserve the professor for when he was needed. The two would manage Rouge knew. So she left.

Up the steps she went in the dark, seeing only because her eyes had adjusted. She did find a moment to send a angry thought to Storm at letting the rain continue, but how was she to know?

"What else could go wrong?" she asked herself aloud as she stepped out into the dark mansion.

The lightening flashed outside to light up her way somewhat, and she could see some others had lit candles. She moved in that direction, but stopped herself, instead sitting on the base of the stairs and slumping over.

She was tired, wet, dirty, everything imaginable. Miserable. But for Bobby not herself. She had time to examine her feelings and wonder if she was feeling more than sadness, but regret? Did she have feelings for Drake? Is that why she was so panicky?

"No," she mumbled. She was overcompensating for not liking him in the way he liked her. He, as Jubes and Kitty had told her plenty, was devoted. She didn't need or want devoted though. She just wanted him well.

"Here."

She jumped at the voice, hearing Gambit. She had been so lost in her own world that she didn't see the light coming towards her. She suspected for a moment that he probably came from behind anyway.

He offered her the candle. "Remy don' need it, but," he shrugged endearingly, "perhaps de Rogue do."

"Thanks." she didn't take it, she couldn't even lift her head. She saw the candle placed beside her at her feet. She eventually looked up and saw Gambit. She just stared at him, too sad to say anything.

He lit a card and the room grew slightly brighter. Without saying anything he just sat next to her, lighting cards and letting them die, without an explosion.

"Dra-Bobby's not doin' so well." She finally spoke. "Between the power out, Sunspot not getting the sun until it clears up tomorrow, and Berzerker sick at his parents, Jean Gray away and all that, there's no electricity. Bobby's chances aren't looking good."

Gambit didn't say anything.

"Did you hear me?" Rogue asked him quite loudly, extremely strung out. She jumped up and walked around. Stopping in front of him, then walking on. "I don't know what to do!"

"Why do y' need t' do anyt'ing?"

"What?" Rogue stopped from her pacing. "Why, I mean, he's my friend. I can't just do nothing."

"So help him den."

"How?"

Gambit appeared to acknowledge the rhetoric of her question, saying nothing once again. After a space of silence, Rogue wasn't sure how long, she looked over to him. He stood to leave, handing her a glowing card. "Be easy if Rogue could jus' reverse her powers, non?"

Rogue held the glowing card, unaware. Somehow something he said spun in her head. Reverse her powers? Give him her strength? No, it wouldn't work, She told herself. She looked at Gambit's card, the glow fading, she could relate. Rogue didn't have the warmth Bobby needed, ironically. He was Iceman, but needed something she couldn't give him. She was a cold as the card in her hand, now just a plain three of diamonds.

"Warmth," she said. Thinking about it because she had nothing else to consider or dwell on.

Compassion. It came from strange places she new that. If no one had ever shown her any, she wouldn't be in the mansion, probably out on the streets, or jail. Probably dead. But Logan had helped her. He had compassion, believe it or not.

"Wolverine!" Rogue jumped into the air, streaking down the hall. He was the key, she knew it.

"Logan." She panted as she saw him. "I-I need your help."

He crossed his arms on his chest. "Well, catch your breath first at least, kid."

Logan leaned back in his chair. Rogue had found him in the communications room, surveying the recent recordings before the outage.

"Can I touch you?"

"What?"

"I need to touch you."

"Marie—Rogue, what is going on, what in the blazes are you yammering about?"

Rogue launched into explanations. "Well, you know Bobby was hurt. Bleedin' inside and out. He's not doin' so well. I wasn't sure what to do. And we have no power here. None at all. I mean, anyone who could help is not here. No one. Like I said, I wasn't sure what to do, so I got to thinkin'. And then I thought of you and I was thinkin' you could help because you have your healing factor. So if Bobby can't have the machines to monitor him, if he had your healing power in him, it would solve the problem. It did with me, we give him a boost of Wolverine."

"And how on earth do you think that transfer is going to happen?"

"Through me."

"You?"

"Yes. If I can absorb your healing and then just maybe I can pass it on to Bobby, it can help him." She gestured from one side to the other as she described her scenario.

"If? Just maybe? Rogue, sounds rather dubious, don't ya think?"

"If I can concentrate, I think I can do it. Jean is always saying if we just focus, there's not telling what we can do."

Logan snorted. "Well, that's Jean."

"I thought you trusted her."

"What does that have to do with it?" He shook his head. "Look, I think you should just wait until she gets back. Your boyfriend'll be okay."

"He's Not my boyfriend!" Rogue surprised even herself with the vehemence of her statement. "I mean, no."

Logan looked at her, a smile at his lips. He shrugged. "Whatever, he'll be okay. Don't worry okay? Jean'll be back soon, a few hours, her report came back an hour or so before we got back."

He turned around to grab the sheet to show her. Rogue took her chance and whipped off her glove and touched the back of his furry neck. His head came swinging around his shoulder as he looked at her, shocked before he froze and fell to the ground, passed out from her extended absorption.

Rogue held longer than she might if she were taking a nick of power from someone. If she were taking Kitty's phasing abilities or Jubilee's plasma fireworks, she would just brush a finger against her skin. But, now with the experience of Carol, Rogue knew when long was too long. She held on to Logan for a space longer than a brush, enough that she knew he would pass out.

She wasn't prepared for the images that entered her mind. First there was a the memory she already had from Logan, of him in the tank and his anger and pain at the experiment. Next in her mind came images of people. An Asian woman, an Native American woman, Jean, Rogue even saw herself in her mind's eye. She saw more students, she saw Cyclops. But she saw Jean in every other glimpse of people.

When Rogue broke away, it felt like forever had passed between the two. In dreaded worry, she dropped to her knees to check on Logan. He was only sleeping, still fine. She heaved a sigh and took the opportunity to kiss him on his furry head. She loved his hair. He would never have let her do that. Ever.

"Sorry Logan."

Rogue flew down the hallway before she lost her nerve or Logan's healing factor. She never knew how long she would maintain an ability, it usually varied with how long she had touched someone. Entering Bobby's room, she locked the door behind her, wanting no one to interfere if the plan did not work.

She sat next to his bed and reached to touch him, hesitating at the last moment. She focused her thoughts and took a deep breath and felt his skin on his cheek. She felt the familiar shock of touch, the ice running up into her veins, Iceman's power. It tried to grip her, take control.

She immediately thought of Logan. Wolverine. His claws shot out through his knuckles. She imagined doing that with her own power and the icy power threatening to overtake her. Willing the though and the healing power from her, she focused her energy to Bobby.

The room was dark except for a small candle burning safely in the room. It smelled like rain. Rain on some fruity flower to be exact. The time crept by for Rogue, just as when she had touched Logan.

The images shot into her. Pictures of her, kissing her, his home and family in Boston, Scott, the team, Jubilee and Betsy laughing, him kissing Kitty. Kitty looked unsure in Rogue's mind's eye, and the feeling she got from Bobby was apprehension as well. But she saw the action in slow motion. Then she saw herself again.

Rogue broke free of the connection when she was sure she might have given her friend the healing factor she had stolen from Logan. She stumbled back, reeling from what she had seen and felt. She knew Bobby cared for her, but to see him also kissing Kitty had been a shock. Jealousy gnawed at her, but she could only offer it the logic of 'why should I care?'

_Bobby—Drake can do whatever he wants. With whomever he wants._

'But he said, well, that is he has sure made an effort to get me.' she fought with herself.

_And you have made it clear, to you at least, that you are not interested. Why shouldn't he pursue someone else?_

'Well, obviously he wasn't that interested in me to begin with.'

_That could've happened a while ago, you never know._

'Who cares? He's clearly, obviously, apparently…"

Rogue fought back and forth between her selves, trying to understand. She stuffed the images and voices in her head far down. Looking to Bobby, he looked to be breathing deeper. When she thought she heard a sound she fled the room. Lord knew what Logan would do when he found her.

Rogue was jarred awake by jostling hand on her shoulder. She hadn't realized she was asleep in an arm chair in the study. After fleeing Bobby's room, she had gone to the library to watch the storm. As she did, she couldn't help but think of Ororo.

But she stood up from her chair to face Logan. She swallowed hard, bracing herself for what she knew to be coming. His face, as always, was unreadable. If anything was to be read, ever, he looked angry. Wolverine always seemed mad, in both ways.

"Logan, I," Rogue started. "I'm sorry."

He didn't say anything, but she could see his fist clenching and unclenching. His knuckles were bloody and bulged with contusions of his claws trying to rip from his skin. But Logan kept them under control. Rogue knew that he would not hurt her, but she knew his ire and claws were closely tied together, and his fuse was extremely short.

"Rogue." He sat. "I know why you did what you did, but that doesn't make it ok. You did the wrong thing for the right reason."

She opened her mouth to speak, but she didn't have excuses for him, instead, her head dropped. She deserved whatever beating, reprimand, punishment he would doll out. His sigh was audible.

"But it worked."

"What?" Her eyes snapped up to met his.

"You some how did it." He shrugged. "Jean got in a few hours ago and couldn't find anything wrong with Frosty, except for a severe case of sleep."

"Bobby's okay?"

"For someone who's not your boyfriend, you sure care a lot, kid."

An image flashed in Rogue's mind. First of Bobby and Kitty, but then one of Wolverine and Jean Kissing. Logan and Jean kissing? How was she seeing that in her head? Usually people faded from her conscious after a while, but Logan was still there. She did not remember seeing that image last night. Was he kissing her, or was she kissing him?

Rogue looked at Logan.

"What? Do you?"

"What do I what?" she asked confused, the image would not leave her mind. Logan and Jean. Jean and Logan.

"Care for iceboy?"

"I-uh, no. I mean yeas, but no. Not like that." she stumbled as she spoke.

_Geez, kid, what's your problem?_

"Uh, nothing." Rogue responded without thinking, turning away. She couldn't look at Logan or all she would see would be Jean.

"What?"

"Huh?"

_What is freaking her out?_

"Nothing, nothing. I should go check in on Fr-Bob-Iceb-man, Drake. Uh, see you later Logan."

Rogue quickly left the room. She had heard Logan's thoughts she realized. It was not like the time when she had touched Jean and could hear other peoples thoughts, this time it was coming from her. She was hearing the Logan inside her head, the part of him that was with her, but that one and the true one were enough alike she hadn't realized the difference of the speaking. She knew him well enough to know what he was thinking and going to say, with that part of him so recently renewed.

She put it out of her head as she headed to infirmary ward. Into her head came the thought that the blasted thing had worked! She had taken one power, used herself as a conduit and flushed it out to another use. Incredible. Unbelievable, actually. Drake had been in critical condition. Was it possible he was fine—she had to see.

Outside his room she could see a number of people. She slowed her walk, not wanting to intrude, and in turn have to answer the awkward questions that were sure to come. Turning the corner instead, she paced around a few halls down, working up her nerve.

A nearby door quietly opened and closed. Rogue glanced around to see who it was and grinned to see Gambit. Of all people, she was pleased to see him. she quickly went over.

"Gambit, you are a genius. It worked!"

He stopped when he saw her, grinned when he heard her. One shoulder fell gracefully against the wall as he casually leaned over her.

"A genius? Gambit knows. 'Bout what 'zackly?"

"Bobby. You said I should reverse my power, and I did."

"Remy never said y' should do anyt'ing."

"Well, no. Not exactly. But it was your suggestion that prompted it."

He nodded his head as if he understood. "Roused y' to take Wolverine's remedy, eh?" He grinned wickedly at her.

She flushed immediately, apparently the news spread fast. "Eh-no. I suppose that was my addition. Won't blame you for that one."

"Sure y' can." He leaned closer. "Gambit t'inks de Rogue owes Remy a kiss den for his help."

The cajun's face was in front of her, sorely tempting and alarming all in one breath. She shoved a hand to his chest. "'Scuse me?! 'Scuse you, rather! 'Less ya like comas."

"P'haps. Could be worth it, non?"

Rogue, flustered and red, shook a finger at him, despite it ineffectiveness. "Rogue." At his wide grin, she growled. "Swamp Rat."

She spun on her heel and went for Bobby's room. She could certainly defend herself in front of the others after that blasted gumbo-breathed _cajun_ riled her up. She pushed passed the few teammates in front of his door, scraggled down the hallway. She entered and quietly shut the door behind her.

When she saw him, she forgot her anger at the rest. She walked over to his bed, his eyes on her. she sat down on his bed facing him. "Sorry I woke you."

"I hear I'm alive because of you."

His hands on her gloves were cold, she felt a chill through the cloth. For Bobby that was normal. It was more worrisome when he was warm.

"Nah. It was nothin'."

"Nothing?" he gave a weak laugh. "Not everyone I know would steal from Wolverine."

"Guess everybody's heard about that by now," she said under breath.

"You know how Kitty and the rest are with the gossip." He laughed again, a little stronger.

As with Logan, Rogue had random, rogue flashing images come to mind out of nowhere. Instead of Logan and Jean, she saw Bobby and Kitty. Kitty and Bobby. Kissing. Not once, maybe twice. She couldn't tell the difference as the flashes flipped through her mind. She shook her head to get the thoughts form her.

"Rogue?"

She looked down at him and his worried eyes watched her.

"Uh…" Rogue stuttered, unsure of what to say. Just like with Logan, she was surprised the memories resurfaced. She laughed to cover it up. "Nothing."

_Modest Rogue?_ She heard a skeptical voice.

She could see her shocked face reflected in his own confused look. She brushed it off once more. "I'm glad you're better, Bobby."

"Thanks to you, Marie."

He reached up and touched her cheek with his hand and she felt the stinging bite of cold slipping between them. Before she knew or could do anything, she had hopped up and away, in true undoubted reflex.

"Drake!"

"Sorry," he said, slightly ashamed, "Rogue."

She sighed. "Bobby." The images of Kitty flashed before her again, then one of Jubes, one of Rogue and John together. She felt the stir of a jealous, not hers, at the last one. Then she saw the kiss of Kitty again.

"I—I gotta go, Bobby." She turned quickly, not even hearing his apologies.

She couldn't take the images flashing at her for no apparent reason. She was upset he touched her so carelessly and at the same time deliberately. But she was upset that a part of Bobby, and Logan, were still lurking within her, creeping up at inopportune times. Well, she told herself, every time was inopportune.

**I love that Gambit says he thinks she owes Remy a kiss, like they are two different people. Kinda playing her, isn't he? Oh, and the wrong thing for the right reasons- I took that from the X-men Evolution cartoon, I started watching those. Thought it was a great line (from Rogue to Gambit!!) See more Romy, the previous was a setup, and more to come :D. **


	8. A Long Day

"I don't know if I can do it again, Professor," Rogue said. "I suppose I was very motivated."

"I see."

Xavier templed his fingers, almost leaning on them as he pondered silently. Rogue felt incredibly sheepish first for having to hear everyone's reactions and reprimands, then to explain it to everyone, repeatedly, most importantly to Prof X, then analyze it. Over and over and over….

He had already scanned her with Cerebro's help. "Come again tomorrow and we will try something different." It sounded as if the man had an experiment lined up. If Rogue didn't know any better, which was neither here nor there, she, or he rather, would place Beast and Jean there as well.

Rogue sighed as she quietly shut the door behind her. She thought of going for a workout, but had grown somewhat out of that phase when she had taken on the responsibility of her new powers. Still, the other alternative was to see people she wasn't prepared to see. She dawdled in the hall as she tried to decide what to do with the rest of her free afternoon.

"Rogue, there you are, I have been looking all over." Jubes called from behind her.

Rogue turned, a smile for Jubillee, but lost her sense of fun when she saw Kitty. She was not mad at her, but every time she saw the girl, it consumed her thoughts. She wasn't even sure if they were her thoughts or still reminiscent of Bobby's. (she had yet to tell the professor how Logan and Bobby still lingered in her mind days later.) Rogue still adored Kitty, she just wasn't sure how to act around her. Could that have been Bobby's feelings as well, she wondered.

"We're going to Pacino's for dinner, wanna come with?" Kitty smiled, unaware of her friend's inner turmoil.

She pretended to think it over, already knowing the answer. Jubilee tried to convince her though. "It'll just be the girls. Me, you, Kit, Betsy. Maybe some others, but doubtful."

Rogue did have to admit to herself it almost sounded like fun. 'just the girls.'

"But you know we'll end up talking about guys," Kitty laughed. "All the problems we have on our hands, blah blah blah, ya know?"

That convinced Rogue. She did not want to hear about guys from Kitty. She made a polite decline and headed to her room to change. She put on running gear, grabbed a bottle of H20 and headed out. Even as she ran, her thoughts kept up.

She thought about Kitty's comment and her own reaction. _That wasn't my reaction._

'Well, whose was it then?"

_Drake? I mean he's the only one who would be jealous over Kitty talking about other guys._

'Uh, and Piotr, and Kurt, and every other freakin' guy in the world in love with Kitty.'

_But none of them are haunting you, hun._

'Right. Thanks.'

_No prob._

What about the Logan part of her brain? He would be upset with Kitty too wouldn't he? He had always looked over Kitty, all the girls for that matter, the same way he looked after Rogue. Perhaps it wasn't Bobby, maybe her inner Wolvie was making her parental. She knew her innerLogan was fuming at Scott. All the time. she felt the wild thoughts more than usual. Just this morning in training, Iceman's first day on return, everyone was working their collective asses off, and Cyke made his usual comments. Rogue's bitter thoughts snapped to her brain, and she felt her teeth grind when Cyclops complimented Jean. She saw the way the two looked at each other. Normally, it would have been enough to make her vomit to begin with. But combining her jealousy over their ability to touch, with Logan's inner feelings, which she had yet to inform him of her knowledge either, she could hardly contain her exasperation at the teamleader. Hence the run.

She needed, abso-postively-feakin'-lutely had to clear her head. Her hardcore workouts had helped before so why not now? she slowed down when she crested the top of a hill, a wide beautiful sunset view before her. How had she made such a mess of things, she asked herself. It always happened. Always.

Once returning to the mansion, Rogue found she was glad she didn't go to dinner. The three girls were home again. And Betsy was throwing couch pillows and kicking over chairs. Apparently, Warren wasn't even home to witness her independent gesture of going out to dinner with her friends.

"Ach! I ate pasta for nothing!" she screeched at them.

"I like pasta." Kitty shrugged.

"Me too." Jubes giggled to herself, trying not to laugh at her pissed off friend. "Now you'll just have to ignore him when he's here, eh?"

"I'll ignore him whether he's here or not!" Betsy stomped from the room, muttering as she went, expletives about feathers and such.

Kitty, Rogue, and Jubilee all looked at each other with wide eyes, disbelieving looks. Rogue snapped. "Damn, and I missed a wonderful dinner out."

"You know it," Jubilee rolled her eyes.

"Oh you did your fair share of talking." Kitty glared at her.

"What?" Rogue sat up. "What did I miss. Jubes has a new man?"

"No, just the same old crush."

Rogue smiled. It was a very closely guarded secret between the three of Jubilation's interest in a certain fire-handler. Betsy would know if she ever paid attention to something besides herself. But other than the girls, Jubes kept it under tight wraps.

"We did your fair share of talking for you though, don't worry." Jubilee smiled at Rogue.

"Thanks. Nice to know I was and wasn't missed."

The next day Betsy found any and every male other than Warren to talk to, in hopes he would notice. She flirted with John, she felt Piotr muscles, scheduled a private work out with Logan, anything to make herself desirable and yet unavailable. She upped her mysteriousness by going out at night, only dropping vague hints to her whereabouts. Warren took no notice.

Or so it appeared. Rogue and Jubilee sat in the control room, overseeing a student session when the winged man made leaned in the threshold. He cleared his throat, casually and yet not.

Jubes shrugged. "Eh, Betsy's not here."

"Yeh, okay." He seemed unfazed. "Have you seen my X-band? I believe I lost it." He gestured around his biceps as he mentioned the communicator. He couldn't open the garage or Blackbird without. Among other things.

"That like your jock strap?" The girls snickered.

Rather than respond he, rolled his eyes and left. Jubilee and Rogue cracked up, nearly falling on the floor before remembering their charge in the danger room. Jubilee sat back up from her close encounter with the ground, red from her laughter.

"Look what I found." She snapped the elastic strap that held the thin metal piece. It flew at Rogue.

"Ay." Rogue ducked as the object flew towards her face. She caught it nonetheless.

"I'll watch Junior," Jubilee sighed. "You go track down the birdbrain. Hey, I made a joke."

As Jubilee laughed at her own joke, Rogue rolled her eyes and left the control room. She glanced in the rooms she passed, not sure where to find Warren. It wasn't until she peeked in the library she found Angel. He stood gazing out the window, where outside Betsy was teaching a medley of martial arts styles, judo, aikido, tai chi , taekwondo, karate, to the students. Logan hung by a tree watching over.

"Hey," Rogue forced herself to interrupt him. She didn't want to disturb him, but knew he needed his equipment. "Found this." She dangled the band on one finger.

"Thanks." He grinned at her from the window. She tossed it to him and he slipped it on.

Rogue hesitated, but chanced to say something before leaving. "No worries."

"Wait," he said, "Rogue."

"Yeh, Warren?"

"Angel."

"Angel," she repeated.

"I prefer it."

Rogue nodded, at a loss for what to say.

"Within good reason I believe." She flashed her bright eyes and a brighter smile. He came closer.

Not one to back down, Rogue stood her ground, not understanding his game. He leaned against the doorway next to her. "You know, I never noticed before, but you have true emerald eyes." He laughed. "It compliments your garnet hair."

Her eyes darted to the side. "Eh, thanks." _I guess_.

"Your white looks life a feather in your hair."

That got her attention and she looked over to him. He cocked his head to the side and his blond mane fell onto his shoulders. Warren's white feathers stood up on his wings. It was too much for her, and way to apparent what was going on.

"Sorry, Angel." Rogue said his name like an endearment. "I can't help you there."

"What?" Warren said with a confused look.

"We both know you're tryin' to make Bets jealous."

"Oh, Rogue," he laughed. "So full of delusions."

He winked at her before leaving. Rogue gathered that he was agreeing but wasn't going to say as much. Rather Rogue knew that he knew that what she said and knew was true. they were friends, but nothing more. Maybe another time, another place, but not this time and place.

Her head still spun at the fact of another issue to deal with, luckily the disaster had been averted. She could just see Betsy freaking out on her. Or Logan threatening the winged playboy. It was bad enough to have ten thousand other people and worries in her head, Rogue didn't need one more. One more. She was still pushing everyone out of her head, but they kept pushing each other around as well. It was utter chaos in her head.

"I told you," John laughed, "Cyke is pmsing."

"I would offer him some midol if I thought it would help," Kitty made a face.

Rogue remained quiet as her friends made jokes. Cyclops had ripped everyone a new asshole with his disappointment in their performances. His claim was that the enemy would not be easy on them, so neither would he. Teamwork, teamwork, teamwork. He went on for an hour and a half on the flaws of the day, yet another hour on the whole week and month, and if Storm hadn't intervened, he would have gone into every X-man's flaws. So the day ended on a relatively low mood.

"He is right, you know." Bobby didn't manage to sound as convinced as he usually did. His first few days back had been rough, Scott had given him no leeway.

"He could have given you some recovery time." Jubes patted him.

Rogue watched her friends as if she weren't there, as if she were watching from a distance, or on TV. She could almost hear their thoughts before they said them, like her hearing was off, the parts of them with her, she knew enough to know how they would react.

"He already did." Bobby sighed. "I need to, we all need to, up our game and do our jobs."

"Right." John sighed, having heard it all a million times.

"As for a shiny change of topic," Kitty pointed away, "Are we still going to go get a new movie tonight? I could use a stress breaker."

John grinned and Bobby shrugged. The fire wielder prodded the iceman, poking him in the ribs, the latter finally giving in with a small smirk. "Okay."

"Goody," Kitty clapped her hands together, in her best fifties girl routine.

Jubes cocked an eyebrow at the lot, but Rogue didn't see. All she could see was Kitty and Bobby in her head. Kissing. It had been so burned into her brain as of late, it didn't upset her as it did before, but it disturbed her she couldn't control it. she couldn't see beyond it. she blinked hard, and successively. The image didn't move, but then gradually shifted. She heard her friends voices.

"You okay, Roguey?" Jubes put her hand on her friend's shoulder.

"Yeh," she lied. "Just, I think I scratched my eyes."

"Let me see."

Rogue couldn't tell who said it, but she ducked away. All she could now see was Jean and Logan. It was even more disturbing to see those two because she felt extremely out of place. The kiss was intimate, passionate, and yet not, it was so complicated, complex even, that as an outsider she couldn't understand. But the Logan in her had feelings bubbling around.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," Rogue said. "I'll see y'all when you get back."

She quickly ducked out and headed for her room. She fell down on the nearest mattress, but sitting on the bed brought no comfort so she flew out the window and up to the roof. Her room smothered her, at least up on the roof she was outside. She found Remy sitting up having a smoke, but it didn't bother her. It was a relief to be around someone she hadn't absorbed, no foreign memories, images, voices, or feelings came to her. Mostly. Remy still had some foreign affect on her.

He looked over but said nothing. Rogue was not going to break the silence either. So they sat. Finally, when his final drag gave out, the smoke used up, he flicked away where it joined many a dead soldier.

"Long day?"

He surprised her by asking, by even speaking, let alone first. She wasn't sure how to respond after her strange day, bizarre week. First Drake, then Angel, and Cyclops exploding. Her visions from Logan hadn't yet disappeared.

"I suppose one could say that." But then again, they were all long days.

"It's not just Cyclops," Rogue started. "I mean, it's never been easy."

"_Oui_."

"All in a day's work." _You just need to shut up_, Rogue told herself. _What has got you so chatty?_

"I'm not too harried by Scott." She told him.

"No need t' be." Gambit agreed.

"After all, I think he has his own problems. Right? I mean, bein' a leader isn't easy. Not that I'm tryin' to sound like Drake here, but I know we're not an easy lot to corral." She kept talking, she wasn't sure why. Stress. No doubt, it was the stress. "He could be a powerhouse, but he isn't because he has control over himself. That is enviable."

"Not to be a powerhouse?"

"His absolute control over his life. He could punch a whole through a mountain with his eyes, but the one who stops him is him. Can you imagine an evil Cyclops? Cyke needs to be in control, cuz no one else will do it for him. He" Rogue said. "I can relate to that."

Gambit shrugged.

"I mean, some one has to be the pain in the ass leader, right? Better him than me." Rogue let it go at that. she wasn't overly fond of the leader, there were some issues there. but then again, she wouldn't really want, or couldn't really picture any one else, in charge. It was either self-control, or no control with Scott. She got that.

"Sometimes control be de only t'ing y' got, an' dats not sayin' much." Gambit pulled a leaf of a nearby tree. "If y' fightin' so hard fo' control, somet'ing else must be wrong."

"I guess." Rogue leaned her chin onto her hands gloomily. The cajun's comments sounded all too true, per usual.

"I just got so much goin' on inside my head, it hurts." She told him, she didn't know why, but she did. "I feel like if I don't control it, it'll take me."

Remy didn't say anything. Just watched her. she continued. "It's so hard to know what to think or do sometimes cuz I have a thousand voices in my head. It's never been a problem before, but I think…well, I think I need to deal with it. Not repress it, ya know? That's why I wish I had the kind control Scott has. The kind that everyone doesn't understand and rips him about."

"Sometimes it not be about control, chere," he said casually. "Sometimes it be about channeling." He seemed half-focused as he filled his leaf with energy. He glance up at her with grinning eyes.

Rogue watched him, looking at her. She couldn't help but smile at his peculiar eyes. She liked the excitability it stirred in her, those black red lights. Most peoples eyes act as windows to the soul, or so the saying goes, but Remy's were like spotlights, big, brilliant, and not letting anyone in, but seeing into others.

He didn't look away. He never did. The look of his always teased her, tempted her. She had yelled at him many times before about it. but she still liked it. Rogue was fairly certain he didn't look at anyone else like that. In the moment, frozen but not, he seemed to be amused that she was meeting his gaze for longer and longer. His sideways smile and crooked eyebrow suggested he was encouraged by her.

Channeling, Rogue thought, as she made a move to control something without completely smothering it (ala Cyclops). She reached her had forward and covered Remy's mouth. His eyebrows shot up together in surprise. But before he spoke, or she lost her nerve, she leaned forward and kissed the back of her hand, placed strategically over his lips. Remaining so close to his face, inches away from the ghostly eyes, she paused, trying to see into him and read the reaction of the man who gave no reactions. She was mesmerized.

Remy slowly pulled hand down from his mouth, and just as slowly, incredibly calm and careful, leaned towards her touched his lips to hers.

She felt nothing. And she felt something. She felt her heart bubbling up, coming into her throat, her fear threatening to choke the life from her, strangle words from her mouth, cries for help. But then, she noticed she felt nothing else. She felt no surge of energy, no memories invading her. She had no creeping sensations entering her veins, no new powers or life energy spikes or drains. She only felt Remy.

The kiss wasn't long, but for someone who kissed so rarely, it was long enough. In shock, she was disbelieving as he gently pulled away from her. Part of her almost cried out 'No!' She now saw the black and red mystery eyes had turned the tables on her once again and were staring into her.

Neither spoke, but the roof top door squeaked open, breaking the silent moment. Neither looked over for a second, each awakening from the privacy. A moment not easily broken. But, both turned then to look. The wind had caught the door she thought. Rogue twisted around, not bothering to get up and she felt her hand graze Gambit's. She smiled inwardly, but was caught as she pulled into him. Unlike the kiss, her powers flicked on and she felt a memory snap to her brain even as her hands warmed. The wall under her grew red but she didn't see, she only saw a strange woman with angry eyes in her mind.

"_Chere_," she heard Remy call to her from very far away. "Don' move y' hand."

Rogue blinked away the image from her eyes and saw that Remy was no longer sitting beside her but standing above her, his face leaning down next to hers. She looked down and saw that she had filled the wall they sat on with kinetic energy. She must've touched him and left her hand on the wall when she saw that woman. She had released his energy without intention, which surely meant it would explode if she weren't careful.

"What do I do, Remy?" she quivered, not taking her eyes from her hand.

"Jus' try and take de energy back in."

Right, Rogue thought. Reverse the flow, just as she had done with Logan's healing factor for Bobby. She didn't remember what the intake of Gambit's power felt like. Bobby's had always had a notable chill, obviously. But Rogue thought of Logan again, knowing he was still swimming around in her head. Once more, she picture she had his claws, instead of shooting them out, she imagined drawing them in, like she drew peoples powers in. It was difficult to control the latter, so she pictured the claws to help her.

She heard Remy's sigh of relief. When she opened her eyes, she saw that he sat next to her, facing the opposite way, his back to the open view. She hadn't figured him for a nervous type, but could imagine the anxiety if someone else with your powers, not knowing how to use them. The woman, who was the woman though?

A flood of women entered her mind: Jean, the mystery blond, Kitty, herself—a strange picture still to see, other women and girls, Jubes, Betsy, then John, Peter, Kurt, and more. Pictures from everyone's past flipped through her brain like a slide show. She had to claw her way out of it to be free. She stood up, unaware, and nearly fell off the balcony of the roof.

"Easy der, chere." Gambit caught her.

She laughed half awkwardly, half amused. "Thanks."

He tossed up an eyebrow, giving her an appraising look, but a doubtful eye. He knew she was acting weird, and she knew it was time for her to go. "Thanks for everything cajun."

She lifted in to the sky, in eagerness to get away from the pressure building on her. It was not Gambit that scared her off, but his little bit mind in her mind, Logan's memories, thoughts and feelings messing her up, the pictures from Bobby. Everyone's blasted thoughts but her own. She flew off from the rooftop, and around down the mansion and into her room, going straight to bed.

**Sorry so long. Haven't forgotten, Jus been busy. There still be plenty left…jus needs to get written…Gambit is Freakin hot, non?**


	9. Danger in the Dangerroom

The next morning came, the sun still hiding low and all was dark. Rogue wished she could sleep in, she hadn't done that in months, years even. She never slept in. Too much had to be done. But for once she took the time to wish it was already done instead of just getting up and doing it. She curled up tighter, then stretching out and forcing herself up.

Going through the motions helped and didn't. She dragged a brush through her hair without realizing it, she dressed in a daze. She was so tired despite the half drank coffee cup in her hand. Her mind was fog, thoughts everywhere, but she avoided them to think nothing.

She found herself in the team meeting when she finished waking up. She wished otherwise yet again and let herself slip a little a way. She couldn't be cognizant without seeing everyone around her and having them in her head. They were still there, murmuring effecting her, but she didn't have the strength to deal with it, so she didn't. it was the best laid plan, she surely knew, but it was all she could do. She didn't want to hear Logan's would-be thought on Jean, Bobby's babbling apologies or hero-worshipping, Kitty's love issues, Jubes firecracking explosions, or any of the others. She wouldn't even let herself think of who those others included. She knew.

As she headed down to fight, she was stopped by Storm. She heard the woman talking at her, but nodded or shook her head. She remained as neutral as possible, knowing Ororo couldn't read her mind, thank god Jean hadn't stopped her. The neutrality in her expressions only reinforced her assurance that everything was fine with her, it didn't give her away.

Rogue did reprimand herself as she went down the steps to training. She needed to pull it together to fight. She could avoid people all she wanted and fake normality, but with the machines and holographic fighting, she needed to be on. No games.

"It's not a game," she said aloud.

The battle went as battles tend to, with much explosions and noises, Rogue found small pleasures in driving her fist through walls and machinery. She settled down when she heard the warning bell chime, the session had ended, or was pausing. Everyone ended their own fights as the foes suspended.

Cyclops babbled on about his usual spiel before priming his hand at his visor. "Ready, Jean."

And then the 'war' began again. Perfectly happy to fight by herself, Rogue kept to the upper airway of the room, only having to occasionally share it with Storm and the various baddies. When no more were in the air, she was forced to come to the ground and fight. But the enemies were few.

She stood, looking down at the mechanical hand grasping her leg, trying to climb up it. She tried to shake it off but ripped it from her leg and threw it against the wall.

"Nice, _Chere_. Dat works too."

Gambit leaned against his Bo, the staff longwise and his arms crossed around it. His grin tripped his features.

Rogue felt a nuzzling in her brain, like a headache trying to come forth, but she wouldn't have it. She opened her mouth to speak before she really had anything to say to him.

"Watch it, Rogue!" She heard the call. The time slowed and Rogue idly wondered if someone could control the passing of time with mutation.

She turned, indifferently, and looked over to what she was supposed to be ducking from. She watched as the blast came straight for her, part of her asked the rest of her if she wished to move. But she watched. She watched the force hit her, feeling it in her chest, but her invincibility cut the sensation. She felt something on her back before she blacked out.

***

Rogue slammed through one wall after another, and the battle quickly drew to a close and the rest of the team finished their components. Trained to fight on, few did. Everyone saw Rogue blankly eye the shot and it claimed her before she could respond.

From the control room, Jean couldn't keep track of all the commotion, she didn't need to. She was there to shut down the system on such a injury. She waited for Rogue to fly back into the action as she had always done. But when the feisty girl didn't show a few minutes later, Jean ended the session.

"Is she okay?"

The holographic walls fell and a few members streaked over to see if Rogue were okay. Gambit, already there, had picked her up from where the rumble had been. Despite the fake walls, the injuries were real enough. Rogue wore gashes about her face and ripped clothing. She hung limp in the cajun's arms.

"De Rogue be out," he said.

"Is she okay?" Jubes ran over to see more closely.

"Take her to the infirmary and Jean can administer," Cyclops directed. "A bump on the head, nothing more."

A bump, nothing more, a few hours later had not left Rogue, the girl hadn't woken up. Beast and Jean saw to her, attaching various machines and running the sundry tests. When night came, and the machines and tests showed no conclusive results, they began to worry.

"Rogue is a very strong body," Jean said. "I am not sure what we are missing."

"She does not have Logan's regenerative abilities, she recovers at a normal rate." Beast looked at his clipboard, reading carefully and marking just as so.

"I knew I heard my ears burnin'," the gruff voice stomped into the room.

"Wolverine," Jean started. "Logan."

"Let's go about this the easy way." He pulled off his motorcycle gloves. "I was never one for gadgets, myself."

He reached forward and touched Rogue's cheek with his hand, cupping her face. He frowned. Flipping his hand around and then bring in his other hand as well, he felt her. A harsh breath, a growl, escaped him.

"What? What is it?" Jean and Beast quickly asked.

"Marie?" Logan asked her, ignoring the others. He tried and tried, again and again, to get her skin and his to take contact. All he felt was skin, no grip or force taking him or invading him.

Logan felt the hand on his shoulder and his back, but it didn't cut the feeling ,or lack there of, of Rogue's skin, his forehead against hers.

"She is fine, the tests show." Beast was explaining to the Professor when Logan looked up, he wasn't sure how long it had been.

Logan scoffed in his gruff manner. "She is not fine."

"Whatever is wrong with Rogue," Jean said, "it is not physical. Her Mental barriers are closed as well, Professor."

"You didn't want to "invade?" he gestured. "You believe it is self-inflicted?"

Jean shifted, noticing the other X-men appearing in the room. "She has placed herself, unwillingly or not, I have no idea, in an untouchable place."

"No place is untouchable," Wolverine said.

"You're right," Prof X nodded, "but for now, it is best to wait a day and see. The poor child might simply be tired. I will check on her tomorrow morning." He turned around to the rest of the room. "As for the rest of you, Rogue is in no great peril. Her invincibility kept her from being too badly bruised. The best we can do for her until she is ready is to give her space."

He looked at Wolverine and Logan, Beast and Storm, Cyclops and Bobby, and sent the thoughts out into the hall where he knew young girls lurked, unsure. And in a dark corner, one cajun.

**Sorry so short, wanted to put something up since it has been so long. hang in there.**


	10. MIA

Logan walked into the hospital wing of the mansion, through the fancy automatic steel doors that wooshed at body proximity. Down the hallway, he saw Kitty asleep, sideways in three uncomfortably looking chairs outside Rogue's room. Bobby sat nearby. Wolverine stopped, noting the oddness of his position. He sniffed, a characteristically Logan sound of disapproval, before ducking into the room.

The sniff that came as he exited the room confirmed what his first whiff had suggested to him, unaware as he was. Rogue's scent was in the hallway, but no Rogue in the room. She'd flown away, whether figuratively or literally, the girl was gone.

Smashing his fist against the nearest intercom, he growled into it, enough to wake up the sleeping mini-Xers nearby.

"What?" Kitty looked up and around.

"Wolverine," Bobby said, sitting up.

Wolverine looked back to Kitty, wondering if she were sleeping of her own nature, or she her powers had been nipped from a skunky-stripped red-headed punk. His snarl came out barely under his breath. "Rogue."

But the others heard him. "Where is she?" they asked when looking in the window. "Where did she go?"

Logan didn't waste his breath on useless answers for stupid questions. Instead he made his way for the meeting room, hoping the two x-lings would catch on and be smart enough to follow.

***

"It isn't like Rogue to run from something of this magnitude," Scott said.

"But perhaps it is not Rogue with whom we are dealing." Jean flushed.

"Rogue doesn't run from fights."

"Well, she's not here is she?" Angel crossed his arms in front of him as he wings twitched in a bored and flustered manner behind him.

Logan opened his mouth to speak, but clamped it shut. What had stayed his body from simply going after the girl? He never felt the need to call the girl scouts in before. His eyes slid over to the Professor. He knew the answer before he placed the question. "I can go after her."

"No. I think it is best we let her sort herself out. If there are more voices in Rogue's head than hers, only she can untangle it."

"But, professor," Jubes started, but quickly dropped her question, as if her mouth were working faster than her brain. "Sorry."

The professor would not interfere because he could solve her problems for her, but they would simply come back again, and no doubt in force. Rogue had problems that she needed to solve on her own. It was her life and she had choices to make and needed to learn how to live it, and live with herself. And very possibly, live with the voices in her head.

The others remained quiet as all pondered the unsaid. Storm resisted the gathering storms in her and outside. Beast quietly sat with his hand folded before him. Gambit leaned against a back wall, unreadable as always, but no cards being shuffled in his hands. Betsy fiddled with her nails, resisting the urge to bite them. Others fidgeted or remained as calm as possible. None speaking for an unbearably long and rigid space.

"She'll be back," John looked around. "Right?"

***

**Sorry it has been so long. will try to update soon. THX all, you rock!**


	11. Down South

Rogue walked down the alley. The music came from all sides, the smells of deep fried southern goodness wafted to her. It warmed her stomach and turned it at the same time to be home. Or at least so close to home. When she spoke, people didn't eye her strangely for her deep drawl, they smiled. Not the amused smile, but a welcome smile, like they spoke the same language.

She still got strange looks for her attire, long gloves in the heat, but the lacy versions or fishnets made people just think she was a silly rebellious youth. Her hair attested to it as well. Little did they know she was old enough to have outgrown such things, but her sweet southern eyes could turn on the innocence should she so choose.

She entered the bar and tossed a smile to the regulars, the welcoming calls and hollers, which could still be heard over the southern rock blasting from the old fashioned jukebox. She slipped behind the bar, dropped her belongings down under the counter.

"Aw, Cherry," a regular called, "When are ya gonna marry me, eh?"

She smiled sweetly, repressing the eye-roll that begged her for release. "Soon as ya pay yah tab, Johnny."

"You really gonna make me wait that long?"

She laughed as she lifted up the bar door, dumping her purse under the counter. She fell into work, scrubbing pint glasses and mixing drinks, pouring beers and laughing at stupid jokes. After a few hours she begged off for a cigarette in the back. Once she got out back, she heaved a sigh of relief for the break. She set out her box of smokes, never using them as more than a prop should someone come along, she sat on a crate.

She was exhausted and bored in the same moment, jaded and searching at the same time. Five months at the seedy bar had been enough to clear her mind. So she thought, but she still didn't know what to do. She wasn't ready to go home…but she had no home she reminded herself. Her old home was too crazy, too much, she wasn't sure where she belonged anymore.

She took her lighter and rolled the wheel to strike the flint, the flame jumped to life. she moved a finger through the fire and entertained herself for a moment. When her finger was in the flame, she could feel it, but also not, her invulnerability protecting her somewhat. She extinguished the lighter, gathered her props, and with a heaved sigh, stood up and went back inside before she changed her mind.

It was always an option she told herself. She could walk away. She had done it many times before. why not know? She moved through the back, a pitiful kitchen where bar food was, not baked or cooked, but fried. Through the double doors, she avoided the bathroom runs some drinkers were making and passed by the corner booth to remain out of the way.

She stopped. The smoke was thick but she recognized the red eyes through the haze and she felt the heat of being watched. As casually as she could manage she moved towards the him.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

"Remy could ask you the same, no?" Gambit smiled. He leaned back, his arms behind his head as he stretched. "Da Rogue gone rogue, eh?"

"I, eh," Rogue sat. Deciding she need not justify herself, she crossed her arms and leaned on the table. "So?"

"How's the jambalaya?" he smiled one of those smiles.

"Fried."

"Gambit," she started. "Remy."

He cocked a brow at her.

"Why ya here?" her accent came thick, she knew, but he smiled.

"This you den?"

"This is me, yeh." A part anyway, she thought.

"Please, don' come in here, tellin' me that y'all need me back. It don' work that way. I don' work that way." She told him. after a pause, she couldn't hold back. "I don' wanna work that way."

"Remy not here fo' nothin'." He shrugged. "Least, not what da rogue thinkin'."

Rogue didn't speak, not sure how to answer or what he could possibly want. She wasn't prepared to ask either. The jukebox lit to life, blasting a little southern rock over the sounds of the street music outside.

"I left because it became too much. Everyone inside my head?" she shook it at that thought. it took a month alone for the voices to quiet.

"What?" He leaned over the table to ask her.

"I said," she spoke louder, leaning towards him, "It was too many people in me."

His look questioned her again, she couldn't even her his 'what' over the chorus and drunks singing. "Too much!"

"Why don't you just turn it off?" he, sitting now beside her, shouted in her ear.

Turn it off. Turn it off. Turn…it...off...

Rogue sat up in a start, panting. Her hand against her heart she felt the thumping of her heart. She screwed up her face as she listened to the sounds of nothing around her. She was in the woods. Only the sounds of nature and not people and mischief.

Her head returned to her. She was still close to the mansion. she had only left the mansion a few days ago, needing some fresh air. She had never intended to flee, but the fields and woods had been so peaceful.

She crossed her legs under her, and couldn't help but think about her dream. She had run away, had all but given up her powers, had tried to have a normal life. Is that what she wanted?

"And that blasted Cajun," she said. Why had he been in her dream? She knew but wasn't about to admit it.

She shook her head, dirt and leaves falling out. She stood up and brushed her body off. What to do now?

"Dreams aside," she told herself, "This is reality."

She headed home.

**Short, but sweet. A seed has been planted in Rogue, hopefully she will let it grow. She is solving her own problems I believe. Albeit in a strange manner. But that Remy, I think he will play more of a part…heh heh heh.**


	12. The Return

**Apologies for such a delay.**

Rogue entered the mansion, steeling herself for worry and ridiculous comments, but she didn't see anyone. She headed for Professor X's office and politely knocked on the door. He answered in her head to wait a moment, and soon the children opened the door, chatting after class and leaving for lunch.

"Hi Rogue," they called, unaware of her absence.

She was slightly put off but pleased as well that they hadn't known she was gone. She didn't do it to be missed. In the end, she was relieved.

"Hello Rogue," Xavier said.

"Hi," she sat sheepishly in a chair. "I'm sorry for—"

"Don't worry about it. You have returned."

"It was silly. I—I just needed some space."

"We understand." He cleared his throat. "But you do understand that training must resume?"

"Yes, of course."

"And perhaps therapy?"

She didn't speak.

Of course she didn't want to start—restart therapy, but she wanted to be, no she was, an X-man. Less than desirable parts went with the job. She nodded, but couldn't hold back the sigh. At least she was going to do it, X could live with that she figured.

"And Rogue," he said before she opened the door to leave, "We're glad to have you back."

She smiled, it was small, but as pleased as before to have a nice comment of return. She hoped she hadn't stirred anyone up.

…Like Bobby. Everything ached in Rogue to groan as she walked to her room, but the new Rogue, the one deep within her, struggling to emerge, held her head high. She would deal with it.

"Besides," she told herself, "it's not like you planned to have ten thousand and one voices in your head…It must've been that last voice that did it…"

"And now you're talking to yourself." She rolled her eyes at herself. Her lips twitched a smile.

"Rogues do that, no?"

She turned around from opening her bedroom door and saw Gambit leaning against the wall. His arm propped him up in only the most charismatic and attractive way possible. Rogue's eyes danced away at that thought.

"Rogues do a lot a things." _Oh, because that wasn't poignant._ _Sheepish, Rogue, Sheepish._

Gambit took a breath, as if to say something, and appeared to change his mind. He shifted his jaw. "De Rogue be missed, by some. Remy may may not be one 'f dem." He shot her a grin.

"It's only been a few days," She stopped herself just short of saying his name. She gave a shrug.

"When a body disappears, one notices."

She didn't know what to say, but he said nothing as well. His steady red gaze was held on her, before he smirked and walked off. She wasn't sure how long she stood in the hallway, but finally Rogue came back to her senses and entered her room for some clean clothes.

Freshly cleansed and clothed, Rogue made her way to the team, for she knew, even if the kids hadn't missed her absence, the team had. She realized the real brunt of her entrance would fall on them, for she had in essence abandoned them for a short while. They might not be as diplomatic as the Professor.

She entered the control room to find that Jean Grey and Cyclops were running through a session with some of the others. He lifted a gaze to her, gave a nod and went back to work. Jean Grey, sweet as ever, offered a smile. Rogue still held out on the thought that Scott would have words with her when he could devote his whole attention to her.

"Good." Cyclops stopped the session after half an hour. "Head on up."

Nightcrawler was there within a few seconds, and squeezed Rogue's shoulder as he passed by.

Gradually, a few other team members came in. No one outloud commented on her return. Rogue guesses some knew and some didn't. Angel was rather clueless, and Iceman was red and silent.

She couldn't help that. Even if she caused it. Why should she even take credit for that, she wondered. Part of her wanted to, and then the other part said what he felt is what he felt, she couldn't control that. Guilt tried to persist in her, but she refused. She needed an escape, and to clear her head. It was mental health. He should understand that. He was supposed to be her friend after all. If he felt more that was—

"Rogue?" Scott interrupted her thought process. Jean somewhat frowning behind him

Rogue fought back her glare she had ready to flip on Jean for invading her thoughts. Again. Like that helped with someone who had a few thousand too many people in there already. "Yes, Cyclops, I'm ready."

He nodded down to the room, silently saying 'go on, then.'

She headed down to her first exercise since being pummeled through the wall and her meltdown. Next to her, Storm and Jubilee entered the room. Kitty remained behind in the control tower, along with Kurt, Bobby, and the others. Gambit entered in behind them with Pyslocke and Pyro.

He flicked a card at John, just to warm up, the latter engulfing the card in his own fire and smothering the explosion to a pop.

"Here it goes," Rogue said under her breath.

* * *

_Maybe you're being the hardest on yourself_, Rouge thought. None of her teammates had said anything to her. Avoiding trouble, and or really good friends. Rogue was finally ready to breathe out her tension.

"You break alotta hearts, you know that?"

It caught her off guard, but the cut would have been the same either way, if she'd seen it coming or not. She turned around. It was exactly who she knew it'd be. Logan.

"I won't say 'it's not my fault,'" she said, "But it's not my intention."

"I'll make sure to let everyone know."

"Don't—" she started before he interjected.

"Don't you give me attitude." The rumble in him was typical Logan fight response gearing up.

She laughed, not out of humor, but self-deprecation. "I was just gonna say don't think you can berate me anymore than I do myself."

He looked sheepish and slightly apologetic as soon as she said that. The look was so slight, only one who knew him well could decipher his variety of frowns and sneers.

"Look," she was just going to let it out. Therapy with Logan would be better than Therapy with X. "I don't expect anyone to understand, but I just needed a break. I guess, I have a bit more sympathy for Jean Grey, always knowing what everyone is thinking and feeling.

It was crowded. I didn't even know which thoughts were mine anymore. I'm sorry if you got hurt."

"Who said I got hurt?" his arms crossed in front of his chest.

_Whatever_. She wasn't going to touch that can of worms. "I just—I'm trying to make sense of all this."

He softened, as much as Wolverine could in a given conversation. He nodded. "Get some sleep, kid."

She dug into herself for a smile. It was a strange conversation and she didn't know what to make of it. She went to her bedroom and lay on the bed. Kitty looked up from her journal.

"We missed you."

Rouge smiled, a thank you.

"I'm sorry, that you had all that stress." She shrugged. "And if I contributed at all—"

"'s okay." Rogue soothed her. "Wasn't you, shug."

Kitty looked relieved. Rogue couldn't blame her. Kitty went back to her book, then looked up one more time. "I'm glad you're back."

"Glad to be back."

Rogue turned on her side and shut off her own light to get some sleep. She wasn't sure how easily or swiftly it would come, but she was sure it would be good, a dreamless repose meant for refueling energy. She couldn't ask for more at the moment. She shut her eyes.

"You know, the strangest thing was that Logan couldn't transfer his healing to you. Your skin was not having it."

Rogue's eyes stayed open all night.


	13. Dealing with Drake

"I turned it off?" Rogue asked Professor Xavier in therapy the next day. "I just turned it off? How is that even possible? I have absorbed cat and dog thoughts when they have slept next to me in my sleep."

"Beast and Jean ran several tests, and no conclusions were drawn save that your own subconscious took control of your powers."

"And Jean?"

"Respected the barrier you erected," Xavier said. "It was clear that you were taking personal measures to attend to yourself. We left you to it."

A ray of appreciation gripped her, but she felt the shadow of abandonment as well. _Who are you to cry abandon?_ She asked herself. The other part of her reprimanded herself for starting yet another fight within herself. _We need to work together_.

She looked over and saw the Prof's eyes watching her, somewhat amused, but studying her as well. "So what now?"

"What do you feel?"

_When did my therapy go all psychology? _"I am wondering what is going on. My brain is full, my body is not itself. What is going on?"

Xavier did not answer for a long time, no matter how hard Rogue stared at him. "Change is inevitable. It is what we are made of. Marie, I believe you are simply in the midst of metamorphosis."

"So, I'm not going to grow a tail right?" she ducked her head when he didn't laugh. "I mean, I'm me, right?"

"We will follow your progress and monitor it accordingly."

That was a dismissal if she ever heard one. She gathered up her coat and bag and bobbed her head in thank you and good bye, as he turned his attentions elsewhere. The door did not hit her on her way out.

"I swear it makes it worse." She said more to herself. Therapy, she gave her best Wolverine humph.

All day she had to wait for a chance to talk to him for half an hour? She was going on no sleep, suspense eating her alive. And that is the best he could do…'we'll see.'

"Now…" she bit her lip. "Now, to make amends…or deal with …stuff."

Bobby wasn't in the lounge. He wasn't outside, in the warroom, dangerroom, garage, hanger, his room, and every other place Rogue could think of checking.

Without tapping the Bobby in her mind, she asked herself where she would be, were she him. And as it goes, what you seek is in the last place you check. Rogue found him where she would be were she furious. She spent much time there herself in recent time.

Drake was in the gym, but had set the hologram on, as he had the treadmill on severe incline, the appearance of jogging up a hill. He was sweating, and Rogue smiled at his nice muscular body. He didn't stir her blood the way he might have in the past, but she could certainly admire a nice view.

She opened the door and wished for the best. "I forgot how focused you are."

His concentration broke and he looked at her but didn't stop running. He looked up and gasped for breath, in a way that one who has much mentally and physically competing for attention. "Can be."

"Mind if I join you?" Rogue hesitated.

He paused for a minute. Looking at her then away. The best he could muster was a shrug before picking his pace back up.

Rogue kept pace with him, not pushing it any more than that. They could speak when done. She ran and felt the sting of stirring up her legs. It had been a while. Even though it was simply an illusion, she still felt the exhilaration when they reached the peak and surveyed the scene as both caught their breath. Calm settled in her.

"Nice view." Bobby finally looked at her.

She smiled at him and gave a nod. "It is."

She wanted to talk to him, ask him if they were friends, if he still felt anything for her, if he had a thing with Kitty, if, what, why, when. So many questions that it annoyed her to even think of asking. She sat on a rock and stretched out her legs, giving her calves a rub.

"Rogue." He did it. "Let's have some honesty between us. Things aren't going to be the same."

First, Rogue caught that he had resisted calling her by her given name. And wasn't sure what to think of it. But secondly, she wasn't sure if the last part was a statement or question.

"I suppose not."

_It hasn't been the same since Carol._ Rouge wanted to say. But she thought he had only begun to realize.

He stared at the peaks in the distance and she sensed a change in him. Her mini-abandonment had hurt him. She could see it. But perhaps he knew what of his had been flowing through her head. He eyes turned back to her. And she tried for the life of her to read them.

"Just as unreadable as ever." He half-smiled to himself and looked back at her. "You must put voice to your thoughts or I'll never know."

"You know me. I never have any thoughts in my head."

His lack of reaction told her he didn't appreciate her jab. He didn't smile. Instead, his eyes watched her without hesitance or secrecy and his expression became clear. Just watching her he smiled now. And his demeanor softened.

Uncomfortable and feeling like she stepped in something squishy, Rogue shifted. She did not like to be blatantly admired like she was a piece of art. She was destructive, powerful, flawed, and a mess, nothing to stare at.

"What?" she wanted to ask, but didn't. She fidgeted back to look at him and saw that he was stone again. The sun was hid behind clouds and the silence stretched out.

Drake finally broke through not able to hide the ice in his voice. "I don't know what you see in him."

Rogue looked at him, completely blank. Who him? Wolverine? Logan was the longest, most steadfast, unreliable and disheartening man in her life. For his faults, she did love him though.

"Logan is only half as scary as he likes to act. Still scary…"

Drake looked away and shot some ice at a tree. He scoffed to himself.

"What is your deal against Logan? I mean, I know you are on team Cyke, but," she shrugged. He wanted to get her talk, so now she was, and he was stomping around shooting snowballs at the fake forest?

He stifled his sigh, she could see. "Gambit. I don't know what you see in Gambit."

Rogue didn't know either. Perhaps is what they she didn't see into him. She touched him and didn't have all his memories and abilities, like she did with the others. All the drama of their lives, it was too much, it has driven her away.

But that wasn't true. Her kiss with Gambit, she didn't feel anything but the pleasure and skin, at the spook that came after she brushed his skin and saw that woman. Rogue had forgotten her until now. She hadn't the nerve to ask him who it was at the time.

"I," Rogue stuttered. "I don't know. Uh. What do you mean?"

Bobby sighed. "I decided not to go to the movie, and came up to the roof to find you. And I saw you. And him." He looked away.

"I didn't know what to do so I just left." He looked back at her, a pang in his eyes. "I, eh.."

He drifted off to nothing. Rogue grimaced and broke free with the truth. "And it went awry. I about blew up the wall."

_Awkward…_ Rogue wondered is perhaps she shouldn't have admitted to that. Even though he saw their kiss, she didn't have to rub it in. _Ok, acknowledging is not rubbing. I was just trying to make him feel better….at my expense. _

"Is there no time left for us?" He picked up her hand, no longer gloved as much as she used to. But held ice between them

The drastic change in topic of Remy back to Drake surprised her and a bit unnerved her. She knew that Bobby had feelings for Kitty. Who didn't, but that was beside the point. The fact was they were different than when they met years ago. They were not the same people they once were and wanted new and different things. Why hold on to the past when it did them no good?

The silence said it all to Bobby, and he let go off her hand. It wasn't dropped, but reluctantly given up. He wasn't mad, but took a deep breath. Swallowed. He appeared composed again. He stood and offered his hand. She took it, standing up and they left the gym. Walking down the hall she measured the silence.

It was clear. That is how it was going to be. She and Bobby would never be able to talk about it—them, like it used to be—again. Honest with herself, Rogue found some relief in that. For her it was past. Bobby needed to have his present and future. He just needed to see it.

If she apologized, she risked all breaking down. She didn't want to have that conversation. She didn't want to do that to him. She couldn't change her feelings, she couldn't change what happened. They needed to move on.

He walked her to her room and smiled, soft and small, still hurt, but a gentleman to his core.

"G'nite."

She opened her door and didn't bother to turn on the lights. Kitty was up to no good no doubt…elsewhere. She walked over and fell into bed.

Immediately she jumped up with a uncharacteristic scream. Iceman was there before she knew it at her side, his body slicked in white.

"Dammit, Remy." She tried to catch her breath.

He didn't move from where he had been lounging on her bed, his arms folded behind his head, his legs crossed one over the other. Even with the quick and powerful entrance of Iceman, Gambit didn't stir, but smirked.

He kicked his legs up and sat up enough to lean against her headboard. "I like a helluva welcome."

Bobby, shook off his icy self and shifted a look to Rogue. An eyebrow raised, as if to say 'seriously, him? Over me?'

Rogue shifted under the gaze, and hoped Gambit couldn't see the exchange in the dark. She nodded to Bobby and moved him to the door. "I can handle it, Drake."

The look didn't leave her friend's face, but he shrugged, shaking his head. He left them to it.

"What the devily blaze are you doing here?" she asked him, walking back and turning on the light.

"Do me a favor, no? and leave the light off, 't hurts my eyes."

She rolled her eyes and shut it off. But opted to turn on a nearby lamp. He patted the bed next to him. At the side, she stood with her arms folded over her chest. "what?"

He made the motion for her to sit next to him again.

With a huff of frustration, she flopped on to the bed next to him, her bed, and brought her feet up to, mirroring his position so he'd get on with it.

Rather than again ask for an explanation she waited, watching him.

"Remy needs yo' help." He looked down at her.

"What? How so?"

"My kin, dey needin' m' help. Da guilds at war, but if Gambit could get in t'see de guildmasters, he know he could talk 'em outta't." he gestured dramatically as he described to her the house with the guards, and the way through.

"And you need me?" Rogue raised an eyebrow. "I can't be of help. I'm fair to useless at the moment."

"Non, Chere, Da Rogue help da Gambit, dat is how it works." He leaned closer to her. "Den Da Remy help da Rogue, when she be needin' it."

She was still in shock by his detailed plan. Wanting them to leave tomorrow to go to New Orleans.

"N'awlins, tomorrow?"

"You're serious?" she felt her heart wring.

"Non. But 't b' fun, yeh?" he laughed. He laughed even harder when she hit him for stringing her along.

"You need to get off my bed and go." She folded her arms and turned away from him.

"Aw, Chere," he reached over to pull her around, still laughing. And she smacked him again.

He moved his hand down to her waist and she burst out into giggles at her ticklishness.

"You," she gasped between breaths, "are a. Cruel. Man."

He stopped at that. Relieved for a moment, she recomposed. Then looked at him. She couldn't tell if he was feigning hurt, or that he took her serious. She poked him and he didn't say anything.

"Ok. I am sorry. You are not cruel."

Nothing.

"Really I'm sorry."

More nothing.

"Don't be like that."

"Y' too serious." He grinned.

She hit him again. But laughed. "I don't get you swamp rat." But she laughed.

She smiled as she squirmed to lay down. She hadn't had a good laugh in ages. Well, she didn't remember when. She didn't keep track after all.

"Ya t'ink too much, chere." He lay on his side next to her, his arm propped under the pillow.

As much as she did think and overanalyze, she now found herself not knowing what to think. A strange, and rather intoxicating man in her bed, inches from her. His red hair covered his eyes somewhat, and she reached over and swept it out of the way. She slowly took her hand back.

His eyes, peculiar, were engaging. Not glossy, not matte, but held a depth that surprised and somewhat intimidated her. But she couldn't look away.

He reached up and put his hand on her shoulder and it took her a moment to realize. She looked over and saw that he had his gloves on. Two fingers naked. And her shoulders were bare. No skin touched, but his touch made her shiver. She knew she had goose bumps.

She knew she wanted to kiss him.

But last time…but it wasn't the kiss that did it. It was the surprise of something else. Something she now knew to be Drake opening and then shutting the door. The last thing she needed now was Kitty to walk in. But Gambit was in front of her.

He smiled at her. Not his cocky teasing smile, but small, a corner of his mouth tugging as he seemed to be fighting it. Slowly she brought her hand up to his face. She looked from her hand to his face, focusing in and out as they were right in front of her.

_I can't._ She slowly brought her hand back down. His eyes followed.

Their eyes met again.

_You scared?_ His eyes asked her.

_Yes. And no._

She didn't want to be scared. Part of her wasn't. but most of her was.

Remy put his gloved hand to her cheek and she could see out of the corner of her eye that he held an unclothed finger away. He reached to her hand and slowly lifted it from her side. Ever so painfully slowly he moved it up to him, giving her every chance to pull it away. Not once did his eyes shift away from hers. Her hand was before his face and he moved even slower, making miniscule movement ever closer to his face. Finally, he had her hand near his lips. He looked down at her hand and leaned forward, closed his eyes and touched his lips to her fingertips.

After a long and very short second she made the smallest flick of her fingers to take them off his touch. But she didn't take back her hand or move it away.

His eyes drifted back up to hers, and she recognized the glint in them. Taking more of her hand, his fingers wrapped around hers. He softly, slowly, grazed it but not a cheating a peck, but a true kiss he placed on her. He quickly released her hand with his bare fingers and removed his lips, but not entirely away.

"I have control." He lingered for a few more seconds, nothing more, before standing up. He gazed down at her. A breath that she could see build up in his chest as he hunched his shoulders. His eyes never left her even as he turned away. He took to the balcony, quickly glanced over his shoulder before dropping out of sight.

Rogue took a breath and felt like she had been holding her breath the whole time. She rolled on to the rest of the bed and touched her fingers to her lips. A smile couldn't help but erupt.


	14. Figuring It Out

**Ok, I know it has been a long time since the last. Sorry. This is thrown up without edit. Just wanted to get something up to show I hadn't forgotten. I havve something in mind, obviously, just trying to figure out how to work it in just right. It is right there, but it needs help. **

"That's a goofy grin if I ever saw one," Kitty said as she entered and saw Rogue on her bed. "Is it Bobby? I just saw him in the hall are you guys talking?"

"Huh?" Rogue was brought back to the room from whatever fantasy had gripped her. "Yeah. We're friends again." She paused. "Nothing more. If someone wanted him."

Kitty shrugged as she fell onto her own bed. "Don't know who. He's been pining over you for so long, think everyone knows to stay away."

Rogue opened her mouth to say something and shut it again. She shrugged. "Things pass."

That night Rogue had dreams. They weren't anything that she could remember in the morning, but that left an imprint on her. She lay in bed when she awoke, trying to make sense of things when she didn't really know the reason.

A pillow hit her in the head and she broke out of her reverie. "Miz Lee, are you missin' a pillow?"

Jubilee had the most innocent face she could muster. So innocent, it told it all. Besides, her bed had no pillows on it. "Um, no. Not a one."

The other pillow lay on Kitty's bed, with a body dead to the world. Kitty was sleeping in, even as she threw the pillow across the room.

The team practice was all the same, and something amiss. Rogue went through the motions as usual, trying to find missing, but weird thought from the past few days and weird dreams in her head. She felt the weird sense of déjà vu without really believing it. She wasn't outside her body watching herself, but neither was she herself. She couldn't put her finger on it.

Cyclops had taken spot in the dangerroom that day, choosing to lead rather than to critique. Rogue was sure that he saw and felt a difference being involved than watching from afar. He called out directions as best as she could while he fought, which took most of his concentration. When the simulation came to an end he called everyone around.

"Good day today team." He panted a bit, but it quickly went away. "Just a few quick bits and we'll be done."

_Oh boy,_ Rogue thought. One, few and short were really not in Scott's vocabulary. Second, if he were making it short, he must have other plans for his night. She didn't really want to think about that part.

"I know I'm always harping on everyone to be a team, but also, don't rely on it, folks. We've—you've got to be able to hold your own against opponents. No one expects you to KO Juggernaut on your own, but you should be able to give him a struggle. We're X-Men. We fight 'til the end."

"Secondly, When it comes down to—" He was cut off as shots rang out across the room. The dangerroom was once again active.

Everyone broke apart, but the time they were ready to fight, the system had been shut down again. Rogue glanced to the rest, just as puzzled as she. Cyclops growled, unlike him and more like Wolverine. "I thought it had already been turned off!"

He dismissed the team as best he could and stomped up to the room to ream the attendant. Rogue didn't wait to see what 4th year he had trusted the job to. Perhaps it was a tried and true X-Men, she didn't care and was gone.

Spinning in her head were the words he had said. But she didn't know what or why._ ALREADY turned off. I thought it had already been turned off!_ What? She asked herself. _Ugh, get out and shut up._ She told herself.

She didn't even know where she walking and walked right into someone. She looked up. Her head cocked to the side.

"Couldn' stay away, non?"

"And what do ya want, swamp rat?"

"Wha' don' I want, Cherie?"

"Don't got time, Remy." She walked passed him. "I feel like I left my kid in the car or something. I don't know what, but something, I forgot something, or I need to do something."

"Gambit has dat effect." He grinned.

"Ya wish, _Swam Rat._" She gave him her best grin. Indulgent and amused. When he took that as encouragement and stepped closer, her insides wiggled.

"Last nite," he trailed off with a smile, and before she knew it his arm was around her waist and he was close to her.

He spewed his regular Cajun lines, and she half ignored them. She half listened too, but she would admit it to herself. She pulled away eventually. "You got some crazy notions, Cajun."

She walked off quickly before he could chase after her. She laughed as she did so, not to hurt his feelings. It wasn't she intended, but she needed the time alone undistracted to figure out some things. Something about her day wasn't coming together….

Even though she went through every minute or so of her day, Rogue couldn't place the oddity. Was it in fact the day? Or the night before? Remy, well, her brain did want to think about him. Her thoughts jumped to Logan. Was it something about him she was supposed to remember or do something about?

She fell back on to the couch in the lounge. Luckily it was deserted in the rec room. The younger kids were outside, the older ones studying or what not. She didn't really know or care anymore. She leaned back and stretched, secretly wishing she had the powers of telekinesis to bring her popcorn from across the room. She looked longingly at the counter.

"Rogue, is in fact a southern term for lazy," Bobby said as he walked in, catching her stretching towards the counter from across the room, making the jedi noise to pull the food to her by force.

She reddened. "yeah, well, guess it's better than yankee, for douche, also know in the OED as Bobby."

"Ah, how I will miss your lovely banter." He smiled, rather condescendingly at her.

"Miss? What?" she shook her head. "What are you talking about, Drake?"

He put his joking to the side and sat next to her. "I put in for a study abroad, if you will, and am trying to spend some time with another team. Scott thinks it will be good for me too, to see how other teams work, learn some new things."

"Oh."

"You sound disappointed." He actually sounded skeptical and it caught her even more.

"Of course, Bobby." She couldn't hide her hurt. "You are my friend….but if it's what you want."

He smiled. "I think it would be good for me. Yeah."

"For how long?" she asked

"Dunno. We'll see. Maybe a month, maybe a year. It all depends."

The awkward silence took over the room. The unsaid that kept coming between them, being said, and reverting to something other than. A something that would always be there.

"I need some time," he simply said.

"I," she stuttered. "I understand."

There wasn't much more she could say but that. She did and didn't understand. She couldn't reciprocate his feelings. That was one thing, but he couldn't be around and watch her and Gambit. That was the other thing.

"Well, you have to do what you have to do," she finally said.

"And so do you."

He looked in the distance and then to her in a way she couldn't describe. It was significant, odd, angry, indulgent, sorry and every contradiction she could think of. He mumbled something about talking to her later and left.

"Wha' was dat about?" Gambit came in from behind her. She jumped at the noise, in her own world.

"I dunno." She said after she had settled from the startle. "I really don'…."

Another silence came into the room and strutted around and neither she nor Gambit spoke. He sat sideways in a chair and watched her for a moment. The moment turned into a long moment. Rogue hardly noticed as her brain ran through the day, the night, the past few days and weeks. Everything that made no sense. What was it she was missing?

"You t'ink too much."

The words, all too accurate, broke into her and she looked up at him. He wasn't grinning like a devil. He was watching her. "Turn off da brain. And come for a ride."

He only said it once, didn't try to talk her into it. He simply stood up, tossed his leather jacket at her, and left. The leather sat on Rogue's lap for a minute as she processed what he said. She could use a ride to clear her head. She stood and went for the garage, where she presumed he went.

He was on a bike, starting the enginge as it echoed through the chamber. He glanced at her as she came in and simply offered her a helmet. She put on the helmet, for posterity, and tapped his. She climbed on and wrapped her arms around him. Time to clear the head.


	15. Steps in the Right Direction

Eventually, Rogue had to let it go, whatever it was that she couldn't quite place her finger on. If it was important, she would remember. It was always at the most convenient time too. When she did remember it was the middle of the night. She sat up in bed.

While drifting off to sleep her mind had been drifting as well. She heard Jubilee's music blasting from her side of the room, despite the earbuds wedged in the girl's head. Rogue had been thinking about the past few days and thoughts trailed one to another. Just when she was thinking of throwing a pillow at Jubes to turn if off or down, the idea hit her.

Why couldn't Rogue learn to turn her power off? Or at least down. She had learned to redirect her power, using herself as a conduit when she took Logan's healing factor. There was also the time that she had Gambit's energy in her veins. She had had to reverse that.

So if she could learn to change the flow of the energies and powers within her, surely she could stop the ability to even absorb on contact. Choose, focus, and not absorb. Her mind was reeling and spinning, back and forth at possibilities.

Rogue didn't notice the light outside. All night her brain had been contemplating the thought. She went through the motions trying to figure it out. She showered, brushed her teeth, got dressed, all the time her mind in another place.

_I really need to talk to someone_, she decided. But who? Apprehension caught her in the throat as she thought about telling someone. She supposed she was a pessimist by the fact she thought the response would be negative. 'No, Rogue, that's not possible."

Jean. She didn't think she could talk with Jean. Besides having no connection with the other woman, Jean was conservative. She had her wild days, Rogue knew, but that was past. It didn't seem realistic that Jean Grey would be interested in this type of project. Too bad, the very idea smacked of psychology and the brain.

Perhaps Dr. McCoy. He was so intelligent that he would be able to help her solve the conundrum. Oh, she thought, would she be able to understand him once he got going. Perhaps he was too smart.

Why hadn't she thought of him first? Professor Xavier! He had helped her all along and knew what she had been through and what she still struggled with. Unfortunately, it seemed everyone did. But Prof X would be the most realistic to help her, or to tell her if it were not possible.

She had to see him.

"Rogue!" a voice stopped her. She ignored and kept walking, her mind on one thing. "Rogue! Stop."

The person reached her and grabbed her.

Rogue spun around, shocked at the hand, "you're lucky you didn't get decked there, handsome. You wouldn't have been so handsome anymore."

John laughed. "Who's the one on fire now?"

"I'm on a mission, Pyro." She turned to leave again, but his hand still held her. "What?"

"Hey, easy, I need your help with something."

"Not now, but yes. Ok?" She nodded without knowing what she agreed to. "I'll help you later."

He grinned and let her go.

_Finally_, she thought, taking bigger strides to make up for the time lost. She knew if she hurried, she could catch the professor before his classes or meetings. But only if she saw him first thing. The morning usually spiraled out of control the more the day progressed.

"Rogue!" Kitty came running up beside her.

Trying a different tactic, Rogue stop short. "yes, whatisit?"

Kitty babbled and Rogue ran her sentences together to get the girl to hurry. Why couldn't Kitty be rushed? She spoke at Mach 7 every other day, why not now

"Ok. uhhuh." Rogue nodded, not listening. "Yeah ,you'reright. goforit."

Rogue walked off. It was a safe bet that it had something to with a boy. Piotr, or Bobby, or who knows who. Rogue didn't have the time.

So close, Rogue was closing in on the professor's door. She was in the same hall! And it was only 7:56. She breathed and walked tall.

"_Chere."_

"Not now." She simply said. She knew he followed. But she walked to the door.

She could see the double doors to the office. The handle was polished and the morning sun glinted off. She could see the braile next to the door. So close she could see the bumps.

"Rogue," Remy tried again. "Why chere ignore Remy?"

"Cajun," she turned. "I got something I need to take care of. And I'd love to hear what you have to say. Shit, I'd love to hear what everyone has to say. But. Not. Right. Now."

He opened his mouth again, and she slapped her hand over his mouth. "Not. Right. Now." She nodded.

Finally, she reached the door and glanced at her watch as she reached for the handle. 7:58. Her thoughts and hopes surged in her, the night and every contemplation and revelation over her powers swirling around in her, her hand shaking as she turned the knob.

But it didn't turn. "$%^&*!"

Her forehead leaned against the door with a thump. It was Wednesday. The 29th. She had forgotten his blasted appointment at the…..whatever, she didn't give a flip. He wasn't there.

How long until he would return? She searched her brain.

"It really be dat bad?"

She sighed and look to the side. She had forgotten Gambit and reddened at her cursing. "I jus' had something really important to discuss with the Professor."

She held her tears in check, but couldn't keep her face from flushing. Oh, her innards squished around in her. Why did it have to be Gambit here, about to see her cry? Anyone else.

He didn't say anything but came closer. "What?"

She knew that Gambit was kind a person, despite his cocky demeanor. He put his hand on the wall behind her and leaned in. his concern made it worse as all her emotions bubbled up. "I, well, see, I was thinking, I mean, I, before I feel asleep. And then I woke up."

He put his hand up. "Slow down, _cherie,_ Gambit non follow."

She breathed for a bit, sinking down to the ground to sit. She knew she was supposed to be in the danger room for a session, but her mind and heart were somewhere else at the moment. She breathed, her emotions settling somewhat. Gambit sat next to her, his knee bumping hers after awhile. He tapped his knee against hers/

After a while. She was composed. "I had some great idea that I wanted to talk about with the professor."

Gambit nodded.

"I really think," she paused, losing faith in herself, "thought I had an idea about my powers."

"Tell Remy instead den."

"It's silly."

"Eh," he waved a hand. "So? You can test 't out moi, den tell him when he back."

" I don't know…" Rogue felt uninspired. "I need to get to the dangerroom."

"To hell wit' dem," Gambit grinned, his red pupils flashed. "Come on."

He stood up and offered her his hand. When she took it, hesitant, he yanked her on to her feet. He pulled her along, and soon she was following of her own freewill, curious as to where they were going.

He took them up to the roof. It was quite, except for the occasional generator noises, or voices carrying across the yard and up to the roof. They sat again the wall. Gambit just staring at her.

"I guess…" She started. "I thought…kinda…"

She felt so stupid now that the words were on her lips instead of her brain. He would think she was crazy. Perhaps it was a good thing that Professor X hadn't been available. She didn't need to feel like an idiot in front of him, once again.

"I thought maybe," she tried one more time. "I could _shutmypowersoff_."

The words ran together and she lowered her voice. But it made her feel even stupider to try to hide what she wanted or play it down. She took a deep breath. "I thought of a way I could perhaps turn my touch ability off."

Her insides quaked at saying it aloud. She didn't look at him for a second, part of her waiting, wincing at the laugh he was about to break out. But when he didn't say or so anything she looked over at him. He was watching her, an eyebrow cocked, his head tilted, saying, yes? Go on.

"I-you don't think that sounds silly?"

He shrugged. "Gambit don' know da Rogue's idea yet."

Encouraged she explained to him. "I was thinking that since I was able to control my abilities a bit more, change the flow of energy, that maybe I could stop it all together. Remember that time we were on the roof—" she looked around, "Up here. And I, you, I had your energy in my hand and you talked me into discharging it?

"And with Drake, I was able to transfer Wolverine's power to help him.

Rogue was talking aloud as the thoughts flowed through her. "If I could take the way I focused on the reversing, and be able to almost smother it, so no power were triggered if I touched someone else. Maybe my touch could eventually become something I turn off rather than to turn on."

She talked on, the idea becoming clearer. She had never been able to stop herself and her power before because she was just trying to stop it without understanding the full ability or herself. With the step of learning to absorb and to send out the power, she gained a facet of control. The next step was to control the absorbing.

After she was done, she waited but he didn't say anything. She turned to look at him, realizing she hadn't been watching him at all while she explained. Part of her felt nervous at his possible reaction, the other part of her realized that what she said made sense to her and was valid.

"Makes sense," he finally said.

"You think so?" she asked, he shrugged but nodded.

"That is why I wanted to talk with the professor, so he could help me figure out how and what to do next. I'm not sure…" she drifted off.

"Touch Remy." He smiled.

She balked. He wanted her to flat out touch him? Did he really know what was at risk? Not only the fact that she could absorb all of him, there would be no cocky swamprat, but she would take his powers and likely blow up the building.

"You do have a deathwish don'tcha?" she laughed it off, unable to deal with her shock.

"I trust you."

His words stopped her cold. She hadn't ever felt the twisting sensation in her chest before. She had felt fear, anger, but this twinge was new. She had trusted teammates, and viceverse, but Gambit was talking about something else.

"I'm not sure I trust myself."

Without needing words, Gambit moved closer. He slowly, as before, moved his hand next to hers on the wall. He gave her nod, as if to say concentrate. She would focus while he touched her, so she would only focus on the one thing, he would worry about the rest.

She closed her eyes and focused her mind. When it wouldn't focus, she focused on her breathing, then her mind. It felt like forever, but she didn't feel anything. She thought of the last time they had touched, what she saw. In fear of it happening again, her eyes snapped open. She saw that he wasn't that close to her hand yet, taking his time.

"I don't know, last time…" she stumbled over the words.

"Last time we touched jus' fine."

It was true, she only lost control, not even knowing she had it, and then saw Gambit's life and thoughts. It didn't matter she told herself as she closed her eyes. Gambit's life was his. Rogue knew they had touched before. She could control this, she reminded herself. She could do this.

She thought of a wall, but that seemed isolating. She thought of ice, but it then made her think of Drake. Finally, she just thought of nothing, silencing all the voices in her head. She needed to soother herself, calm all the voices, thoughts, and feelings.

She almost jumped when she felt the slightest sensation on the back of her hand. But she forced out the anxiety and thoughts and breathed in tranquility. She could feel the ring on her finger moving about, flesh occasionally grazing flesh. Sometimes she just felt the pressure of part of his hand, but knew they were gloved.

She didn't open her eyes, but was stunned at Gambit's patience. Her mind drifted to other things he might be patient with, and she blushed. She felt heat in her fingers, and realized that she had absorbed some of his energy when she thought that. Without overreacting, she mentally doused her hand in water to cool the energy. She couldn't smother it or it would shoot out, she knew she wasn't that savvy her ability to control his power.

He wasn't touching her anymore, having pulled back when he knew she had absorbed some of his power. But once she returned to her quasi-meditation, she opened her eyes.

"Thank you," she said. "I didn't think I could do it on my own."

Perhaps she didn't need to run to the professor all the time. She could figure it out on her own.

"Tomorrow?" he asked

She bit her lip, smiling still. "yeah.—if you don't mind."

He stood up and flipped a card around. He flipped the card at her, uncharged, and walked to the door. The card landed in her lap. The queen of hearts.

Rogue went downstairs and found the rest parked in the lounge.

"Where have you been?" they asked.

"Sorry about missing practice. Something came up." She suppressed her smile.

"What practice? It was canceled today because Scott and Jean and the rest had to go check out some new kid." Drake explained, his eyebrow raised but was quickly under control.

"Ah." Rogue nodded. She felt the experience she had still swilling around in her gut, almost aching to be told. But she wasn't quite ready to tell them yet. She smiled instead.

It also explained why gambit was able to say 'blow it off' to the dangerroom.

"So, about this morning…" John said.

Oh….Rogue didn't know what she had agreed to. "Yeah?"

"Are you ready?"

"Ready for what?" she didn't know.

"You don't remember?" Pyro depressed somewhat.

"Uh. No, sorry." She grinned sheepishly.

"You agreed to be my date because my mom thinks I have a girlfriend."

What? She had agreed to that. That didn't sound like anything he had said this morning. "Ha-ha. Yeah you got me. What did I really agree to do?"

Drake's eyebrow was up again and he was looking off to the side. Rogue withered.

"You're kidding?" She asked. "Right?"

Everyone in the room was silent.

Kitty smiled and pulled Rogue to the side. "No. uh, you agreed. Remember we talked about it this morning too."

Rogue groaned inside. When she heard Kitty talking of relationships he naturally thought Kitty was talking about Kitty. "Why can't you do it?"

Kitty leveled a gaze on her friend. "Yes, that is really what I need. To make my love triangle a love square."

"Jubes?"

"They fight like brother and sister."

"Why did he even tell his mother he had a girlfriend. Just say we broke up, or find some girl for the weekend. He can." Rogue looked around and out the window. "Her, she's cute."

"Rogue," Kitty sighed. "He's your friend. You agreed. Just do it."

"Ok." She shrugged it shouldn't be that hard.

"Great, thanks Rogue," he kissed her on the cheek. "We leave tonight."

"What?" He was already gone.

She looked around at the rest. "What? What is going on?"

"I think we should ask you the same thing? How could agree to something like that then forget?" Jubes asked. "You know it's important."

"Ok, I have something I'm dealing with, and I can't quite talk about it right now."

"You always have something you're dealing with, Rogue." Betsy dropped that bomb.

"Ok. Yes. I am so self absorbed and have huge mental and emotional issues." She might have been passive aggressive slightly, or more. But she needed to know how she was supposed to help John. "But, please tell me what I am supposed to do as a good friend, since I was so bad a friend and forgot.

The kid it turned out that Cyclops and the others had gone to see had been John's brother. At some point they had called him and needed him to come tell his family and show them how he was doing. That Xavier's school had helped him. It could help his brother. Jared could have a normal life. In doing so, John's mother asked about his friends, life, and pried for details. Under duress, John had lied and said life was so normal that he had a girlfriend. That is when he saw Rogue walk by that morning. He told his mom that she was coming too.

John and quickly hung up and chased Rogue down. It wasn't that he wanted to lie to his parents, it was just that life was not normal. They wanted that for Jared and it simply wasn't going to happen. But Xavier's was the best place for him. So if John had to make his parents feel better about some superficial details, he would to help his brother.

Rogue went to her room to pack. She had been so excited to start her progress toward touching, and here it was put off by a day. Or two. Geez, see hoped it wasn't longer than that. A week? With John? Pretending to be in love? They could flirt, but their relationship wasn't like that. At least she didn't have to worry about having to pretend to kiss him and touch him.

"Ugh, he picks the most unnormal girl to be his cover," Rogue sighed.

It wasn't until she was on the train that Rogue realized she hadn't told Remy she would be gone. Dammit. She texted Kitty to pass along a message. She spent the whole trip figuring out what to say. If only Remy had a freakin' phone himself.

To: Kitty (555-324-2575)

Plz tell Gambit I had 2 help John. Don't tell him y. Just that I had to help. bbl. :)

From: Kitty (555-324-2575)

Will do. & ill tell u how he reacts 2!


End file.
